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Poetry 2006 - Sorted By Date

December 2006

A Vision of Us

Soft scratchy sand
Softness of his hand
Salty sea
Rhythmic beat of the ocean tide
The red sunset
Side by side
Ocean licking our heels
Crabs slept
Everthing...
Perfect.

If We Were...

If we were a movie,
you'd be the king,
and I'd be your queen
as the music of love sings.

If we were a flower,
you'd be the stem,
holding me up
and giving me power.

If we were a book,
you'd be the frog
and I the princess,
kissing you in the deep fog.

If we were a piano,
you'd be the unique black keys,
and I the silky white dream,
the music we create is as what it seems.

If we were a heart,
you'd be one half,
and I'd be the other,
never to be apart.

If only we were...

Dearly Departed Yet Unmissed

Know of my face but not my soul
I say you lie
You say I lie
Around the sky
Deepest temptations cannot draw me away
From the darkest times
I cut these ties away
I keep my heart close to my chest
I let no one see my real pain
Don't come any nearer
Stay away from what you fear
Keep apart from what you will never understand
I never gave my soul away it ran away
I never spoke those words

Libby-

Libby Libby is my dog

Scrunched up face yet

SMALL

Writings On A Paper

Writings on a paper
Could never express these feelings
That I share for you
With you

And as I lay here thinking about us
I am looking into his eyes
Wishing it were you
Wanting it to be you

I couldn't get my nerves right
Fighting a battle with myself
On to tell you know how I felt
Or let my mask keep it hidden away

His lips cover mine
Closing my eyes, I dream it is your hands
That wrap around my waist
That caress my swollen lips

Slipping into my thoughts
He watches me
And I think that He somehow knows
That I am no longer his to claim

I could hear his hands pull from my waist
His voice telling me he'll return
But I can tell by his eyes He won't
My heart fills with guilt of loving another

Laying on my bed
I dream of you
Your name echoing on my lips
And then I suddenly remember
That you are lying beside me
Echoing my name
In your dreams

November 2006

Untitled

What do you do when the love of your life comes crawling back

his eyes filled with tears and an empty heart

When he says he loves you
and looks you straight in the eyes

Then all of a sudden he's holding on to you, so tight that it feels as if he'll never let go

But what if you couldn't forgive him, what if his mistake could never be forgotten

Would you be a perfect fool for taking him back, or stupid to let him go

Ability

Ability is to look at a blank page,
And create a poem
Ability is to stare into the eyes of fear
And come out stronger because of it
Ability is to walk into a room of strangers
And come out with friends
Ability is to admit you are wrong
When you are wrong
Ability is to get back up
When you fall down
Ability is to believe
When everything seems lost

Ability - a simple word with a complex meaning
For many, ability is never found, but for all ability is within
Ability stares everyone in the face at one time or another
Whether your ability is how well you shoot hoops,
How well you flip at dancing,
How smart you are in school,
You have ability
For some, ability is lost by trying
Whether never trying to shoot one more time
Never trying to shoot one more time
Never trying to bend a little more
Or never trying to score higher in school

Ability is within
Ability is yours

Untitled

love is like a rose
it wilts before it blooms,

hate is like the wind
speaks lies before the truth

the past is like a iron
it burned then left a scar,

the future is a mystery
hiding who we are

The One

The one who stays up all night to watch you sleep
The one who washes your clothes no matter how much they reek
The one who gives you breakfast in bed when you're sick
The one that will repaint your car even it's just a nick
The one who tells you he loves you every hour
The one who will even get up early to give you a shower
The one who will put his life on the line just to see you smile
The one who cares for you and will never let you go
The one who will go across the world just to find you a single rose.

Open Hills and Obstacles

I break down when everything falls apart in front of me.
I sleep at night meditating about life constantly.
I hold my pride inside hoping somebody can see,
How much it burns my soul and mind thoroughly.

I wish that this pain would go away,
sending my words in to this notebook of everything I wanted to say.
This beat pounds in my head,
with overwhelming emotions and words that they said.

I must be in denial, thinking that this isn't hurting me.
I've never felt so much remorse from the world seeking out desperately.

Untitled

Love has forsaken me
to another place.
It's placed in my mind,
my heart & in my soul.
It's brought passion
to such divine words,
vocalized into a song.

October 2006

Untitled

when we met your words captured me
the same words that made me laugh
soon made me cry the perfect guy is what
I thought but soon I learned you're just
pretend with your lies I guess you thought
you could fool me but you're someone else
whoever you're pretending to be but when it
all came tumbling down for the first time I
realized I didn't know you at all

Untitled

We'll drown in each other
Until the solute dissolves the solvent
Impossible for a million years, yet
A forever seems too short

May I lay here in your heart?
The only four walls that aren't imprisoning
I feel so comfortable, yet
Two forevers seem too short

For every star in the universe
I'll love you another forever
For every tear in the sea
I'll love you another century

Untitled

what is a song to be heard
what is a life for to feel
what is a dream left unsaid
what is what you see

what is these questions you can't
answer one problem that I go through
is that I'm in love with you

what is song
what is a life
what is a dream
what is what

Fashion

Fashion to me is like a shopping spree
Take me to the mall that is all to buy
some clothes and shoes to wear to school but you
took me to some other store, to get some other stuff I once wore, you took me there
every day and told me this is my last day
to me this was my Shopping Spree

Preps

You judge us by the clothes wear.
You judge us by our hair.
Do you even care?
You make us feel like dirt.
It really hurts.
Don't label me!
I'm smart and talented,
You're judgmental and rude.
We come from two worlds,
Yet we all live on Earth.
It feels like I can't get away from you.
I am always thinking of the rude comments you
make.
You have the perfect life.
I can't compete with you,
So just leave me alone!

Words Spilling Out Of A Broken Soul

Like nothing in the world is right

Looking for something to make me whole
While others are filled with sheer delight

Love has been turned to hate
Friendships are being torn apart

Sometimes it feels like no one can relate
Like nothing can mend a broken heart

Frustration and tears are all that appear
And inside I'm trying to forget

Horrible things have happened within this past year
Things that will always be a regret

Emotions spill out
Hope stays within

My heart has been so filled with doubt
But now I know I cant always win

The memories stay with me
And now I really can say

What's meant to be
Will always find a way

Untitled

the thoughts in my mind,
can never be defined,
the misery in my life,
my mom the new wife,
and the "dad" that kept me from being hurt,
is the person I thank the most.
I can't get enough of the tough life.
maybe you could say it's a broken knife,
trying to be fixed,
in my brain . . . stop!
it's getting mixed.
and all the people that surround me every day,
are the people that make me go this weary way.

