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Poetry 2004 - Sorted By Title

1

10 More Things I Hate About You

I hate the way you say my name
And pretend you know it all,
I hate the way you look at me
When you pass me in the hall.
I hate it when I close my eyes
And you are always there,
I hate it when you look at me
And tell me life's not fair.
I hate it is when you brush past me
And chills go up my spine,
I hate how you play the same song over and over again
But I don't seem to mind.
I hate it how you say something
And then you take it back,
I hate how you press rewind
And want to go back to the past.
I hate it that I am second best
When you are always my first,
And out of all the things I hate about you
I hate this one the worst.

A

A Different Reflection

Those words that were pure somehow got tangled up in lies.
That bright light that shown turned into night.
And that reflection in the mirror
turned into a shattered glass on my floor.

Now every time we speak
I cry.
And every time we look at each other
I see a face I have never seen before.

So, it's ok if you want to go away,
it's ok if you never want to come back.
Maybe then I can look in my mirror and love the person
I see looking back at me.

A Storm

Beating on one's window
so rhythmically, so ponderingly
Wishing from home that
sun will soon show its fierce rays again
Lightning lights the sky when
soon follows the crashing cries of thunder
When lightening fills the sky with joyous trauma
the tears of the sky fall yet ever so pure, so peaceful
What's that, it only is the thing that lets me sleep,
lets me think, lets me smile
When going outside, letting crystals of dreams fall on me
when everything seems so unreal
We live to see such beautiful things
when everything else doesn't matter to us
A Storm

About Me

You know that saying, "Things aren't always what they seem."
Well, that saying counts for me,
I have never woken up in someone's arms,
I'm a liar and a cheat,
And I'm not as sweet as I seem,
I am not an angel or a devil,
I am somewhere in between,
But that's something most people don't know about me

Adopting Myself into a Great Home

I was adopted when I was 4 years old.
I don't know who my real parents are.
They left me when I was a newborn baby.
Acting like they didn't care at all.
I live with my sister Leslie now, in a home where I know people care.
I have six sisters who I know love me, too.
It's hard to think I may never see my real parents again, but I try not to think about it at all.

Dedicated to: My birth parents

All I Want In You

All I want in life is to be loved
All I want is a guy who's . . .
Someone tall, dark, handsome, caring or blonde,
Blue eyes. Josh Russell I love you!!!!!!!

An Angel

ur like an angel
comin' from heaven
2 get wit me
like if it wuz a mission
2 make me fall in love wit u
when i can't spend everyday wit u
I wish i could
so I could wake up everyday
wit u by my side
no matter wut
u'll alwayz be in my heart

As I Look Around

as I looked around
without a sound
I knew that it was true

I thought that I was dumb
but you showed me I was wrong
and now nothing that I do can change my love for you

it seems like they're not there when I'm found but you changed that into my love
and now as I wait for you
I realize you are my everything
I know you are my world

B

Be You

Can you imagine
Imagine how
how life can be
for someone like me

Lie back and enjoy
your perfect fun life
while others are cryin' themselves to sleep
Go ahead
enjoy it while you can

Just remember the strugglers
who do nothing for their lives
who just let themselves get hurt
and don't stick up for themselves

Don't be them... Be you...
strong and proud...

Don't be them

Black Butterfly

Slowly I advanced.
Often overlooked, stepped on, crushed.
Under the eyes of those who see me
I feel unfairly judged.
Frightened and alone.
Not everyone stops to notice
That my movements are poetic,
My stride is determined
And my spirit is free.
Those who claim to recognize beauty
For all it's worth look at me
And see nothing to love.
I taught myself to accept mistreatment.
Despite the tears and all my fears
My bitter life is now sweetened.
Now victory is within my reach
A Black Butterfly who died
Can finally be set free

Blue

Blue, is a feeling I don't want to feel
Blue, the feeling is too real
Blue, is the feeling you gave to me
Blue, because of you I'm hurting constantly
Blue, I'm tired of feeling this way
Blue, but baby I want you to stay
Blue, the things you do to me
Blue, I don't know what's come over me
Blue, you got me going round and round
Blue, I feel like I just ran a thousand miles
Blue, I don't know what to do
Blue, but all my love is for you

Broken

The day he broke my heart.
I felt like my life could just fall apart.
The sun doesn't shine like it used to.
I thought getting older I would have troubles more few.
I guess I'm not good enough.
Or maybe this whole thing was just a bluff.
No more hearts with your and my name.
I guess you could say I'm really sick of playing this game.
All the pictures of you have been taken down.
And all you see on my face anymore is just a frown.
I stay in my room thinking of you all day and night.
But the thought of you just doesn't feel right.
I think of you when I go to bed. My memories of you and I, I can't get out of my head.
Sitting by you on the bus.
I don't want those memories of us to turn to dust.
When I see you I want to cry or I feel like I could just die.
You feel like you left me broken and alone.
Oh how I wish my care for you would have shone.
I would have given you my all.
But it feels like I tripped and you let me fall.
I would have given everything I had.
But you don't even feel the least bit bad.
I hope you're happy with who ever you have. And someday you WILL feel bad. You will be sorry you let me go.
Because I would have always been there but only this you will later on know.

Broken Heart

No one can ever make me feel
The way that I feel for you.
You make me laugh,
You make me cry.
You broke my heart,
You healed it quick.
But please,
Don't break it again.

Brown Sugar, Love & Basketball Love

When you grow up together, not knowing whether
they feel the same way as you . . .
When you find yourself dreaming and anticipating
all the romantic things you'd do.
That's Brown Sugar, Love & Basketball Love
When you deny your feelings and ignore your mind, loneliness, pain, and jealousy are some things you'll find.
And when you finally give up your stubborn heart and let your feelings show, everything around you will have a unique glow.
So don't wait another second to let them know,
hurry up and let it show.

C

Can't Help But Smiling

Have you awakened in the morning,
And had an eternal smile on your face?
I did this frigid morning,
As I do every beautiful, lively morning.
I have this precious thing.
Many call it love,
I just call it everlasting and unutterable.
My special someone calls it happiness.
I love them,
But not nearly as much as they love me.
Maybe, And only maybe,
That might be why in the rising morning,
And I see their visage staring into my soul,
I just can't help but smiling.
They hold me all through the night,
So I feel protected, and our undying love.
That's why when I see the sun every morning,
I just can't help but smiling.

Confusion

Through all the years,
And all the lies,
The pain they caused,
My eyes to cry.
The remarks I've gotten
Because of the way I look,
The color of my skin,
The time it took.
People started to realize,
I was different in side,
And that my real self,
Was trying to hide.
They started to like me,
Because I acted like them,
I thought that I would get something,
But instead I didn't win.
If I could do anything,
It would be to be with you,
But I know that it won't happen,
And something I just can't do.
I'm so confused now,
Living life so fast,
Not knowing what to do,
And when to throw out my cast.
I just wish it would be easier,
For me to get through the day,
And not be confused,
In every little way.
I told you those words,
That aren't easy to say,
But I felt that towards you,
And it was love all the way.
You thought it was playing,
To get you to notice me,
But your eyes,
Can't see everything I have to see.
When I look in your eyes,
Everything goes blank,
My heart starts to race,
My mind can't think.
My hands start to tremble,
When you look at me,
My body gets heavy,
Like the waves in the sea.
Some days are bad,
And I don't know why,
But when that happens,
I want to break down inside and cry.
The three words I told you,
Is what I felt inside,
And no matter how you feel,
I'll love you until I die.
You might think I'm playful,
And a child at that,
But what I was scared of,
Is how you would react.
Like and love,
Are opposites apart,
But what I have for you,
Is love straight from my heart.
The excuses before,
About me and you,
Were nothing but lies,
Because that's not what you wanted to do.
If you felt or feel something different,
Then tell me how you feel,
I don't want a relationship,
Where nothing in it is real.
I'm not saying that we should
Or should not be together,
But we should always be friends,
Through any kind of weather.
I can't sleep at night,
I just stare into the sky,
Over and over I ask,
The question why, why, why?
My friends all just told me,
To take some time out,
Sit and talk to you,
Without a worry or a doubt.
But it's not as easy,
When you don't know for sure,
What you'll be losing,
And what you can endure.
Because the letters
l-o-v-e
Might not be special to you
But they're very special to me.
I wanted to act like me,
And not someone that I know,
But when everyone's pushing you,
You don't know where to go.
All of these games,
Where I don't act the same,
These split personalities,
Are driving me insane.
I wish I could express
Everything I feel,
But this poem would be a neverending tale.
I don't want to end it,
But I know that's what I should do,
So I'll make no regrets,
Or "I wish that I woulds."
So take this into consideration
And think about you,
And the things you feel,
And what you want to do,
You won't hurt my feelings,
In any kind of way,
As long as we are friends,
And talk every day.
But don't forget me,
No matter how far we get apart,
Because your name
Will always stay in my heart.