Untitled

It's more like if a writer has a chance
then letting the words fly across the paper
just memoirs of the well-hidden in the mind
if it's the only night where the sky overturns
then the window can open and let words twist
A writer can pull out their tears and place them
in someone's eyes, so they can feel,
it's more like emotions , yeah something that
can't even be controlled, if its all right then let
the writer react differently toward the pencil
as the eraser doesn't erase the thoughts but
make ideas, that one true serenity that takes
the sky as a whole and places it on paint brushes
If the writer wants something to happen,
maybe like what it all means to the writer,
beat drops, down for the smile, dissappear,
until it's over, outcast, yeah that's more like it,
cause if a writer pretends then there is nothing to act
it's all fake to the world,
more like a painting with no meaning but hiding
behind curtains, yeah it's like the
life of a writer, more like the soul of a writer's life,
something like that

Hidden Weakness

My eyes observe your every move
my law is your demand
My lips dream of touching yours
It's more than I can stand

I can't see what's happening
And you don't have a clue
and the bottom line of it all is
It will never be just us two

I am holding back and hiding
The many things to tell
This has to end before long
My heart can't stay in hell

Disaster is in the air
I soon can't hold my tongue
I can't concentrate but on your smile
I can't locate the meaning upon

Love is never wrong
That's the lesson I've always been told
Does it mean that this isn't love?
Or has the lesson grown old

You will never know
How many tears I've cried for you
My neverending desire,
Is only known by a few

I'm not one to stick around
when problems are without solution
This type of struggle is for me rare
To live with it, seems the only conclusion

Emotions

I am an emotional wreck,
I am lonely,
I feel sad and worry all the time,
I let people tear me down,
I let go of my faith,
I don't wanna be me,
I let people judge me wrongly,
I let myself go and die,
I wanna die,
I don't want to smile at all,
I feel there's nothing to smile about,
I fall,
I throw myself out,
I hang myself every night,
I judge myself wrongly,
I lose my reason for living,
I lose faith in everything,
I am sad that nobody talks to me,
I am sad that nobody is grateful to me,
I am sad that basically nobody likes me,
I let people dress me up as something I'm not,
I let people walk all over me,
I have to say this,
I don't wanna do this anymore,
I don't want to deal with other people's pain,
I am strong because of my weakness,
I am who I am and,
I won't let you make me what I'm not,
I am done with you,
I am saying,
Go find someone else

I Love You

Your eyes are like the Caribbean sea drifting from aqua to green
I try not to remember, but I can't help but to remember that they were the prettiest thing I had ever seen
You just left, without an "I love you" or just a single kiss
All that I really miss
It's been eight months now that you've been gone, and you said that you would be back, and I waited, but you never came
I miss you just the same
Everything I do or say reminds me of you or something we did, and it hurts so bad
Everyone just said that it was a high school crush, but they were wrong
We were together for three years, and we fell in love with one another and now I have everything to remind me of you, but I don't want that, I need you back
But I will always remember you, I still listen to our song and reminisce on all of our good times
But its time for me to end this, just like our relationship ended, I'm done with my rhymes

September 2006

Untitled

Seven days have passed
without love I will never last
soon as all nightlights sigh
please don't leave and forget all
just be gone that's for all
see this very romantic sigh it all just
turned out to be a romantic lie
the next school day he try to be cool
and said, ''being cool is just better than school.''
it soon turned out to be a daydream that is all!

Photograph in Your Hall of Shame

You made me this way
the way I'm not supposed to be
I'll never be the same
because you promised all these things
things you never did
now I'm sitting here alone
in this empty room
full of heartache and despair
just another photograph
in your hall of shame

we were gonna move to Paris
start our lives anew
but just like everything else
you just couldn't come through
you stole my heart and my mind
my money and my life
I could say a million things about you
but I won't
the outside world is going on without you
but when they step in here
it all just stops

All the things I loved about you
came crashing down that day
I guess forever
only meant a week or two
I really want to move on
but I don't know how
I always thought you were the one
but you left my heart in pieces
shattered on the floor
I tried to pick them up
And put them back together
but the pain is just too much

Your friends, they always see me
always stop and stare
but I don't care too much
after all, they're the ones you listened to
I'm just not good enough for them
and you never let your feelings show
I hope you're happy now
and missing what you could've had
but I know I'll always be
just a distant memory
a forever broken photograph
in your hall of shame.

Untitled

The sweet smell of him
Takes their breath away
But they're just jealous cuz
he's going nowhere today

We're going out tonight
Don't try and follow, girls
Cuz you're just jealous of
how he makes your head swirl

You're just jealous
Of how hangs out with me
But don't be jealous
I'll set him free

It doesn't seem like it's working
We don't go together all that great
All I wish is for him to be happy
Not for another lousy date

I'm the jealous one now
Ain't it funny how that works
He's with someone else
But our happiness still lurks

You're just jealous
Of how he hangs out with me
But don't be jealous
I'll set him free

I really start to wonder
If I made the correct choice
I watch him as he lifts his head up
At the sound of my sad voice

He portrays a nervous smile
I hesitate, but smile back
I notice the difference from
What we had and what we lack

I'm just jealous
Of how he's with you
But I won't be jealous
Cuz that's what you used to do

My Memories

I remember all the time we shared
all the laughs all the cries
all of all happiness and all the sorrow

now these memories are all I have

Untitled

You're lost inside
lost inside

oh oh oh

you can't find your place
can't find your place

oh no oh

it's when I look at you
I find that you will never understand

oh oh oh.....

Gift of Humanity

I received a gift of humanity
Of which I can never repay.
Just as God came down
And gave His son away.
I know that I can never forget
The mistreatment of my kind.
Lives have been stolen
But thank God not mine.

Untitled

I try not to stutter when I open my mouth to talk,
I don't want to come off stupid so I usually get up and walk.
It's probably weird to notice and wonder why I do this.
It's because whenever I'm near you I get a little nervous.

What If?

When I think of my life,
I'm glad you're in it.
Though I don't have you by my side,
my feelings I've got to kill it.
You mean more to me,
than you would ever know.
My love you can't see,
and that I'm afraid to show.
I find myself going crazy,
because I feel for you so much.
I've been thinking about you lately,
if I should hold on much longer or what?
It could be easier for me,
if I had never liked you.
I wonder how life would be,
If I had never told you.

Untitled

She won't amount to anything,
At least that's what they say.
And you know that she believes them
Since she hears it everyday.

She tries to work her hardest
and tries to act all tough.
But every night she goes to bed,
Wondering if she should give up.

Things got a little better
Since he walked into her life
But emotions still consume her
She just wants to end this strife.

These are her true emotions
With nothing left aside
But please don't show her pity
Cause she might break down and cry.

My True Love

As sweet as cherry blossoms,
As beautiful as angels above.
You're much more then just a friend to me,
You're my true love.

I cannot seem to show it,
For you have someone else.
Soon I will see you fade away,
And hear your last sentence.

You will be gone forever,
And so you'll never know,
That my love is still for you...
My love which I can't show.

August 2006

A Summer's Dream

watch me fly
into the night sky
I soar so high
through the seven skies
I spread my wings far apart
which is a pretty good start
while I watch the lights go out
in each and every little house
soon I can't see
just hear, smell, and feel
the chirping birds and the flying planes
the fresh cool air and the dripping rain
its so dark but now I see
look, a light!
where am I?
Oh, it was just a dream!

Untitled

Roses are red...um...dead.
Like droplets of tears running down my face,
It' raining.
If only I knew what dreams I had to chase,
I'm growing.
I have to find a way out,
just sprouting.
And I need someone to move this cloud,
it's shining.
Thanks for helping me, in my time of need,
I'm healthy.
This is who I've always planned to be,
I'm happy.
But an obstacle lies ahead,
some fear.
Can you still be overheard,
and here?
You promised to stay close by,
in bed.
But that promise just waved good-bye,
I'm dead.

Life

Life can be scary, life can be green,
Life can be mean, never what it seems.
Life can take charge, life can come,
Life can go round in circles,
It could bother you, hon!
Life can come, life can go,
Life can really make you feel low,
Life is a gift, others may seek,
Life can be given to the strong and the weak.
Life can take hold, life can be cold,
Life will rarely let you do as told.

Lost Dreams

How could you leave
and not say goodbye
I don't even know
is your love still alive 4 me,
It was supposed 2 be ride or die
I was the one you was supposed 2 make your wife
But I guess I've been dreaming
and now I'm awake
still waiting 4 the day
I see your face
And until then
I can never dream again

Untitled

A picture tells a story,
When it's good it'll suck you in.
Imagination, sweet temptation
Can be the sweetest sin,
As the waves are crashing and my heart starts beating faster,
A simple push and one great crash makes a beautiful disaster.
I like to drift away and leave my body far behind,
As my mind becomes free,
Secret treasures I will find.
Good vs. evil in a world full of sin,
I just sit and wonder where all these pictures have been,
To capture the pictures body and soul,
Develop the film on a negative roll.
Light it up and get so high,
Watch it flying colors in the sky,
Love is contagious,
Only time can make it better,
I don't want my heart broken,
So I wrap it in a sweater.

Untitled

As you went through all of this
didn't you feel any pain,
Pain of hurt and love that made you
cry all day.
The pain you call love was broken and shattered.
The heart cried and cried till the tears
wouldn't matter.
And now I stand here without your love
not knowing where we went wrong.
The shattered pieces cut right through me
and ripped me all apart.
I bleed this broken heart
without hate or remorse
but just sadness
that makes me want to fall
and breathe no more.

Life Goes On

Time is going by so fast,
I feel like I'm stuck,
and everyone... is leaving,
far away, where I can't reach them,
moving on with their lives,
and I'm stuck in the same place,
I HATE it!
Life goes on I know...
but facing it,
feels like a dream.

Show Me

Hello gorgeous it's a beautiful day
it's time to wake up and show me the way
tell me to get up because it's not ok to stay
I'm tired of feeling this way
I am useless my hands lack skill
and my life lacks thrill
my heart has hardened over
and time stands still
I have yet to learn the meaning of living
and the goodness of giving
I am tired of taking
and tired of not waking
I want to wake up from this nightmare
show me how to share
I want to cry out I want to love again
I want you to hear my shouts
and my training to begin
my eyes have frozen over and see nothing but cold
my rusty heart grows weak and no longer bold
why can't I taste the beauty of my soul
why can’t I return this life I stole?
I never wanted it in the first place
I never wanted to give up my grace
I had it so good why didn't I see?
I have this one chance
Please show me

Spirit of Imbolc

A spy of winter
That looks in on spring
And leads love into a trap as she sings
When white seems endless
And the mist prevails
Eternity turns to slumber
And the fog becomes stale
Listen to her voice
The haunting sound
Will speak to you when no one's around
Drag you into the shadows
Or reveal you to the light
With open wings
Or panic-stricken might
Let her beauty consume you
And take away what's real
As imagination commands you
And reality is concealed
There is no escaping time
No circumventing pain
She is only in your mind
Which has betrayed you to the insane

From Far Away

You are so beautiful from so far away
You take every step with such grace
Each time I see you, you look better than the last
You're making my thoughts run through me so fast
Standing here you're an angel as far as I can see
But up close you are so different with me
From far away all I want is to be near
Why do you change yourself whenever I am here
From far away you're so tempting
Deathly piercing where you stand
All I know is what I see
And all I see is your radiant beauty
From far away it doesn't look like you're living a lie
But next to you it's obvious you've got something to hide
Why do you act the way you do
When I'd give up all I have to be close to you
I'm tired of you forcing me to wait
I can't keep holding my head on straight
It's your ever-clear atrocity
Your vanity so thin
Your mindless killer instinct
That hides your agony within
Crawling in and out of pores
And pulling apart your skin
I'm watching you fade slowly
With all the sweetness I wish I was in
All your knowing radiation
Is enough to will me mad
Slithering past my emptiness
I wonder why
We always want
What we can't have

Mirror for a Looking Glass

The mirror shows me what I am not to be
But in the mirror is what the world sees
I will never know what I look like on the inside
Why does the mirror always lie
It tempts and it creates
A vision distorted and out of shape
Were we meant to see ourselves in a looking glass
Or merely see with our own two eyes
This vision of me will be my last
Before this piece of glass dies
Unless I see what I want to see
There will only be one perspective for me

It Was You...

It was you who loved me
It was you I asked to the dance
It was you who was there
It was you who I kissed
It was you who had time for me
But it wasn't you that I loved
It was him
It was him who I loved
It was him who really loved me
It was him I married
And him is he who knows me

No End

I try as hard as ever
But you're not satisfied.
Something's always wrong with the way I am,
the way I act, or maybe it's just me.
I thought I was doing okay,
but as always, I was wrong.
Wrong to think you could be pleased.
Wrong to think you'd see it my way,
Just...this...once.
I was just wrong.
I try as hard as I can
to satisfy and please you,
thinking, maybe I'll make you proud.
But that isn't the case, and
I'll learn to deal with the reality
that I'll never have your acceptance,
and you'll never be pleased
I don't see why I try for you or cry over you.
It's just a waste of time and tears.
I need to stop trying and crying,
because I realize now,
there's no end to anything with you.
Because I'll always be me,
and you'll always be you.
But no worries,
I'll finish THIS ONE for you.

Untitled

I am calling, calling now, spirits are rising and falling,
In the depths of lodging,

I am calling, calling now, little girls are having lots of fun,
In a place that has just begun,

I am calling, calling now, the wind is blowing in my face,
the soft cotton is pure white that will never sacrifice.

Untitled

Everytime I see your face,
I'm reminded of the pain.
The pain that was your fault'
that left me standing out in the rain.
You send me flowers,
does it make you feel better.
About what you did to me,
it's hard to forgive.
To forgive someone,
who took the one person you cared about the most away from you.
You were too drunk that night,
and ran a red light.
You walked away without a scratch,
I suffered a few broken ribs,
but Mick,
Mick didn't make it out of the car.
He died on impact,
his best friend killed him.
It's something you,
and I must live with every day.
Yet, though it's hard,
I do forgive you Mark.

Me

Watch the flame die,
watch it grow.
Keep it a secret,
so no one knows.
Keep it hidden,
no one cares.
Learned it the hard way,
always take the stairs.

I can't change,
not even if I wanted to.
Why would I though,
then I'd end up just like you.
Making myself a clone,
acting like a damn clown for your show.
Hah! I don't think so!

I am me,
& I will not change.
I refuse to.
Call me stupid, stubborn, a fool,
alright cool.
But I could say the same things,
about you.