D

Deadened Dreams

In a dream
Picture
A picture perfect sky
Filled with the stars
Through the night
When day breaks
It breaks all things
When it comes
The birds no longer sing
Of beautiful days
And of everything that love brings
Because love is gone
There's no song to sing
That is what the day brings
Realization of all fears, reality
That is what the day brings

Dedicated To You

This is dedicated to you, the one that I love
It's like god sent me an angel from the heavens above
Never thought that I could love again
Thank you for everything, especially this heart that you had to mend
Things might change, but that don't mean a thang
'Cuz to me you will always be the same
Deep down inside this feeling is real
Although I am writing this poem words can't express the way I feel
This is dedicated to you and will always be
I just want to thank you for loving me

Deep Inside

When I look inside your heart
It's nothing but a mystery
You use it to express your part
Yet it means nothing to me

I feel it's stupid and useless
To look deep inside oneself
When your life is a total mess
Lonely, and sad, waiting by yourself

But everything gets better
You'll see...
To stay optimistic in what you endeavor
It's my destiny

Does My Features Not Attract You?

Do I look funny
Does my features not attract you
Do you not care for a girl like me
Does my features not attract you
Is it my eyes, nose, or lips
Does my features not attract you
It's my face you don't like
Does my features not attract you
Is it cause my breast aren't a size "c"
Does my features not attract you
Or is it cause my butt ain't as big as you want it to be
Does my features not attract you
Is it cause I don't have the newest fashions
Does my features not attract you
Is it cause I don't have a model's body
Does my features not attract you
If my features don't attract you
Then you aren't the one for me
We could have made a cute couple you and I
but you want a girl with features and
I've got personality!

Don't Want to Let You Go

Why do I have to let you go?
I don 't even know.
But I have no choice but to.
Hope one day, we bump into each other
So we can be together.
I love you so much with all my heart
Now my heart is tearing apart.
I don 't want to let you go
Just to let you know
I don 't know what to do
but keep on loving you.

Dream

Every time you look at me
I remember my dream
It was about you and me
Or that's how it seems

It started out with a song
It was here comes the bride
Here I come just walking along
Kind of with a glide

That's when I saw you
All dressed up in that tux
It's too bad it's not true
That really sucks

By the end of all this
The preacher said kiss the bride
So that's when we kissed
After that we were side by side

This is the end
It's all over now
If only this was not pretend
Could it happen now?

Well I guess it could
And I hope it will
That would be good
And that's it until...

Dreams

Dreams are things that come at night,
That sometimes gives you such a fright.
Some dreams make you move and turn,
But afterwards you might learn.
So think about what I just said,
And make sure you have one before you're dead.

E

End

If death is the end,
Then why does it hurt so bad,
When you're gone.
Maybe 'cause the thought of you,
Racing through my mind.
It hurts when I'm mad,
It hurts when I'm sad,
Especially since you're gone.

Everlasting

My love for you,
Is always true.
It's never to stop,
You hit the top.
You were the one,
I never knew.
I never found love,
Until I found you.

Every Girls Dream

In my dream I dreamed I loved you
And in my dream you loved me too.
We had the perfect life together . . .
We talked, we laughed, and cried together.
Our days were filled with so much joy that I couldn't imagine
Being with any other boy.
You were the best, for I know its true, that I wouldn't survive one day without you.
So in the end we had the perfect life together. We talked, we laughed, and cried together.
Will this dream ever come true?
No one knows...but I'm just glad that that boy was you.

F

Fake

I don't know how to explain,
All of this aggravating pain.
That has taken me for a ride,
All just a big lie.
Living in an illusion,
Of everything being great.
Reality has just sunk in,
Everything I have now is fake.

For My Love Is Untitled

in which I cannot explain
these words are to blame for hiding my shame
my petty in loving you is so weird
and so plain
in which do I love you?
or is it the shame?
the shame is what hides my feelings for you
my feelings that convince me that you are true
but if you're true where am I?
I am not there. Now lets say goodbye
goodbye to you and goodbye to me
for I know you never loved me.
you never loved me enough to mean it, to say, " "I love you "
with feeling and truth
but that's you and this is me saying goodbye
for all to see . . .
goodbye to you and goodbye to me, for once maybe you can love me . . .
but for now I love you and goodbye...

Forever Love

Side by side you walk together
Locking hands you talk together
This is forever love
Going to Prom and dancing around
Being together without a frown
This is forever love
Those college parties
This couple's never tardy
This is forever love
After college there is marriage
The wonderful couple now becomes parents
This is forever love

From Me

save me from this pain, this insanity
this sorrow and madness that has taken our lives
this outstanding stupidness that you call life...
save me from the insanely ungrateful hateful backstabbing good-riddence
type of life
You know I used to play your little game but not no more
so stop and look at me, truly look
deeply into me . . .
try to see, try to see me
and how I want to be
because obviously you can't see
you tell me you love me but you know I want to believe that but you make it sound so fake
so dumb
so not real
not real as I am not real
everything I do is another mistake to you
I am so tired, so mad at you
I want to be more of me can't you see you're holding too tightly
I am right in front of you; hold me, hug me
every second I waste is you throwing me away
I am sorry I can't be perfect
I just want to be me
and you hold me back and keep me from . . .
from me
when that's I all I want . . . it's all I ever wanted to be
don't you see?
I still love you but will you ever love me?

G

Gone

You said we'd be together,
You said we'd be forever.
When you left I cried,
You said you wouldn't come back.
I got over you,
But then you came back.
I cried and cried,
Again and again.
You left all over again.
Now I'm gone.
Forgetting you,
While I'm still remembering you.
Our love is still here,
And yet it is gone.
Finally it's over,
And you're gone.

Good-bye

I never got to say my good-byes
My life is flashing before my eyes
I cannot breathe
I cannot feel
I wish it were fake
But this moment is real
My life is turning upside down
I'm lying here upon the ground
My world has become black and white
My eyes are wide with terror and fright
It's like I'm watching this
From another view
I'm looking down upon it
Seeing me and you
I see me slowly dying
I see you slowly crying
Everything is slowing down
I want to smile, but have to frown.

I wish I could have said good-bye
I don't even have the energy to sigh
I cannot feel you holding my hand
Is this all part of God's great plan?
To have me lying in the road?
To have my body pale and cold?
Is this supposed to happen?
Is it just my time to go?
I feel my heart beat slowing down
Along with my blood flow

I didn't really say good-bye
To say I'm not scared would be a lie
I know I only have a few more seconds on this earth
I hope I lived my life every second that it's worth
I'm in a long dark tunnel with a bright light at the end
I'm sorry to leave you all alone in this world, my friend

Sorry I didn't say my good-byes
I wish I could wipe the tears from your eyes
It seems like we'll never see each other again
But I know for a fact this is not the end
I'm going to a place ten times better than here
So please do not worry, please do not fear
In the place that I'm going
Everyone shares
Everyone wants to
'Cause everyone cares
So please stop crying
Please, can't you see?
There's no need to be sad
You should be happy for me

I didn't need to say good-bye
It's not at all like I'm leaving your side
I know that you will miss me because I already miss you
But whenever this happens, here's what you should do
If you're ever lonely and if you're ever sad
Close your eyes and think of all the good times that we had
And when you have your eyes shut, take a second to recall
That I am still here with you, I haven't left at all

So after all that's happened
After all this time
The only thing that I would change was to have said good-bye.

H

Hairy Feet Or Plastic Wings

I climb up this tree,
And want to fly away.
But I have no wings,
Just millions of hairy feet.
Everyone who is anyone is flying above
Pointing, jeering at the only one who does not fly.
I stare at the clouds wanting, dreaming to be within them
But I can't, I'm stuck here on the ground.
I want so badly to be with the "beautiful."
To soar on out-stretched wings.
So I change my look, my attitude, my voice, my friends.
I make two plastic, superficial extensions
That pose as colorful wings.
I escalate on a burst of wind.
Sailing next to "the beautiful."
The ones that seemed so high were actually only a few feet from where I once lay.
I look to the clouds, they seem still far away.
I look at "the beautiful," the ones I thought where so wonderful high and mighty
Bags under their eyes.
They dream about a life I once had,
The one with furry feet among the trees.
They question why I was so quick to change my style to get a life of superficial wings.
I doubted myself.
I had made a mistake.
I float down on that same burst of wind,
My hairy feet meeting the earth
My friends that I abandoned for a life of plastic greeted me.
They asked, "How was it? Were the clouds beautiful? Were their wings colorful? How did the wind feel?"
I could not answer! I had felt nothing!
I pondered what I had imagined at first.
"I was not myself," I finally answered.
"The clouds are more beautiful here
With my true friends

Then three feet higher with plastic wings."

He's the One But Yet We Don't Know

He's the One But Yet We Don't Know

In the deepest part of my heart I know it all
I am the only one as I know and recall

The one I love, my match, as I can see
With him, my mind, my life, even my sleep is peacefully

In the stillest hour of the night
I am awakened by a light

In my dream I saw him as my kids' sire
With his heart open full of safe fire

I knew it at first, there was a special spark
I think of him in the daylight but some much more in the dark

I always wonder why we were always apart
But our love so close, it's still hard to reveal to my heart

Our hearts gave out such a beautiful glow
But we didn't last, why? I don't know!

Hello

Tired of crying.
Tired of dying.
Tired of having to say
Good-bye to the one I need.

It seems I'm barely breathing.
I'm not suicidal, I'm just tired
Of hurting.