Try & change me,
I dare you.
You'll have a hard case,
on your hands,
let me tell you.
Rome, Vienna, Zurich, and Paris,
I'm still the same.
Just have a different light on life,
so say hello the the girl that I am.
Basically, say hello to ME!!!

I Can't Be With You

I saw you there
wondering if you were looking at me
but this could never be

You would never like me
it would never be
you're to good
for me
and that's the way it should
be

My Message To You

You left me with a pleasant goodbye,
Of saying I love you, and I'll be home soon,
I wish I could jump forward in time,
So I can see your face when it sees mine.
It's hard to know what is going to happen,
Without a thing I can do,
I want to make your life easy,
And I want to make it true.
To sit back and watch you face your fears,
It's hard to see,
But I think I can wait for my time to be.

I just can't see myself without you.
But here I am dazed and confused,
What am I supposed to do?
You're off serving this country,
I'm sitting here wondering,
Wondering when I'll feel your touch,
When your lips on mine,
And even when you hug me for the first time.
But most of all,
I long to hear those words,
The words that we know are true,
You love me,
And I know that I do too.

It's so hard to wake up in the morning,
Not seeing your face,
And the way you always say "Good morning, beautiful."
I'll miss you always playing around with me like brother and sister,
Even though we love each other nothing like that bond.

I don't know what I will do when you're gone.
I don't know how I can stand to be away from you so long,
I can't even sleep when you've been off along.
I waited all night, and I wait all day,
Then those days turn into weeks.
Those weeks turn into months,
And even those months into years.

I miss you so much and I just know that you'll come back,
So we can live happily ever after,
But it seems that you will never be back.
But I always know you will.

You promised to write,
You even promised to send me gifts,
But all I care about is to know is that you're OK,
And that you'll be here to comfort me from the hell I was just through.
I know that you have been through a lot over the past couple years,
And I want to know every thing that went on,
The good, the bad, and maybe even the ugly,
I trust you with all of my heart and I hope you know that,
But most of all I want to know that you're safe,
Safe with me always and forever,
And no matter what anyone wants to think or say,
For better or worse,
Till death do us part,
I'll love you till the end,
With all of my heart.

I wish this were true,
That you're not leaving me blue,
That you're here safe with me,
But that will never be.
It was all a dream,
Many I have alike,
I wake up in the night,
But one thing is true,
It's that I love you,
And always will.

If this does work,
And you come home safe,
I wish us to be together,
And I hope you feel the same.

Untitled

You don't know how much it hurts
to know that
you never loved me
You didn't even care about me

You lied to me saying that you did
but you didn't

I thought you were the one
but you weren't
that it would last for ever
but it didn't

and I know that you knew that I loved you
but it still didn't matter

You still did all those things
with no reason at all
no cause no matter

You never cared about me
and that's what hurts the most

You never loved me
that hurts even more than before

I put my heart on the line for you
you ended up throwing it on the groundvall damaged and broken

My heart was fragile
easily broken

It hurt so much

Do you know what it feels like to be in this much pain?
to be broken?
to be cut up inside?
to cry yourself to sleep?

I guess you don't

so I gave you another chance
I changed my mind

I broke your heart
It's what you deserve

Its called KARMA

Like you see people change
And feelings fade

Now do you feel my pain?

Life

And she won't amount to anything,
At least that's what they say.
And you know that she believes them.
Since she hears it everyday.

She tries to work her hardest.
and tries to act all tough.
But every night she goes to bed,
Wondering if she should give up.

Things got a little better.
Since he walked into her life.
But emotions still consume her.
She just wants to end this strife.

These are her true emotions.
With nothing left aside.
But please don't show her pity.
Cause she might break down and cry.

Just Another Girl From The Hood

I'm not bad
I'm not good
But I'm not just another girl
Not from proper
Not from a jail house
Not a spontaneous girl either
But I'm just right
Ask my friends
Ask my mother
My father
My sister
My brother
But I want to ask you
What are you going to them for
They can't tell you anything
I know it's crazy
I know it sounds crazy
But only
I can tell you
Who I am
What I am
Or how I am
I'm not good
Not bad
Nor happy
Even sad
I'm just right
'Cause I grew up
'Cause I grew up
One more time I grew up just fine
Not from a penny or a dime
'Cause I'm not proper
Nor Understood
But I'm just another girl
Yep
Just another girl from the hood.

Rose Bud of Love

The rose bud is nothing but a light touch
Can cause it to bloom faster while it blushes.
Causing it to see the morning sun
For what it truly is and how it truly is fun.
To see the world for what it is
Even during a dark and blurry mist.
Come forth to see the glory
Of this glorious morn.
The rose of love
Takes your breath away like the way of the dove.

Vacation

This is the last day
I get to see through the eyes
Of a well-rested individual
Tomorrow now boils over into
Today
I am left restless and awake
On the 6 a.m. ferry
The salty aura gives
Off arctic blows
As a kid I would hold my head out
Look down at the water
For schools of jellyfish
But now there is no sign of life
In thickly polluted waters
All that's left
For the eye to see
Are barnacles
Holding on tight to the docks
Begging for life to
Rub off on them.

Untitled

Red flames
Blonde halo
Nappy hair
Black raven
Chestnut brown
Hair is just a color
Defining the brighter parts of life
It's there to conceal the shame
Pain, also the scalp
Which occasionally
Is not credited for the
Thinking processed from the brain
By the way have you heard of brains with color?
Wouldn't that be odd?
The good hair we want
Is based on mere things of figment
Based on other people's imagination
We as a generation are ready to live
Under the seedy holes of the papers, the tabloids
Artificial imagination
The thought of creativity
Is lost, no longer created
But forged, singed from vulnerable owners
And then we want to live in this disposable world that we have accustomed ourselves to
That's fine with me
The color of your hair doesn't matter to me.
Let's keep it that way.
Peace.

Realize

Check it
Yo! Check it
Let me spit it
Let me shape it
Confusing it might seem to be
This game we call love
At times we seem to forget who we be
'Cuz we're too entwined in the arms of lust
Then we forget why we're here together
In the first place
We can't be without each other
In the crammed spaces
We let emotions take control of our motions
Then of course there are other days
When life is c'est la vie
And today is more than aujourd'hui
Then you take my hand and promise me
That I can see past today, and dream
But it isn't the crème de la cream
So it's hot now, paused now
Rewind now
Take back what you said
'Cuz in the first place
I can't do this
When you're in my face
I find it hard to communicate
And I'm too doubtful to take yes for an answer
I back down 'cuz it's hard to say goodbye to someone
You hardly got a day to say hello to
And like that, you come back into my arms
We play the tune of oneness together
Hands entwined like a chain bracelet
Eyes tilted towards the sky
And suddenly God reminds me
That we are meant to be.

Believe

hold it down like cement
that's what they used to say
but when you get into an event
they'll turn their backs away

they'll tell you you're not big enough
not strong
it's not for you
see, that kind of stuff turns your whole world blue
others been through it too
they'll start believing its true
oh no but not you

all you have to do is just believe
believe you can succeed
you can do it
might get tough
but put heart to it
do it for the people
who said it's not for you
do it for
because you wanted to

believe

Untitled

I like him don't I
I can't get him out of my head
It's like Nelly said 'over and over again'
I see his face
He's on my mind
Are these true signs?