Hello my darling salvation.
I fear I'm losing you.
I'm not alive, I am simply existing.
What am I to do?

Suicide is not what I require.
Though I want to die.
Harping on my many,
Failed attempts to fly
I simply must find refuge.
Where and how,
Does not matter to me.
One question still echoes loudest,
Does Jesus still love me?

Hello my darling savior.
I fear I'm losing you.
I'm not alive,
I'm simply persisting.
Am I still apart of you?

Here is the truth!

You piss me off,
and make me cry.
I don't listen anymore,
'cause all you do is lie.
You're self-centered,
and don't know what to do.
You think that my world
should revolve around you.
But to tell you the truth,
I really don't care.
You act like I don't exist,
and that I'm just not there.
Well here I am,
wasting my time,
wishing I had you,
wishing you were mine.

I

I Am

She sits next to you and starts to talk,
She moves her hand and finds yours,
She holds your hand tight and whispers something in your ear.
She smiles, you smile back
She looks into your eyes and doesn't see the real you
She sees someone who feels for a person looking for attention
You see somebody lost and feel sorry for her out of pity because she says she has no one.
I know the story. I know it well.

You're the one who sticks up for your little brother,
You're the guy who wishes your best friend hadn't changed and was there for you.
I know the "real" you.
I'm the one who really needs you,
I'm the one who told her I liked you and she decided she'd get you first.
I'm the one that hopes her friends lives till she's 16.
I'm the one who prays for a better tomorrow,
I'm the one that wishes for a new life,
I'm the one who dreams of having you in my life forever.
I am

I Am Hated

I am hated,
By everyone.
Nobody can ever say,
That they love me.
I hate the people,
That hate me.
And I hate the people,
That say they love me.

I Don't Want

The way I am feeling isn't fair
I don't want people to stare
I don't want to be an outcast
And in gym I don't want to be picked last
I don't want to sit alone
I don't want people to be scared to come into my zone
I don't want people to make fun
I don't want people to look and run
I don't want people to be mean
I dont want to feel like I can't be seen
But I don't want to be the same 'cuz that would be really lame
Just know those people aren't real
And know that your heart will heal
What they do to you will backfire on them one day too
So don't bother to cry when they make fun
And don't bother to run, stay strong
This won't last long

I Don't Want You Back

You keep bringing me back
I want to let go
It's for my own good
But you're all that I know
Every time I look at you
It tears at my heart
You said not to push away
Let's have a new start
Promises made to be different
To stop with your old ways
I can't say that I trust you
What if you're playing games?
I'll never let go of the past
The hurtful things you said to me
This is the last time I'll tell you
It's over . . . so just let it be

I Hate You

I hate the way you know me best
as if some dumb test.

I hate that you always know what I'm thinking
as if I'm speaking.

I hate the way your smile reaches your eyes
It makes me wanna reach for the skies.

I hate the way with just one stare
you can make me wanna care.

I hate the way you're always right
it makes me wanna scream and fight.

I hate the way you know what's best
in such a big mess.

I hate that I don't hate you at all
and that in my eyes you're ten feet tall.

I hate the way I love you this much
when you can have my heart with just one touch.

I love you too much

Your eyes make me weak in the knees
Your voice sends chills up my back
And your touch makes me melt into
A puddle of love,
But somehow I know we will not work out,
So because I love you this much
No longer can we be together.

I Should Only Be So Lucky

I should only be so lucky
to forget you
and that you ever existed

I should only be so lucky
to fall in love
and not get annoyed

I should only be so lucky
to forgive you
and move on with my life

I should only be so lucky
to forget that you
chose another over me

I should only be so lucky
to leave this town
and leave without your memory

I Should Only Be So Lucky

I have friends to go to the movies with
When it all seems like a blur
When grades are good, and the 'rents like them
We get to go to see Be Heard.
The movies are good, and they aren't stupid
It's almost time to go home
But I have to call my big sister
All the time on the phone.
We drop off the rest of my friends at home
And they said they had fun
I really had fun too,
But it's by time I'm done.

I'll Never Learn

I fall in love
And end up happy
Life turns against me
And I am left alone
I find another
And heaven as well
To only be turned
To the gates of Hell
And still another
Has left me weeping
My heart is swollen
From taken love
Yet I gave it freely
How careless of me?

I've really Messed Up Now

It's true what they say you never know what you've got until it's gone
Now I sit in this big, dark, lonely place all alone
I've been too busy trying to play hard to get
Now it feels like I've been beat, stepped on, and hit.
I ask myself over, and over why, and how
I've finally come to realize that I've really messed up now.
I feel so bad that I don't have you in my life
It feels like I've been stabbed with a red-hot burning knife.
If I could only turn back the hands of time
I'd definitely make sure with no doubt that you'd be mine.
Should I really be proud, stand up and take a bow
How could I when I know that I've really messed up now?

If Only You Knew

If only you knew how much I loved you
If only you knew how much I cared
I wish I could tell you if only I dared
I wish I could scream and tell you my love
Whenever I'm with you my heart flutters like a dove.

If you ever know my love and how strong it is
To be able to express with one simple kiss
I wish you could hear y heart beat because it only beats for you
I pray you know my love and that you know it's true

I dream that one day you and I will look into each other's eyes
And say I do
But this fantasy of mine
Is only a short sketch in time
That will soon be erased
Like the last time your hand touched my face

These thoughts I have buried deep inside
The pride that says you can't reveal
How much I love you and it is so real
I wish I could tell you all my hopes and dreams for the future

But it seems I can't find the right words to say
That I feel so wonderful when you're a part of my day
If you only knew how much I cared
If only I could tell you if only I dared
Maybe you already know and I hope you do
But if not I'll tell you I truly love you!

To the love of my life!

If You Were Loved By Me

If you were loved by me I would let you know
If you were loved by me I would try not to let it show
If you were loved by me I'd kiss you every day
If you were loved by me I'd smile when you were near
If you were loved by me I'd keep you here
If you were loved by me I'd walk with you to each class
If you were loved by me you would be mine always
Am I loved by you?

In a Dream

In a dream I cried
In a dream I died
In a dream I fell and couldn't get up
In this dream I called your name
All I got back was echo, echo, echo
In the midnight hour I awoke
To a saddening feeling
Because a dream isn't a dream without your love

In Living Color

Now here I am writing a poem about things off the top of my head.
When I am full of hate, stress, and dread.
I am not the happy little girl I used to be.
Full of fun, hope and glee.

I almost turned my back on the world and pushed it away.
Til' I thought deeply about that one day.

I'm not the one with the problem.
They are. Yes they.
The ones who don't dress like them and are fake.
They go around with their big mouths.
Talking about people and putting them down.

But look here, I'm not worrying because I don't see anything wrong with me.
I see a beautiful girl who is full of relief.

Because I realized that I have paved a new path.
That when they make fun of me,
That's another flaw that they have.

Internet Friend

We met that day on the Internet
I was excited and new,
I wanted to try everything
You showed me what to do!
When our chat room came to an end, I thought I'd lost you and we'd never talk again.
I was upset, my heart was broken
Then one day, talking to friends, I spotted you!
My broken heart filled with glee,
For I knew our friendship was meant to be.
Some say happy endings don't come true
But, I know it happened for me and you.

It's What's Within

It's what's within
If you feel it, let it out
Even if it means you have to scream or shout
If you hear voices and you don't agree about what they say
Stand up, let it out, don't hold it in all day
Some just agree with others so they can fit in
But just take time to remember
It's what's within

K

Kaleidoscope

On a warm summer's eve, I walked.
It seemed as if I was moving so fast
Yet I was standing still.
It seemed as if the grass was growing five feet each second,
Even though it was barely two inches tall.
The petals on all the flowers grew bigger and bigger
Until the sky was orange and purple and red and yellow!
The pond to my
LEFT was suddenly on my RIGHT.

It was in front of me.
Then behind me.
Then nowhere to be found!
The sun wasn't shining on me,
I was shining on the sun.
The stars weren't in the sky,
But were found in the ground.
I heard SCREAMING...then laughter.
I moved a tree and saw GIANT rats running around playing some sort of tag.
One bit another's tail . . . then ran and bit another's, and another's.
Again . . . and again . . . and again and again
Until he'd bitten them all,
Even his own.
I saw the world all jumbled and mixed up like a kaleidoscope.
I wanted it to stay that way,
from now until forever.
It looked like something I'd seen before,
Something from yesterday,
Something in a catalog,
I remember it very well,
It was . . . It was . . .

L

Life

Life is like an avalanche, it can be hard and dangerous.
Life is like a flowing river, sometimes it slides by without thought.
Life is turned by time, seasons pass and years fly by.
Life is like a wheel, rolling by without a care.
Our life will someday end, hopefully no day soon,
But when it does, the life of all will go on eternally.