Untitled

Words trapped in my mouth
Why can't they just come out?
When I hear his voice I tremble and shake
I get sweaty and act all fake
Why can't I just be me?
Be the person who was meant to be

Words trapped in my head won't come out
Sometimes I want say them so bad I shout
Why can't I tell him how I really feel why am I so nervous
I sweat and get hot and my stomach starts to turn
I avoid him, avoid seeing him, and avoid calling him
I am so falling

Yeah he's my boyfriend so what?
This is normal right. Not
This isn't normal why do I feel this way
I don't even have courage to say
Around him I get so nervous and sound like an idiot
I feel stupid and I say dumb things I twirl my hair and look down
I don't want to be this way but my words are trapped from love.

Less Than Perfect

She walks alone
With a face a stone
Set against the world
To show them that there is life
Her life takes place in a book
An escape from her world
Her stone face hides pain
Then one day she was gone
Some say she flew
I do not know about you
But I think she finally found her life
She is not perfect she is just
Less then perfect

July 2006

Untitled

Destiny unwinds
like a spool of twine
come, get lost
in my spinning thoughts
searching for an answer
I will never find
secrets unfold
to the test of time
wandering restlessly
in my blind times
unfold me, or leave me be?
It's your choice, my misery
acceptance is the key

Bothered

We enjoy saying we love you
When you start to cry
I know something is bothering you
But I can't seem to think why.

Night Falls

When night falls
I look outside,
To believe the day is over
I shut my eyes.

Math Class

My friends struggle in math
and try not to laugh,
when our teacher
walks by us.
She talks and she talks
till the world dies
but the funniest thing
is when she cries.
Her face is droopy
with all these tears
and she can't seem to even
get out any of her hilarious fears.

Wind

It has no smell
nor a taste
but it can brush across your
face

It carries dust
but not a trace
can you see as it
blows across your
face

It makes you feel as though you're blind
when you feel it blow against you but cannot find
the person that is touching you
upon your
face

Because it was just the wind
that blew...

Afraid To Say

We started just friends it was all fun and games,
'til I noticed you and all your little ways.
As the year went on we got closer and closer,
but all I did was push further and further.
I wasn't sure whether you wanted me as I did you,
I was too afraid to think of us two.
We get older and older and I still think of you,
we get older and older and I hope you think of me too.
Now its been going on forever and ever, who would've knew,
I still push 'cause I want to get close to you.
I'm still afraid of what you might say,
I'm still afraid to get in the way.
Why are you still in my mind every day and night,
all I think about is how we might.
Why can't I just drop you?
because I still haven't told you I loved you.

Untitled

It was you who loved me.
It was you who cared for me.
It was you who could see everything.
It was you who thought of me.
It was you who always wrote me back.
It was you who took me as a fact.
It was you never told a lie.
It was you who kept me by your side.
It was you who could hear me breathe.
It was you who could finally hear me sing.
It was you who told me everything.
It was you who said I'll always be the queen.
It was you who liked to hold my hand.
It was you who said you'll always be my man.
It was you who did everything right.
It was you who never had to dial my number twice.
It was you who always gave me an answer.
It was you who said you'll be there faster.

The Dark

The Dark is creeping forward
Every time I close my eyes.
It wants to swallow me whole.
It's leaving me blind.
It's crawling in my skin.
It's stealing my soul.
Leaving me lifeless.
My heart is breaking.
Save me,
Save me before I lose my mind,
Save me before I'm gone.

When I Saw You

The first time I saw you
Your mouth stretched from one side to the other side of your face
A smile, a smile that caught my eyes,
That's when I realized, realized I'm falling for you.

The second time I saw you
I saw your blue eyes
Your loving blue eyes fixed on me
Catching my attention
That's when I realized, realized I'm falling even harder for you.

Once I realized I was falling for you,
I wanted to be with you,
I wanted to look into your loving blue eyes
And kiss your soft tender lips that looked sweet, sweet as honey
That's when I realized, realized I needed you.

I want to be with you
But there is one thing,
One thing stopping me
That is I don't have the guts,
The guts to tell you
That I want, I want to be with you.

Untitled

Your kisses fill me with warmth.
Your hugs keep me safe.
I will forever be yours.

I look into your eyes
And know you will always love me.
I kiss your lips
And know we were meant to be.

Your love is all I need
To live, to breathe.
Your hand is all I need
To hold, to hold me.
You are all I need
To live, to breathe.

June 2006

Untitled

He was my first love
my one and only
but he left
and I wept
now I'm so lonely

Then I met him
the one in my dreams
and I can't help the way I feel
it's like it's not real

I hope to marry him sometime, someday
but until then I'll love him like Alicia loves to say:
"Cause I'm cool like that"

I Don't

I don't know where I will be
I don't think I care
I want to wait and see
Because the rush is kind of a scare

Sweet, Soft, Sin

Normally I wouldn't say this
I would hide it within
But I love the bliss
Of sweet, soft, sin

Tell Me

Tell me that it's over
You can't, like a drunk says he is sober
Tell me you didn't have a blast with me
Because when I look in your eyes that is all I can see
Tell me what we had doesn't matter to you
Because if you do, I will feel the same about you too
Tell me when you look at me it is just a glance
Not because your heart can't stop beating fast because of our first dance
I didn't want to break up with you
But a promise I took through
He meant the world to me
He wanted me to be with him before he had to leave
Yes, I care about this person more that you
But it is only nature to
Family matters more to me
I know you understand why you can't see,
Give me a second chance
I did it for my brother; no boy had me in a trance
I have always liked you
I guess it has changed for you
I don't care; I wanted you to know the real story
You make my life sweet glory

Untitled

You put these thoughts in my head
I should be doing my work, but instead
I think of how I will miss everyone
Knowing soon I won't have anyone
These stupid thoughts they won't go away
Crying to myself every night and every day
You betrayed everything I once had here
Nothing will stop these soul-shedding tears
Not looking at where the green grass grows
Never caring where the wind blows
You stripped me of what I had before
Now I will have a never-ending soar
Now I know who fought the real fight
The only one that could see those sights
The true one that stuck until the end
A lifetime of support that I call my friend
I know sometimes I made him mad
But this god forsaken man is my dad

Summer

Having the time of my life
Laughing and screaming
The sun shining so bright
Touching and dreaming
Flying bright yellow kites
Feeling and believing

Laying in the mellow grass
Finding a way
Being a little sass
Each and everyday
Playing with the brass
Not caring what people say

Having a blast
Climbing those big oak trees
While I watch the sunset cast
Feeling the soft gentle breeze
Running oh so fast
Jumping into what it seems like fall leaves

Laying in the sun
Getting thrown in the pool
Putting on sun block a ton
The rush feels so cool
Having graceful fun
Acting like a big fool