Life, All Over Again

You broke my heart,
You set me free.
You hurt me bad,
You just can't be.
I loved you once,
But long before.
You threw my heart,
Across the floor.
You were the one,
I've loved forever.
I asked if you loved me,
And you said never.
If you hate me,
Then tell me soon.
As long as it isn't,
Anytime past noon.
Hurry up,
You're wasting time.
The clock is ticking,
Stop being a mime.
Then, all the words,
That he had said.
Hurt me the worst,
Inside my head.
"Please, don't get upset with me,
I will love you endlessly.
But only as a dear, dear friend,
I'm sorry to make your heart bend."
And at that time,
I wanted to die.
But all I could do,
Is just cry and cry.
My heart was broken,
Many times in the past.
I wound up in the hospital,
Wrapped in a body cast.
I ended up,
Crying for love.
You were my god,
You were my dove.
I just want,
You to remember.
You were my heart,
You were my sender.
The bridge is coming,
Closer and closer.
My body is racing,
As a roller coaster.
Standing on the bridge,
Ready to fall.
I write a note,
To tell all.
"I ended up,
Dying for love.
You were my god,
You were my dove."

Lifeless

He sits there lifeless
broken heart
His dreams are fading away.

He sits there lifeless
he can't get her off his mind
He never realized how much
he needed her

He sits there lifeless
he can't take it anymore
Staring waiting what will he do

He sits there lifeless
the dead silence is broken
Heads turn tears fall

He lays there lifeless

Live for Me

study for school
follow the golden rule
march in the parade
get the good grade
wear the right clothes
always have highs not lows
sing for the opening day
never run away
be who you tell me to be
see what you tell me to see
don't act like a fool
go to the right school
listen to what you're told
be simple never bold
did you do everything you could
to make me look good
win Miss America
work in the cafeteria
live in the right neighborhood
become a star in Hollywood
write a best seller
be more famous than Helen Keller
see what I wanted to see
be who I wanted to be
live for me

Lonely and Tired

People flying by, and memories too
We're all happy, all but me
Everybody has a friend
But the others' washed away
We never see them until
We're all drained of everything
Why, why, why me?
Please please set me free

Loss of Innocents

Heaven sent

I asked for a miracle and God sent me you,
I wasn't sure if I was ready but I prepared myself not knowing what to do
You were so beautiful and sweet,
The first time I laid eyes on you, you swept me off my feet,
Every time you looked at me all I could do was smile,
You are the best thing that happened to me you will forever be my child,
I loved the sloppy kisses you gave me and all the great big hugs and all,
Out of all of god's creations you were the greatest thing of all
You can do anything you want to my love only if you try,
I don't want you to struggle every day just to get by,
There is so much to do here and so much to see,
Don't waste your time here it's not promised to you and me,
Don't ever lose yourself always stay real,
You will go through things and you may not know how to deal,
But follow your heart my child and it will show you the way,
But always remember that sun shines after the rain.

Lost

Where am I from?
Nowhere, I guess.
I feel lost,
Very, very lost.

I feel I am not from here,
Nor from there.
I feel lost, very lost,
Knowing not where am I from.

I am very confused.
Probably if I only close my eyes,
Very, very tight,
I will realize where I am from.

Maybe if I sing,
I will understand where I am from.
Could I figure it out by
Drawing or sewing, maybe drawing?

If only someone could help me
Or, should I say will help me?
Understand how I feel,
And realize where I am from.

Not from here,
Not from there,
Not from over there.
Then, where am I from?

Love

Love is not the answer to every problem in life.
Sometimes it puts us in tune with bad relationships
so that often we do not talk in certain situations.
Because from our standpoint the outlook is hopeless,
but nothing is impossible with just talking it out.
No heart is so broken that it cannot be fixed.

Love

This is patient, this is kind
I express this with you in mind
You fill me with this like I fill this picture
It makes my heart flutter quicker and quicker
This feeling you burden me with,
So wonderful, unfortunate at the same time
I express this with you in mind
Yes you, the one who seems so holy
Oh my dear true love
If only, if only

Love

I loved you before,
I loved you after.
I love you now,
And I'll love you forever.

Love's Language

Conversations about everything
Not that any of them are important
Yet they take place anyway
Conversations about everything
Except small talk of love interests
Mostly joking about each other
Cracking up about everything
Not that anything is funny
Yet we laugh anyway
Cracking up about everything
Except the jokes about suicide
Mostly about people we know
Smiling about everything
Not that everything is great
Yet we smile anyway
Smiling about everything
Except for hurtful teasing
Mostly from other guys
Thoughts about everything
Not that any of them are important
Yet they take place anyway
Thoughts about everything
Except school and family
Mostly taking place after other thoughts
Wishing about everything
Not that they'll ever come true
Yet we wish anyway
Wishing about everything
Wishing I had you...

Loving You

To the tears that I cry
To the days that go by
I'll still love you forever
From the days that we spent
And the places that we went
I'll always misses us being together
For lovers everywhere
And happiness in the air
You are the one for me always and forever!
I can sit here and cry
And try to say goodbye
But I will always love you forever and ever!

M

Man

I do not understand this thing that god calls man
Confusing yes they are
Like they say women are from Venus and men are from Mars
We rarely understand each other; we have our own ideas
But usually we are the ones who end up crying all the tears
When they hurt us they expect us to take them back with open arms
Why do we always fall for their unbelievable witty charm
So in conclusion I say this because I can
I do not understand this thing god calls man

May I Pretend?

May I pretend?
That I'm not a girl
And for one moment
Be taught how to fly
I've spent so long
Digging for air
I'm tired of yearning
I need to feel!

May I pretend?
That men look in my eyes
That they see my soul?
That they see my mind?
May I lie to myself?
And lie to the world?
Stand shoulders straight
Proud, not demure!

May I pretend?
That I am not frail
That my yearnings and hopes
Are moving and real
May I pretend?
No? I may not?
If the world cannot change
My yearnings must

I must learn to talk of other things
Boys, and make-up
I must obsess about romance novels
But still
In my dreams
I may pretend

Burning epiphany

Meant For You

With everything I've got, I hold back the tears.
With everything I am, I press on.
But with all of me, I miss you.
And with all my heart, I love you too.

My Baby

I'm sad
And depressed
How could he do this
He doesn't see
What he's doing to me
Why should he, I guess
I should stay out of his business
But it's hard cause I care
So I sit and I stare
Just thinking of him
And how I want to be there
But he won't let me in
He says he'll be fine
Just that he needs time

My Heart

My heart. It is the most valuable thing I own. It is my counselor, my compass and the voices in my head that tells me the truth.even if I don't want to hear it. My heart... It keeps me going and equipped to face life's obstacle and stresses.
Also, it is the element that endures my pain and consoles me in times of need.
It gives me perseverance and strength when forfeit becomes my only option.
My heart. It bears the keys to the deep, overflowing oceans of secrets, memories and sacred love that are etched in me forever.
This rich vessel of life that beats precisely within me is the primary element that makes me believe and have faith in the higher power.
Although this heart of mine is very fragile and vulnerable to certain things, it is indeed, mostly strong and brave when I need it to be.
Oh heart, heart, heart. You are the keeper of my sane soul and joyful memories. You withhold my integrity and dignity. You are my best ally and comrade went odds are stacked up against me and you shall remain adjacent to me for the rest if my life.

My Hopeless Crush

Standing in the shadows
Listening to the music play
Staring at the dance floor
Wishing you would come and talk to me

I'm walking down the hall
And I see you standing there
And I see the girl you're talking to and I want to scream and yell:

Come on over
Speak to me
Can't you move in closer?
I just want to be with you --
To speak to you.

N

No Love

No one can love me,
Everyone can hate.
People can say they love,
But they don't know what love is.
Love can be the most powerful feeling,
But it can also be the most powerful pain.
Love isn't marriage,
Love isn't a ring.
Love is honest and true,
Love is me and you.

No More Looking

Well, all she really wants is to be happy,
All she really wants is some attention from someone who loves her
And attention from him as well
Love to her can be a very beautiful, powerful and at times meaningless word,
For her this word has been used on her once and is being used on her now.
Being used on her once was just out of curiosity I guess
Used by a not so matured young man for a very matured young woman
All she is doing is looking for that right person that can be her best friend
when she needs him to be,
Not like her mother or her girlfriends (friends)
But someone who she can open up to emotionally and someone she can cry to.
Not only that but someone she can listen to and someone she can learn from
She wants someone who she can grow to love.
Most of all in the near future, she wants a family of her own,
She wants to marry the man she loves
Who is also the man who loves her back.
She wants a man who's gonna be there for her without a doubt, and yes she knows she's found that person and wants to be with him forever...
And be happy, without any dull moments
Well, maybe a few.

No Room

Do you care for me?
Do you cry for me?
Are you there for me?
You could never be!
You could always try,
But it never was,
Meant for you,
And meant for me,
Together.

Not On My Own

When will I have the chance to fall,
If you never let me stand?

When will I have the chance to see,
If you always cover my eyes?

When will I have the chance to live,
If you keep me behind closed doors?

But ...

When I stand up,
will you support me?

When I see,
will you help me understand?

And when I live,
Just let me live!

O

On My Mind

Yesterday I went walking in the rain
but all I could think about was you
how you made me laugh
how we always would fight
but we would always make up
and love each other for the rest of the night

That day is gone
and the sun shines brightly
but that doesn't mean I think of you lightly
you're always on my mind
I'm trying to forget
but the fact that you're gone
is making me sick.

I know I messed up
I can't take that back
but not being able to love you
is something I lack.