Dancing in the rain
Never getting the blame
Washing off all the pain

Faster and Faster

It feels like my world is spinning faster and faster
And it won't hit the brake
Soon it will turn into a disaster
I think this is all I can take

This endless dismal lifetime
This bit of sadness
I can hear the last bit of my chimes
The world has turned into madness

Best Friend

You are my best friend
You have been there for me since the end
When you need a shoulder I will be there for you
Trust me; I know how you get when you red blue
I tell you everything, they go so deep
I tell you them because I know you can keep
I love when we laugh and we make those smiles
I know, our grins can go for miles
We tell all and share
We really do care
I listen to you and what you have to say
Honestly, you leave text messages even when I'm away
I guess god was trying to send,
My only true friend
I love you to the end
My rubber band man friend

Feel Not See

I do not wish to write what I see
Because I think it is boring to describe what I see
I want to write about my dreams
Because it will help me heal my seams
I want to write about love
Because it brings grace from above
I want to write about fate
Because it keeps me up oh so late
I want to write about you
Because I want you to say who
I want to write about me
So everyone can see
I want to write what I feel
Because it will help the whole world heal

Free

She was trapped in an overpowering light
She wanted someone to break her
Then, this courageous girl found a way one night
A handsome knight wished to take her

Now, she is finally free
She headed away from the ugly light
The only thing left is what you see
Now I think I might

I Hate Math

I hate math
When it comes you hear my wrath
The boring division
It hurts my vision
When we multiply
I feel like I am going to start to cry
When we add
I feel so sad
When we subtract
I feel like I am having a heart attack
When we make graphs
I just want to cut my brain in halves
When we add negative numbers
I feel like I am going to throw up my cucumbers
What I feel doesn't need a logical explanation
I just want math out of this nation

Paper

Prepare for a full throttle story,
Amazing poetry,
Pretend the unthinkable,
Express with words,
Reading what people feel.

Don't Change The Game

Guys get the acting funny once they get their car,
I was there for you before you had anything at all,
I was your friend, your lover, your sister, your brother,
I held you down when times got really hard,
you got into that car club and let guys change your heart,
never knowing you put everything aside,
school, your friends, your family, and most of all me and your moms,
you said you'll hold me down to the day that you die,
but at the end all I seem to get is broken promises and a bunch of lies,
I remember the days when we used to be more of a Bonnie and Clyde,
always together in the summertime,
guys use to hate when they saw you with me,
your friends tried to talk to me behind your back,
and then they'd turn around and lie,
you know I was down for whatever
I was always by your side, never caring about the situation,
I was always trying to hold you down,
I thought our love would survive any fault,
but it seems I got blinded by the word love,
you changed on me,
you got so big headed over time,
always spending less n less time wit me,
so I had no choice but to say good-bye.

Untitled

To be Myself I need some strength, to be someone else I don't have to care.
Carry myself deeply inside, Make me aware of all the sights.
The sharpest minds make you wise, The coldest hearts will make you numb.
I choose the path, You choose the way--You make me cry, I'll make some strength.
Forgetting the past I make a new way, gaining the strength of every time I felt.

A Guy Every Girl Deserves

Find a guy who calls you beautiful,
instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will lie under the stars to listen to your heart beat,
or who will stay awake to watch you sleep...
Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you're in sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you're just as pretty without make-up on,
who is constantly reminding you he cares,
and how lucky he is to have YOU...
the one who turns to his friends and says, "That's her"
the one who isn't afraid to say he loves you in front of what seems like the world,
a guy who won't deny that he loves you to anyone who asks,
or who won't tell your friends that you're not together,
the one who will NEVER get mad at you for what you do,
the guy who you get those little butterflies in your stomach when he talks or even looks at you,
the one who will write songs (or at least try to)
and who will get you things and write little notes saying how much he loves you
or that say how much he cares about you and no one else,
the one who gets along with your family and never fights with them unless it's over you,
the one who wants to tell the whole world that he wants to be with you forever,
but can't because the whole world isn't around,
the one that flirts, kisses, and hugs you in front of his and your friends and family.
and the guy that says "I love you!" everyday and no matter how much he says it, it never gets old.
the one who you are never worrying about if he's going to break-up with you or flirt with others girls on his night out,
the one who you will never think about breaking up with or cheating on.
the one who you feel like you've known him your whole life, but you've only known him for the time you we together.
the one who you stand by in the hall, or out in public and people come up to you and say "You guys are the cutest couple" and it will never get old.
the one who people/friends come up to you and say that he's really nice or that he has really good manners.
the one who you know you will ALWAYS LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS and that he will always stay dear in your heart.
that's the guy I need.

Emotions

Heart is filled with emotions,
emotions of love and fear,
emotions of far and near,
emotions of praise and cheer.
Those emotions which come once,
those which come in dozens.
All are placed in my heart,
all are present from the start.
From the start of my love for you,
from the end of my fear to lose you,
from the fear of being far from you,
from the charm of being next to you,
being next to you, makes me cheer and that's
why I love you dear...

Special

He was different...not by personality
Deformed and different
His walk was sad and depressing
He walked and showed disappointment in his eyes
I really wanted to help
I wanted to be his friend
Why didn't I?
I don't know...what was holding me back
The teasing, the ridicule, no ease
He was deformed and different
I feel bad about me having insecurities
I had shame and disappointment in my heart
I need to be more thankful, confident, and pleased
I think about him till this day...he was different but in a special way

May 2006

Ache

Does your soul ache for someone else
Does your heart lust for another
Or do you wish for something just as good as you
Someone lacking individuality
Lacking heart and smarts
Someone selfish will love you
No, not like him
Believe me, trust me
I've been

A Poem You Ask 4

A poem you ask for
A poem I give
It is only for those who truly live
For those who take risks
For those who get kicks
From living the life they were meant to live
They don't need an answer
They find it themselves
They like puzzles and games
And searching for shells
They drem of a world where all would be equal
And producers and writers would make 10 sequels
The basics provided is all that they need
The starving children
They would gladly feed
This poem you ask for is not about me
But those people who help willingfully
These people that make the world go round
Will soon be dancing to a different sound

So I May Never See the Light Again

Free me from anguish
Be with me again
All that I need
Is in you, you see

My heart aches for
You to be with me again
So find me again
And never run from me again

I'll stay right here
Where I have always been
Blind me with your devilish touch
Make me tremble, Romeo

Though the stars see us apart
Don't fall into the cracks
Of weeping society
They don't know our love

Love me tender, oh dear sweet
King of my soul,
Love me
So I may never see the light again

Strawberry Delight

I swear her beauty
Must be deadly
But not as harmful
As the lies she fed me
I was spellbound
By her sweet scent
Now I am wallowing
In a sea of regret
A deadly kiss
Her toxic lips
And the poison was laid on thick
Love at first sight
With strawberry delight
She stole my heart
She took my life
She stabbed with the knife
And now I'm bleeding ready to die
So don't always believe
Because beauty certainly lies

Count On Me

You picked me up
when I was down
When I was lost
you turned me around

I'd never fall into the
darkness of Hattie
Cause you were always
there to grab hold of me

You'd say...
Take my hand
It'll be all right
I'm your friend
I won't let you
lose sight
You can count on me!
You can count on me!