You're pretty much gone
I watched you go
but you need to hear something
I thought you should know
I am still in love with you
this is what I want you to say.
But I don't hear it now
or any other day.

You have moved on
my time has passed
so make sure this next girl
will be a blast
So please don't forget me
and always be good
be careful and know
the way this girl acts
is the way a good girl should

Once a Carefree Girl

A carefree girl,
So young inside.
Lost her home.
Then lost her pride.
To protect herself,
Feelings had to go.
Put up on a shelf,
Never to be known.
Once a carefree girl,
Now so far from home.

One Happy Imperfection

I wished for the perfect life
I wished for the perfect man
I wished to be the perfect wife
I wished for the prefect tan
I wished for the perfect body
I wished for the perfect brain
But I've found I'm still the same
I wished for the perfect skin
I wished for the perfect job
When I didn't get the life I planned I began to sob
I sobbed for four straight years
Until I couldn't blame
Those who made me not perfect
And why I'm still the same
Then I began to ask what is the perfect life, who are those perfect people
What makes a perfect wife
Are they a certain color, gender, name, or size
Where are these perfect people, what don't I realize
Then a thought crossed my mind and I began to think
There are no perfect people
There are no perfect things
Perfect should not used
When talking about human beings
Then I began to understand
I never needed the perfect life
I never needed the perfect man
What I needed was to be happy
The happiest I possibly can
I needed to live my life and become who I'm meant to be
I needed to be brave and to let others see, others just like me
That nothing is ever perfect and nothing ever will be
This changed my life completely and I hope it will for you
I wished for the perfect life
I wished for the perfect man
I wished to be the perfect wife
I wished for the perfect tan
I wished for the perfect body
I wished for the perfect brain
The only thing I wish for now is to stay the same
One happy imperfection

One Memory of One Day

I try to see my best
When I feel my worst
I always take the test
When I feel I'm about to burst
I always bite the bullet
When I'm in trouble
When I have a bad mullet
I wish I were a double
I can't see why I was
Conceived so mature
When I started wearing sweaters with fuzz
I was clouded by my future
I wanted to go to Harvard
And become a corporate lawyer
And live on a boulevard
Like Tom Sawyer
I wanted to get married
To the man of my dreams
It will be exciting and scary
And will never break at the seams
I wanted to have three kids
Austin, Jessica, and Peter
There will be no buds on my big old tree that's cedar
It grows in my front yard
Of my two-story white house
We did it, yes it was hard
But we stuck together, my spouse and me
We'll grow to be old
And want to live on
But truth be told
This is our song

One Second Too Late

Tuesday morning, 3:40 am
A fatal accident with lots of red
An omen? A warning?
My questioning
Sounded an alarm inside my head

Driving along double solid lines
You were headed for the dawn
But the sun never gave a notice
That the end was about to come

Horizontal skid marks to the ditch
Brought a silence and a twitch
A broken windshield, a thousand parts
Resemble the assortment of the stars

It only takes one second to collide
One second before the pain
One second tackled your life
Just one second too late

I am panicking
I am pacing
I am tied down in my mind
You are quiet
I am crying
There's no sign that you're alive

But I'm sitting right aside of you
Just like every other morning
Why can't it only be us two?
I can hear the angels calling

I saw the blood descending
Like the people you had hurt
I know how bad you wanted life
You didn't see what it was worth

Tugging on your jacket
Said I'd do all it takes
And when your silence took my breath
I Looked above and prayed

You deceive me, stranger
They say that you are dead
I can almost hear these words I hunger
They are fiery, scarlet red

Remember me from yesterday
I still see your smile
I won't cry my life away
But I'll miss you for a while

Our Love

These feelings I have
for you within
somehow still become
my only sin.

Though time has moved on
and we've moved apart,

The thought of you remains
deep in my heart,
and still to this day.

I remember the past
when days with us
still use to last.

But years have passed
and days gone by.
I still can't seem
to get you off my mind.

I love you today
but more tomorrow
because what we've shared
will never be forgotten.

This is dedicated to my first love Thomas G.

P

Pain

Pain is what you gave me!
The pain is what I wanted you to feel!
After I did what I had to do to be proud!
I hope you feel the pain I had!
Though you won't cry,
You will probably bitch and fuss!
I still want you to feel all the pain in your
Cold black heart!
You said you loved me.
When you only loved yourself!
You know its true, boy!
You ain't no man yet,
So stop saying you are.
You won't be till you feel the pain that you gave me,
All of it.

Part 2 - Twenty Five Years

Twenty-five years ago, two hearts united as one.
You were mine and I was yours.
I remember the love we had, a love so pure of heart that we nothing in the
World would ever keep the two of us apart. I remember you saying you would love me until death do us part.
I cherished you and your heart and loved it when you called me your
sweetheart.
You were my beautiful white bride, and I was your husband you said you would
love for all time.
But as so many people do,
Our wonderful family is split in two.
For the power of our love has died, our hearts that use to beat as one, is
Something that can no longer be remembered, to us it is nothing but a distant
memory.
Our family is no longer a whole, but is now an empty soul.
Twenty-five years gone, twenty-five years slipped away, but still my heart
Longs for you and wants nothing more than for you to stay.
Twenty-five years before, twenty-five years later, and we may never find
Another, quite as good as when we use to belong to one another.

Perfect

The one I love,
Is so cute and daring.
His eyes are like the moon,
Shining on me all day.
He's the one I think about,
He's the one I love.
When he's near,
It's heaven on earth.
When we dance,
We dance on clouds.
The main thing is,
My love is true.
Never to stop.
If we break,
We'll still be together,
Forever.

Life and Love

Life is painful,
Love is too.
If only you loved me,
The way that I love you.

Please

Please tell me what I did wrong
And what I can do to make it right.
I don't want to lose you like this
Because of our little fight.

I love you so much honey
And I care about you too.
Please don't do this to me,
I won't be able to live without you.

I know that we aren't perfect
I know we are far from.
But please listen to me baby
And don't do something so dumb.

I know that you will regret this
I've made this mistake before.
You will be fine for a while
Then you'll need me even more.

I know things aren't good right now
But I promise they will get better.
You will not be able to see this
Unless we stick together.

Without you I'm nothing,
Not even a speck of dust.
I need you to be with me
And that is a must.

We've had bad times and good
But less of the bad.
Please let's make some more good,
Instead of some sad.

I'd do anything for you,
I'll love you forever.
But please baby please,
Never say never.

You will always be mine
In my soul and my heart.
Just please think things over
And don't let us part.

You will always have my heart
And with you it will stay.
I don't want you to give it back
Keep it with you everyday.

I love you honey,
I always will.
Even if we are apart,
I will love you still.

Promise

You said we'd be forever,
You said it would never die.
How could you love me and leave me,
And never say goodbye?
How do you bring back,
Something that is gone?

R

Rainbow

If I could catch a rainbow I would do it just for you
and share with you its beauty on days you're feeling blue
If I could build a mountain you could call it your very own
a place to find serenity a place to be alone
If I could take your troubles I would toss them in the sea
but all these things I'm finding are impossible for me
I cannot catch a rainbow nor build a mountain tall
but let me do what I know best
Be a friend that's always there

Rainbow

In the new beginning
Of another day
After the evil of night has gone
And the frightness
Of a mourning storm of thunder has passed
There lay a painting across the sunkissed sky
A painting of happiness and hope
A painting that can only be seen
By the lively fairies of the misty forest
Noneother can witness such a vibrant radiance
Of true beauty
Of true life
That is seen high above the tallest trees and thickest clouds
In streams of colors of every kind
"We shall call it a rainbow
For it comes after the rain
While the mist is still fresh
In the midst of the sky."
But this rainbow will not last long
For as quick as it appears, it is gone
To never return until the next storm
Until the mourning thunder has ended
And the last raindrop has fallen from the sky
"Oh beautiful rainbow, we wait for your return"

Remember When You Used to Call Me Baby

If twenty years from now
I appear as only an illusion
from the past,
please promise me one thing.

Remember when you used to call me baby?
How we would walk aimlessly
on the blazing summer days
with no intentions but to see each other?
All I needed was to feel your tender touch
against my bare skin.
Talking that never ended,
since we bonded so well,
and you would tell me your secrets
and I would tell u mine.
It was like a dream,
a billion people must have passed by.
I was unaware of their presence,
or simply lost in the beauty of your eyes.

Finally our lonely departure
that bright red stop sign
on the corner.
My first real kiss.
My first real love.
And I could walk forever just to be with you.
So please remember Baby
the days when nothing got between us,
and love was our only excuse,
'cause I always will.

Rhythmic Passion

Let your body feel the fire
Underneath your dancing shoes
It's a time to let yourself go
There's no way you're gonna stop

Can you feel the rhythm burning
As you throw away your worries
Unlock the door to liberation
Taste that passion's juicy nectar

Don't give pessimism a chance to ruin your night
Get down to business, could I get a witness?
Simply dig up your sweet sensations
Strike a pose and shake off those vicious opinions.

S

Sadness

Sadness has taken over me
I just want to please
Is this enough
Am I so tough?
Is my life just a song
In which everything goes wrong?
Sadness with tears
Sadness for fears
Sadness is not an all for one
Isn't this just a pun?
For all the fun
Not just a pun
Love is not what I need
Love is just what I see
For fears are here
And
Fears are there
My fears seem to be everywhere
I turn one way then another
I don't walk with the pack or with others
Sadness and love share a bond
It seems as if my life is in a frog's pond
Love is to wait
As sadness is to hate
But nothing says I love you like love itself
When I see you thinking about stuff it makes me wonder about my health
Sadness has taken over me
I just want to please
Is this enough
Am I so tough?
All this sadness has taken over me

Shattered Breakdown

A heart swollen, enlarged, throbbing, pounding.
Splitting in two.
So much so that the entire
Body is shaking with such intensity
It seems that the body
Will completely shatter
And soon fall to the floor.
In a tortured, sighing
Pile of rubble.

Shattered Comfort

No love inside these hollow bones
Restrained by numbing cuffs
Everything that I amount to
Can never be enough
Search for a path with endless options
Everywhere you turn
You're the one who doesn't see it
'Cuz it's you that don't fit in
Jagged thoughts invade my house
Addictions crowd my mind
Liquid youth streams out your mouth
My eyes ingest your strife

Decorations of the sickness / breathing down your neck
Lacerate the stream of life that envelopes respect
Drain out all reality and make my lungs collapse
Analyze your alibis and smash the words you lack
Promises are scattered / into the starlit weave
Get away you can't be near me / I'm hesitant to breathe
Won't buy insignificance / scars engraved so deep
But once I'm near you / I can't seem to / find the strength to leave

Interruption rides on comfort / guiding my blind hands
What causes me to make mistakes / and repeat them once again
Betrayed by the constant lingering /of backbreaking memories
But loss of instinct /wrestles friction /dehydrates actuality

Don't look at me with moistened eyes

Turn your guilt away

The memories are crystallized
Your picture / torn and frayed

Shy Girl

The girl's too shy to look you in the eye
Too shy to think or speak.
But as you walk by she starts to get uncomfortable and sometimes even weak.
You give her the eye and she gives you a smile
But as time goes on you know you'll forget about her in a while.
For she is the shy girl who will never be given a chance to shine . . .
For she can barely look you in the eye.

Sigh...

It's gonna be a long weekend
Without one-o'clock in the morning phone calls,
Without jabbering on and on about meaningless things...

My room's gonna be real empty
Without the picture of you and me.
We're holding each other.
I thought I would never let go.
That's the way it used to feel.

It's hurts like a handful of needles,
Jabbing at my heart.
I'm trying...
I'm crying...
You're lying...

It's hard for me
Taking different paths to avoid you.
I'm breaking as I remember how I
Used to follow you everywhere,
You took me to a new place,
A magical place,
A better place.

Oh, it's different
Without a hug,
Or a kiss,
Or a note,
Between classes.

It's gonna be difficult
Returning a torn picture
And a few stuffed animals,
Notes that once made my heart jump,
And now make it sink.

And of course,
My promise ring.
That beautiful, beautiful ring with
Glistening diamonds...

It's complicated
Explaining this story to everybody who asks.
I respond with every emotion inside me,
Telling them how you dumped me
For another girl...
For a different girl...
For a better girl...

And then they'll give me a hug,
Saying they're sorry.
And while they hold me in their arms,
They'll say it's okay,
I shake my head no.
They hold me even tighter,
My tears flow even faster,
And I close my eyes...

Sigh...

Sitting in the Dark

Sitting in the dark and no one noticing you,
Not even knowing what to do,
Seeing everyone playing,
Not being able to do the same,
Seeing how my breath is getting shorter every day,
Not knowing what to do,
Or who to share it to,

Not being able to do what everyone else does,
Not being able to breathe,
Not being able to run,
Jump,
Not being able to be normal,
And that's why I'm in the dark,
Lonely in the dark,
Crying in the dark,
Thinking in the dark,
Praying in the dark,
And not able to come out of the dark ...room.

So-called Best Friend

How do you know you have a best friend?
They're supposed to be there for you no matter what till the end
But now I don't know who to trust
Because my best friend just messed it up between us
She tried to get with my boyfriend
Now that's a broken friendship I don't think I can mend
I feel much hurt inside
I spent a whole night trying to dry my eyes
And now she still expects me to be her best friend
Well, she has another thing coming because this friendship has come to a screeching end
I'm not going to treat her like dirt under my feet
Because I know I wouldn't want anyone doing that to me
But as for telling her all my secrets and stuff
She is just another aquaintance, a person I cannot trust
So if you have a best friend make sure you watch them closely
Because you don't want to end up best friendless and lonely

Something Never Noticed but Forever Gone

When you have something
You will never notice its value
And take it for granted
Once its gone, its image in your
Mind stays stuck like a photograph
With tape.
The memory is the photograph
But the emotions within can be the tape
Once the emotions die down, the
Tape will slowly unpeel

Sometimes

Sometimes in the dead of the winter
When the snow is piled high
And the sun is sparsely there

Your heart feels as cold
As the icicles drooping from the lonely branches
You feel overtaken
Like the thin strips of grass
Hidden beneath the layers of snow

Sometimes in the heat of summer
When the sun beams
And the cool water is a delicacy

Your mind feels swelled with nothings
As you lie in the swarming heat and uncooling breezes
You feel short of breath
In the drooling humidity as you pray for a gust of wind

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel like crying but the tears just don't come out.
Sometimes I feel like moving but my legs don't move about.
Sometimes I want to talk to you but you just walk away.
Sometimes I feel like loving you and then you take my heart away
Sometimes you keep it
Sometimes you throw it back
Sometimes you just use me and I don't know why
Just trying to take my friends to the sky
Then not even a glance as you pass by.

Stole

That night is a blur,
The night of a robbery.
You stole my will,
You stole my pride.
The night was dark,
Four people alone.
A talk led to,
A thief.
I cried and cried,
But no one would help.
You stole my will,
You stole my pride.
That I can't get back,
No matter how long it takes.

Stop Frontin'

know I said I was through
And that I've never been one to hang on to old memories
But you're tempting me
I don't see you often, but when I do
My heart gets to coughin' and sputterin',
like flutterbys, I mean, the butterflies in my stomach start tumblin'
Mumblin' confidences so I don't falter when you come into my sight
Tryin' to be polite, sexy, coy, hard to get
When I hit the next corner, man, you're hard to forget
Can't believe you're makin' me sweat, and thinkin' backwards, like go, ready, set...
It's already set in my mind that you still mean somethin'
Maybe I should step to you and stop frontin'...

Stranger

We sit down to watch an imaginary person on screen.
We laugh and talk,
And whisper and lean.
But I do not know you
For I don't know your name.

We laugh at the sight that we see;
You hand finds a comfortable place on my knee;
My hand finds yours.
Do I really want to play this game?
I do not know you
For I don't know your name.

You kiss my hand
Like an old polite gentleman,
You kiss my arm leading to my neck,
I sit there wondering what I see on the screen.
But I do not know you
For I don't know your name.

You look into my eyes
For the first time that night.
I thought you were an adorable sight.
You lean in, we kiss, by the light of a screen.
I sit back in my seat,
Thinking how that was a treat.
And now I'm smiling a mile wide
So you see, there is nothing left for me to fear
For now I know your name.
You're not a stranger to me anymore.

Surreal Love

Rose petals followed by candles
Sweet words of encouragement
"Real" emotions expressed with passionate love
Fairytale romance whispered in my ear
A king and a queen
A he and a she
Forever worshiping each other
Crying for each other
Not afraid to let the world see "surreal love"
Unbelievable yet so realistic
Two hearts beating only for their other loved one or "crush"
Surreal romance
If only I had the chance

T

Take A Chance

She sits all alone
No one cares no one notices
She's hurt at home.

She comes to school with bruises and fright
Like she's been crying all night.

She still stands strong
But no one knows what's wrong.
One day she doesn't come back.
She's been gone way too long.

We think her whole world went black!

I come to school the next day
Someone says she was attacked
Her death bumped our whole lives off track.

She was strong until the end
We all knew her we just didn't want to be her friend.

Take chances put trust in someone you don't know
Instead of just going with the flow!
Stand out be original take a chance
And ask her to dance.

The Blood Stains On The Wall

The blood stains on the wall
Are only visible by me,
Because you ripped my heart out,
And tore it into three.

As I sit here all alone
As I sit here crying,
I try to think why you would do this,
And why you were only lying.

Why would you say, "I love you"
If it wasn't really true?
I was always planning that
You'd say to me, "I do."

You didn't hurt me in a physical way
But, yet emotionally
That's why the blood stains on the wall
Are only visible by me.

The One

Hazel eyes, brown skin, tall, funny,
Gorgeous
Yeah, he the one that I love
The one that lets me know I'm the only girl he'll love
The one that brightens my day when the clouds don't go away
The one that shares his deepest thoughts with me
The one that cares for me and lets me know he'll fight my darkest fears
I've never loved anyone like him before
He's the one that I love, the one that I adore
The one that talks to me late at night, the one whose voice drifts me to sleep
I love you boy, and don't you ever forget
And I want to spend the rest of my life with you

The Secret World

She's alone
Always sad
In a secret world
Not bad
Cries all night wishing to die before morning light
Away from others
The crying's stopped
She's in her secret world
A tight box
Laughing and enjoying life
This secret world CAN'T be TORN apart!