I know you've had
hard times in the past
But you're gonna have
a life that will last
I said it once and
I'll say it again

Take my hand
It'll be all right
I'm your friend
I won't let you
lose sight
You can count on me

Jump-Rope

Her smile, setting like the sun, reaches its cymbal;
In silence with her prayers, uplifting and grieving;
All are praiseworthy,
And non-conceited.

Her eyes, dipped in too sweetly by some magic-
The jumping of His rope;
A tightened coat, attached, peeling off her;
Her shadow she chases, disappearing,;
Lost under the wings of a crow.

Untitled

Though never in my sight
always in my thoughts
Though never in my presence
always on my mind
No longer down here with me
you're always in my prayers

I pray that God will safeguard you
and keep you when you fall
I pray that God will bless you so
and keep you far from harm
I pray that God will show his love
to your life of loss and hurt

I believe that he will answer these
though I know not how or when
He will keep you safe until
your time to come is here
I do not know for sure although
he calms me with his rod
if you will come out alright
if you will be safe and warm

Hear me and feel my sorrow, friend
when I cry out to you
Don't give yourself to evil, friend
in whatever form it takes
Don't give it all up
Don't throw in your towel
Remember that true reading mark
Remember, friend, what it always said
"You're not a failure, until you fail to try"

So Afraid

I must admit that I'll never forget
and that I'm still in love with you
although I try to deny,
sometimes I break down and cry
just thinkin' 'bout my dreams comin' true
at first I was afraid,
then I started feeling 4 you,
fell in love but I though the feelings would later on fade
now I think 'bout you so much
and long for the warmth of your touch
but that's just a dream
well at least it seems
we've been homies since 6th grade, and now I'm up in my teens
boy you don't know what you do to me
I kind of hate you for makin' me fall in love
my obsession's grown steep
and I've fallen too deep
I feel shivers when I hear my phone beep
expecting it to be you
but my expectations never come true
I'll always love you
wish you knew how I feel
I'm young, but I know
or at least hope
that what I feel 4 you is real

Love

It's like a river that flows
To where nobody knows
But you and I go
A place so abstract
It only lives within our souls
Helping us to reach our goals
Sparkling with a sudden glow
Leading us to and fro
Nurturing us and allowing us to grow
Tingling and touching deep in my soul
Not only do you and I go
Others go as well and the feeling tends to show
The sensation's so amazing
So many others don't even know
But yet they tend to show
This feeling within
It sparks and it glows
Goes on and on
Through clear skies and storms
It's an everlasting river
That'll always flow
It's...
Love

Water On My Face

The water on my face
Has just begun to drop
And now that it's started
it's impossible to stop
Water built up from all the agony
All these tears
Are just finally exploding, my emotions are pouring out, leaking
They've built up inside of me over all these years
Trapped inside, they were
But now it's come to the point
That I can't even put on a disguise
This water's become dominant over my eyes
This water's been possible in addition to lies
This watery sensation has nearly formed a river
But it used to be a stream that would end quick and wither
Now it's impossible to bring an end
To this thunderstorm formed by a mass of rain
Which is causing me to be vain, driving me insane
Oh lord please tell mw what to do
When tears are blocking my view
And all I see is blurred by clearish drops of blue
My face's become hidden with this massive overflow
I try to bring it to an ending
But how? I don't know.
So please, anyone in sight
Help to wipe away this water on my face if you may
So that this aggravating river will flow away

Speechless

Words trapped in my mind
A connection in my soul met with his eyes
An unbroken yet unformed bond
When he talks to me it sounds like endless speeches
Playing only in my head are these words
He simply has me speechless
He
He's like the words unwritten to my world
Not yet a part of me
His love's like an endless spell
That lives in the heart of me
His words are like a melody
Playing in my head thoughts so sweet
His presence is overbearing
Every time he's around me I get weak
Speechless
Words trapped in my mind
A connection in my soul met with his eyes
An unbroken yet unformed bond
When he talks to me it sounds like endless speeches
Playing only in my head are these words
He simply has me speechless
He captured my heart fro the day me met,
And that was YEARS ago
It seems this love clings to me
And over the years it grows
This love of silence
Constantly overriding me
Yet still he doesn't know that he's got me...
He's got me so...
Speechless
Words trapped in my mind
A connection in my soul met with his eyes
An unbroken yet unformed bond
When he talks to me it sounds like endless speeches
Playing only in my head are these words
He simply has me speechless

Beautiful

Sometimes I look in the mirror
At the reflection that stares back
And I think myself to be unattractive
I find that beauty is all that I lack
As a strong young gurl
Who strives to do her best
Sometimes it gets competitive
It seems beauty is a test
Putting us under stress
Girls and boys alike struggle to pass
With accompaniment of makeup or accessories
That which fades away--they think to be vast
Like I used to,
So many only think beauty to be in appearance
When really it exists in all aspects
The media plays a major effect
On many
Men starving to be skinny
Women purging to be pretty
Everyone's beautiful
Stop the starving this is no competition
Just look in the mirror
hear my words closely--LISTEN!!
Thinness = beauty?
celebrity = pefect?
NO
That's not what beauty's about
Beauty comes from the inside,
But transfers out

April 2006

Unexplainable Anxiety

I know I should take it a feeling at a time
Just try and grasp the situation
But the more I think about my life
The more I think about my life the more confused I get
The more confused I get
The more I become impatient

I'm waiting to be happy
I'm waiting for a real smile
One without anxiety and fear
One from the heart
One that lasts
Lets just say I've been waiting for a while

Give up and give in?
Not my thing
Or at least I think it's not
I don't remember the last time I went down easy
Then again those fights weren't hard
They were...an easy win...

So how to kill this unexplainable anxiety?
I need it to stop eating me away
Like acid devours a rock
Just like that
It devours me...

The Last Picture-Perfect Gleam

Take us back
Back to where it all began
And let's view the board
Because I spy fake tears again
Hold me down
Before I jump right off my friend
But wait
No need
Because this was never meant to be

So take that smile
And hold it there
Because I can't picture you any other way
I said, "I hold you down"
But it was your fault all along
Your fault all a-

Irreplaceable
That's what you're not
Despite what it seems
I've already fought
And I refuse to hang on
When there's no more hope
I give up
I give in
There's no where else to go

So take that smile
And hold it there
Because I can't picture you any other way
You told me lies
And now I'm through
That's right I'm done with you

I won't lose myself to this pool of lies you cried
Or said you did in the least
In fact, I won't even go near the water
Until I know its safe

So take your smile
And hold it there
Because I wont have it any other way
Pack it up and press "delete"
Because this is the end for me

All Planes Crash In Slow Motion

I saw you spiraling down
Yes that took a while
I didn't want to believe
That all of this was real

Your fake smile plastered on
And I can't stand to see it
All the pain that you hide
And you choose to leave it
Leave it for me
To pick up my own pieces
So hard to lose you like this
So hard to lose you

You told me you were leaving
And I was in denial
I didn't want to see it
That all of this came true

And I can't stand to see it
All the pain that you hide
And you choose to leave it
Leave it all behind

As I pick up the pieces
The remains of the crash
Tend to all the passengers
Or at least the ones that last

So hard to lose you like this
So hard to say goodbye
Too hard to believe it
That this is our last time
This was our last time

This was our last goodbye

Cross Stitched Lullaby

Broken hearts are everywhere
But no one seems to want them
Until now
Let this take you away

Here is your cross-stitched lullaby
This will help it mend in time
Needles are thread to your heart
This is where the healing starts
This is your cross-stitched lullaby

Let your used hearts cry
As this plays over the air-way
Melodies warp your soul out of shape
Let this take you away

Here is your cross-stitched lullaby
This will help it mend in time
Needles are thread to your heart
This is where the healing starts
This is your cross-stitched lullaby

You've been telling the truth all along
This is your lullaby
That you can take no more
This is your lullaby
But no one's cared
This is your lullaby
Until now
This is your...