The Smiling Child

The boy who stands across the street each day,
He makes me smile when I am so sad.
His cute little face, and the things he'll say,
How can such sweet boys grow to be so bad?

He stands on the street begging for money,
He never does anything but smile.
The people think he is way too funny,
So he just gets cash once in a while.

When he does get money though, his face glows.
His hands are so small, but his ears, so big.
He's a happy boy, and I know it shows.
If he were sad, I would show him a jig.

What a happy girl he could make me be.
He came over to play today with me.

They Are Not You

Condemned to be just a face in the crowd
Admiring the few that are able to stand out
Middle-class citizen is what I'll achieve
No different then others standing by me
Going unnoticed or remembered I'll die
Standing alone, unable fly
Forgetting all dreams of what I might do
Forgetting the truth...

THEY ARE NOT YOU!

Time

Time wastes life away,
So we cannot waste our time today
Walking a beach hand in hand,
Journeying though the soft white sand
Foot prints behind us washing away
Just like the time spent together today
Forever it will be in our memories,
But our time here on earth will soon end
So enjoy it we must
While hearts still beat inside of us
And worry about the rest as it comes
So let us be together today
As time wastes away
And worry about life down the road.

Timid

I must admit I'm a little timid
To let you in my heart
Don't know if I'm quite ready
For the on-going pain to start
I hardly even know you
Although I've been with you before
But since the time when we broke up
There's been broken hearts galore
I've let all these guys shatter my hopes
Of ever finding "That Special Guy"
And it's probably all because
I gave all the heartbreakers a try
Each one has told me lots of things
That sounded pleasant to my ears
But each time the good news came about
It was always followed by endless tears
Maybe I'm just way too gullible
Maybe I fall for guys too fast
But it's hard to forget or even change
All the things that happened in the past
So if you really want me in your life
Please don't do the things they've done
And maybe for once I'll have hope
That I'll find that special one

True Meanings

Popularity, fashion, love
Is this the meaning of life?
Do we wait for our fate on the wings of a dove?
Setting and thinking, wishing your wishes,
saying it will never happen,
Never stopping to say it might.

What do we want the meaning of life to be?
What does life mean to us?
Can't you see?
Is it the way we want it?
People say it must!

The real meaning is quite sappy
despite want you want it to be
life depends on if you're happy
life depends on if you're free

Twenty Five Years

Twenty-five years ago, two hearts united as one.
You were mine and I was yours.
I remember the love we had, a love so pure of heart that nothing in the
World would ever keep the two of us apart. I remember you saying you would love me until death do us part.
I cherished you and your heart and loved it when you called me your
sweetheart.
You were my beautiful white bride, and I was your husband you said you would
love for all time.
But as so many people do,
Our wonderful family is split in two.
For the power of our love has died, our hearts that used to beat as one, is
Something that can no longer be remembered, to us it is nothing but a distant
memory.
Our family is no longer a whole, but is now an empty soul.
Twenty-five years gone, twenty-five years slipped away, but still my heart
Longs for you and wants nothing more than for you to stay.
Twenty-five years before, twenty-five years later, and we may never find
Another, quite as good as when we use to belong to one another.

Two of a Kind

She and I have similar blood types,
But different personalities.
Same taste in clothes, accessories, food, and sometimes guys.
We like them buff, a cute smile and friendly.
In front of our eyes, a boy walked by.

Two girls and one guy.
One would fantasize,
The other would flirt.
One would watch and observe,
The other would talk and laugh.

Then we finally confessed words, we couldn't explain.
But unfortunately, both he didn't feel the same.
Time passed us by, with no luck in our eyes.
We both moved on, when finally the past decided to shine.

Trying to pull us down under,
With his smooth words,
And irresistible smile.
Teasing and trying to push his way through our arms,
But this isn't a 2 for 1 game.
We moved on, it's too late.
Sorry you lost your game!

Two Years Wondering What If ...

2 years pass me by
2 years of pain
2 years of tears
2 years wondering
what would have been if you and me had never said good-bye
I wonder if we would have had a perfect life
I wonder if these 2 years that passed me by
would have been filled with love and happiness . . .
Well, all there is left for me is to wonder what these 2 years
would have brought me
All I know is that
I LOVE YOU THE SAME WAY I DID 2 YEARS AGO

TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE CHRIS R***

U

Untitled

Tears gently fall to the floor
Tears come down just thinking of you.
I can't stop thinking of you
I try and try but nothing works
I know our love is no longer
And we are done forever
But I would do anything
To see you again
To feel your warm skin against mine
To feel your lips against mine
I would do anything for the moments
We once shared together
But I know it is all over now
You love her, that's what you told me
I hope you two are happy together as I once was . . . if I only saved all the tears
I've shed for you I would drown her in them to be with you again . . .

Untitled

It's hard for me
Because I want to be
Your sunshine
I want you to be mine
But I'm shy
So I just lie
To myself, to my friends, to you
I don't have a clue
How to get to you
I wanna talk
Face to face with you
But how can I
When I'm so shy
I truly love the way you make me feel
It's something real
Something only you can give

Untitled

I am untitled
Unlabeled and anonymous
Observing from a distance

I am a mystery
One more author
Wandering the net
Under the guise of "Miss Anonymous"

I have been
"miss"placed by myself
It is interesting
To observe from the sidelines
To be, in a sense, invisible

You can see and hear and feel and taste
But you do not
Necessarily exist

So call me "Anonymous"
Because I know
I am far less anonymous
Than you will ever be!

Untitled

Okay, so this is my poem:
Falling
Falling in
And falling out
Of love
Of life
Of rhythm
Of light
Of darkness
Lying and dying
Running and shunning
Smiling
Dreaming
Falling into
A wild whirlwind of chaotic
Lives and deaths
And nightmaring and dreaming
Falling and
The everlasting question still remains
When-if-where will I land?
I don't know
And I'm still falling

Untitled

Thoughts...can't sleep

I'm bummed
Don't want to go to bed
Can't sleep...
Too many thoughts
Runnin' through my head

Thinkin' 'bout me and you
All the stuff you said
The things we went through
How I meant nothin' in the end

You made me feel like number one
The flowers, the notes
You were so much fun

All the laughs, especially all the jokes
You said you loved me
But that was just a hoax

One minute you want a kiss good night
When I said no you said sleep tight
The next day you said I love you
And before I leave you decide we're through

Make up your mind
I told you
I wasn't tellin' you
What to do

I gave you a while
You reassured me
And gave me a smile

It didn't last but 10 minutes
Then you called
And my smile was gone
With the first sentence

We never had time to talk
When things got tough for you
You decided to walk

You made me feel
like I had failed
That it was MY fault
you wanted to bail

I don't get it...
What did I do?
Was it me...
Or was it you?

Untitled

it starts with one question
yes ... or ... no
eager to say yes out of curiosity
but slightly alerted of the consequences
the appeal is so beautiful
the result deadly ... or is it?
there is a one out of ten chance for survival
how were you infected?
a lovesong, fake propaganda
when are you expected to break down
killing me softly
what is the poem about?
it depends on your perspective of poetry
your love for writing

Untitled

when it's back to school
it isn't cool you have kids
making fun of you just
because you're different
I'm going to middle school
and back in my old school
kids picked on me because
but it doesn't matter who
picks on me because I'm
the mirror and you're the reflection
and your words will bounce
back to you

Untitled

Happy Valentines Day, Oh Valentine's Day, Happy Valentines Day
So filled with bows, ribbons, and hearts
Hearts
With chocolate candies and sweet tarts
And beautiful roses by the dozen
Flowers And Hearts
With wives rushing home to see their husbands
Oh the pretty colors
Pink, white, and red
And big balloons above your head
Balloons
Hope this Valentine is a Happy Day
Cause with love like ours it will never go away!!
A Flower For Her

Untitled

Do you think I'm weak cause you see these tears roll down my cheek?
If you don't feel the same way like you felt back then
Then tell me now and I won't ask again
You better let me know so I won't hold on to something that's not there anymore
Trust my decision, it's a perfect plan.
Stay true to me and I'll think again
Nobody can replace what we had, but I want to be free from the heartache
you caused me
You say you love me but I don't think it's true.
The only reason why I don't say it back cause I don't want be the fool.
It's just IMPOSSIBLE TO LOVE YOU.

To "06"

Untitled

I'm hurting
Because I've hurt
I've hurt my mother
Even though I love her.

Why can't we converse positively?
Why all of the controversy?

It tears me apart
To argue with my mother
Because she is my heart
And I will always love her.

But it really angers me
For us to fight verbally
And that we both have to be right
So it causes these disputes
That leaves us both uptight.

Guilt cuts me to the root
The root of my very soul
Leaving me void
I am no longer whole
Broken into pieces
Because I can't understand the reason
Of why I can't be slow to speak
And quick to listen
There must be something I'm missing
Something has got to give
Because treating her this way
Makes me feel I don't deserve to live.

I feel so much hostility and animosity towards myself
O God I'm begging you
Please
We seriously need your help
So we won't say what we shouldn't
And think things we usually wouldn't
She already thinks I'm ungrateful
And maybe she's right.

But mother
No matter what we may say or do
No matter what we may go through
I just want you to know
That I'm sorry
And I love you.

Untitled

We started out as friends, then we got close
I gave in out hearts became unified
Knowing someday it would be over
I went willingly

I'm trying to appear strong
You were my first true love and a good friend
Fear was on your mind,
I embraced you with an undying grasp
I still love you

Where are you? You know yourself very well now
My self-involved weakness is pitiful
I swore to be the shinning, shimmering star
I reached out my struggling hand
It feels as if an eternity went by
My heart was beating against my chest

You clenched my hand tightly
I've known you for a year
And our time here
Has come to an end
Why did this happen?

Darkness falls, insanity is being deeply
Embedded into the mind, through these eyes
I envision a cognizant dream like no other
The essence of being alive

Dedicated to Patrica L.

Untitled

As we hold hands, we hold so much more
We hold each other's dreams and desires
We hold the power to help, or to hinder
As we share the sidewalk, we share so much more
We share the love we have for each other
We share a view, a view on life
As we talk, so much more is being said
Through our words, we tell a story
A story of love and compassion
A story of a future so bright
A story of the past and the present
As we hold hands, we hold so much more.

Untitled

I wish that I could keep you
Forever here with me,
So I could be a part of you
And you a part of me.
I think of you at night
And wonder what to do,
If your choice was right
For me and for you too.
I wish that I could change my past
To go back would be my dream,
I hope that this dream can last
To me that would be supreme.
Because of all of these feelings and crazy thought of you
I seem to think that life could be
Revolving around you and me.
You hold the key to my heart,
And forever that will be.
The choices that I made weren't smart,
But maybe you can see
That all I wanted was a friend,
Someone to be there till the end,
Not to judge me for who I am,
Just someone who just gave a damn.
I know I have found this,
Right here, right now
I miss the sweetness of your kiss,
And all the things you would do.
If we don't belong together
Then keep me close to you,
Do this forever and ever
And forever I will do this too.
I don't want to let you go,
I want you here with me
When I'm with you I have a glow,
Can't you tell, can't you see?
I want you to know I'm here,
Even though I know I messed up,
I want you to know I'll always be there,
No matter how much we both mess up.

Untitled

Look at the picture on the wall
What do you see?
A girl -- that is me
I am smiling and laughing with family and friends by my side
So you think, "Gee she is happy!"
But is that all that there is?
You pose for a picture
It is a moment in time
But what happens after the photo is done?
There are no pictures of me on the ground
Weeping and yearning
For someone to be on my side
When you look at me what do you see?
A smling face, large chest, and wavy brown hair
But is that all there is to me?
You cannot know all of me
You cannot go deep inside my heart and see
So before you decide to judge me
Remember there is a lot that you do not see

Untitled

Missing you in everyway
It's pain that won't go away
Caring about what you do and say
Having feelings that won't go away
And memories that will never fade
Every day is new but every day I start out
Loving you!

Untitled

My life has gone
So far away
That one day
I will survive no long

I wish that I
Was a fish
But not one that's on a dish
I no longer want to sigh

I want you to know that
I will always love you
No matter if you're dead
Or alive

In Memory of Jeffery H.

Untitled

Rushing through my veins
Get me mad
I'll prove you wrong
Spit it in your face

Amplified frustration stirs
Far down in my feet
It fuels me to break away
From compunction on the streets

Absorb the rain, I'll keep upholding
Can't take the risk of lying low
Drop by drop, the water's rising
It's not the end, I'll just reload

Push aside through life's distractions
I'll take hold of your reins
Make your thoughts inside run rapid
You will never be the same

Limits are illusions
If you trust that you can last
Makes no sense to shield yourself
So seize the moment fast

Untitled

I close my eyes, hiding behind everything I've ever known
And everything you've ever known about me
You can't see me; I won't let you, as I drift away to a dreamland
Far, far away to another place
I still stand here, my feet cemented to the floor; I cannot move
As you pull me away with just your hands
You're strong and mighty, and your force combines with my weakness
Though you may not know it, I melt when you hold me
And as you embrace me, behind your shoulders I cry
You don't see me as my tears fall
Down, down my face to another place,
A place I have yet to arrive or come.
And as they fall so do I,
I fall for you
Though you don't know it I love you, but this love hurts somehow
It breaks my heart and hides your lies
I still close my eyes and hide, hide the tears, the love, the heartbreak
You ask me if I'm okay; it's obvious I'm not
But I still cry, and fall
Then you call my name and I come running,
Running to your gentle embrace and deceiving words
Back to a place where I belong, and always remain
This place is with you...

Untitled

times of fake fairytales
real as the story meant to be held
past to present feel the blue
kisses love to you
and you ask "what is a dream?"
definition something in mean
of time you soon may feel
what comes before that's
FOR REAL

Untitled

My one and only, you came into my life so suddenly
I wasn't expecting what was coming
I let you into my life
And you were the best thing that ever happened to me
I was so alone, sad, and scared before
But I have those feelings no more.
You filled me with hope, joy, and happiness
You did something I never thought you'd do
You confessed your love to me and cared for me
I opened my heart to you and we formed a bond so strong
So strong that no one could break it
Not god himself could tear us apart.
I loved you and you loved me
But then something came that I could never see
You told me that I was your whole world and that I
Meant everything to you. I felt the same toward you.
You held me so close and tight that night,
That it almost filled me with fright.
I had never seen you so anxious and worried,
But I didn't dwell on it.
I enjoyed the moment when I was in your arms,
Our hearts beating so close together as one.
You whispered, "I love you and always will,"
And kissed my cheek
I felt as if I were floating on a cloud
"I love you too," was all I needed to say.
You knew I felt the same way.
But then that dreaded day came.
When you told me you must go away.
You were leaving that next week.
I was so sad, I could not speak
I didn't sleep those next nights.
I had to many sorrows and frights.
Would you still love me?
Will I see you again?
Will we be together in the end?
Will you keep me close at heart, or will we be
Forced apart?
I was so scared that I cried for hours, listening
To our song.
When that day finally came. Nothing felt the same.
Nothing seemed right.
You held me close once more and I never wanted to
Let go of you.
You are my angel, my beloved, my one and only.
You had become my whole world.
You consumed me and you now hold so much of my heart.
You promised we would be together again.
As I saw you walk away, I just had to stay.
You turned back and we shared one final gaze.
Your face remained in my head for many days.
To this day, in fact, I can still hear your voice
And the warm air of your breath on my ear as you
Whispered those cherished words.
When I said I loved you, that meant forever.
I will keep you in my heart for as long as
Possible and I hope that you will do the same.
Don't ever let us part.
We will be together forever, at heart.
I will never let you go,
Because you are my one and only.

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The things that don't even matter anymore
The things that still go through my head
And sometimes I forget exactly what you said
But the words rest undead inside my head
My heart still pound when I hug you but my
cheeks don't turn as red
Could it be because I'm over you or is it that some things were
left unsaid?
When I'm around you I get a rush inside my head
I'm distorted when I'm with you
And I miss you when you're gone,
But I think its better when we are apart.
My hands are always cold now,
Your hands don't keep them warm
My thoughts are full of you again
Just like they were before
I want to get to know you
I wanna know your smile,
I want to know your every piece of social, mental, and physical style.
You are what I think of every single day, the thing that
I awake for every rising day,
You are my everything
My night, my love, my sky.
With you I will share everything and this I promise you until the day I DIE.

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Parents are the ones we take for granted.
We say things to make them cry but knowing deep down inside we love them with all our heart.
We try to say sorry but sometimes we can't.
It hurts us to be hurting them.
We just get mad and think they are over-protecting us.
We think they're mean to us,
We think they're embarrassing us.
We know good and well they love us, but we still make them cry once in a while.
Parents are the ones that will always have their door open to us!

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Guess jeans
No shirt
Barefoot walking in the sand
Just holding his hand.
The sad thing is I've never met this man.
But he is just so...
Wonderful, amazing
Just gazing in his blue of all blue eyes
And I'm hoping that this night never dies.
Guess jeans
No shirt
Barefoot walking in the sand
And all I want to do is get to know this man
While holding his hand.

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When I gave my hand
I gave my heart
from our first meeting
my love did start

I loved you more
and more each day
engraved in my heart
your name will stay

I'll think about you
all the time
and wish and wish
you were still mine

I know it hurt
when it was true
but I can't help
my feelings for you

I wish that we
were still together
you and me
forever and ever

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I'm holding.
Holding onto life through you.
Holding on strong . . .
Waiting for my cue.
My cue to let go --
My cue to leave.
Will it ever come?
And will I believe?
Believe in myself . . .
To go out on my own.
Can I do this?
Can I stay alone?
Only I can find out . . .
And only I will know.
I'll give you the news --
IF I ever go.

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I know you're worth it
But I can't get what I want to get
Guess I'm wishing my life away
Thinking it would all be okay
I thought nothing could take you away from me
How could this be?
What does she have that I don't
What does she do that I won't?
I held you tight
And it felt right
Day and night
You had a sudden change of mind
You were acting fine and kind
Now you say I'm not good enough
Or maybe this whole thing was just a bluff
Whatever it is I am happy you left