Here is your cross-stitched lullaby
This will help it mend in time
Needles are thread to your heart
This is where the healing starts
This is your

(whispered) Let it take you away...

Suffocation In Your Wake

Another shakedown
Another day with you
You'll never understand me
And the hell you put me through

You were my best friend
Then you stabbed my heart
With all this control over me
I can't even breathe

I'm trying to be myself
And you call that naive?
Just trying to be happy
But you're too thickheaded to see

And every time we fight
You come out on top
Because you never give my opinion a chance
Do you know how much that hurts?

So as much as I wish you were gone
You won't let me be
I shall carry on
Just praying you'd let me be... me

My One and Only

Everyone's someone else caring about them
Not related
But caring
I really want someone
That always agrees with me, when I know I'm wrong
Someone that I can trust
Someone that thinks about me wherever I am
And that I can think about them wherever they are.

Shelter

(Inspired by book by Julia Alvarez, In the Time of the Butterflies)

Darkness caresses her mysterious stature
In a motion of crumbling rapture, thus
Elaborating each crease into intricate detail
Puzzles mold the contours of her features forming
A trench of protection concealing anxiety
Impressions reflect a light of satisfaction
Glowing with a specious air
Her profile is veiled by the law of shadow,
Blink once and doubt will overcome
Do not close your eyes
She rinses a lathered lash
And is half revealed
The other half will stay concealed
Sheltered by disguise
The internal power never falters
She is born with the quality innate
In a world shaped of greed and hate
How can she not but find protection
And acquire the outmost affection
Even If it does require
The refuge of her content smile
She shows her emotions to the mirror
For it absorbs the effects of her fear
Now she can flaunt her
Fearless face to a world
In continuous race

My Love For You

My love for you grows stronger
Every time I think of you
My life for you opens
Every time I see you
My passion for your soul
Grows deeper everyday
My caring for your heart
Never fades away

The smoothness of your skin
Feels warm and makes me melt
The touch of your kiss
Is something I never felt
The way you hold me late at night
Makes everything feel heavenly right
The love I give to you
Is fulfilling and oh so true

I love the way you make me feel
I love the way I know its real
I love the way you look at me
I'll cherish your love for eternity

With the sky so bright, I see it through
That I only want to be with you
With my love up above
Your love is like a flame
You took my heart
You're the one to blame

Now God I know you'll help us
Our love is in your hands
Make me the best woman for him
As I'll make him be the best man!

I LOVE YOU!

March 2006

Spring is in the air!

Spring is in the air! It lifts me up, my heart does sing, sweet melodies so fair!

I listen for an answer, for the trilling notes to flare, of the songbirds lilting voices, upon the fragrant air!

Birdie antics, trysting lovers, swooping through the air, vying for a partner, it's a birdie love affair, So interesting to watch, I swear!!!!

Blossoms full of fragrance, fields no longer bare, I run through the fields of clover, Like new colts do with their mares!!!

I declare!!!!!

What joy, this spring does enfold, and lift me up, without a care, to dizzy heights of colors, what else could ever compare?

My friends! This special time I wish to share, for spring is in the air!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

February 2006

You

I was thinkin of you,
Just of us two,
Together always and forever,
I could never be better.

Knowing I have you to lean on,
To also look apon,
I am so happy I found you,
You just have no clue.

You are the greatest guy I have met,
When thinking of you I am all set,
I saw you and knew you were the one,
You will always be my hun.

I cant think of not being with you,
I couldnt think our love was more true,
I am just happy to say and prove,
That I Love You.........

January 2006

The World Is Full

The world is full of love, but full of hatred
The world is full of care, but full of neglect
The world is full of rights but full of wrongs
In the real world I'm stuck in the middle,
forgotten, ignored, and deceived

Untitled

not quite sure what's wrong,
not quite sure how I feel,
not quite sure if it will last long,
not quite sure if its real,
not quite sure if its good,
kinda scared that its bad,
tryin' to be happy,
but keep comin' out as sad,
wanting to be sweet,
starting to be mean,
startin' to feel like the freak,
that haunts you in your dreams,
trying to be the best,
ending up in last,
some of the words you say,
seem to cut me like glass,
wishin' you were here,
wishen I was there,
wishin' what I am feeling,
isn't really fear,
don't know why I feel this way,
don't know if you care,
don't know if it matters,
don't know if you're really there.

Untitled

As tears fall down my cheeks,
my heart hurts with a feeling so deep,
of sadness.
I love you more than anything in this cold dark world,
but I have to let you go without a word,
of sadness.
The feelings I once had lying in your arms,
are now gone as I find myself wishing on a star,
to take away the sadness.
I miss you but there is not much I can do,
but stand by you and tell you every day how much I love you,
in sadness.

Love For A Child

Cry not my child for dying
is just a step in life,
for an Angel in my heart
is promising a better life to come
my beloved child shall rest peacefully
yet will not accompany me home.

My beloved one keeps his promise
Because he has plans unknown to humans,
Angels shall sound their trumpets
for a new life to come.

And you'll hastened to his call,
my beloved child fly with vigorous
and unconfined wings into his fathers arms,
So slumber in the most peaceful
and warm nest of my father's demure arms.

Where he shall be untouchable by
hands filled with filth, unapproachable by visible
and invisible perils. So repose my child till rendezvous day
I will burry you deep in my heart to carry you
always and keep your grave from rain and sun...

I Remember

I remember not long ago
I awoke just to see your face
Maybe I'd just get a glimpse
Maybe at just one place
I'm missing you
Now that we're miles apart
My head is telling me to forget you
But it won't tell my heart
Broken into so many fragments
Refusing to you let go
Loving you with every broken piece
How? I will never know
You ripped my heart out,
Shoved it down my throat
You made me a fool for love
with each word you spoke

You Don't Know I Hate You

You don't know I hate you
No matter how angry I look sometimes
Why I cry at night all the time
You don't know I hate
Even if told you I hated you
You still wouldn't know
Because you probably wouldn't listen
To whatever I have to say
You don't know I hate you
So why do you have to pay

What Does It Feels Like To Be Different?

What does it feels like to be different?
One word: lonely, because in your surroundings there is no one quite like you
No one is strong enough to stand up and say: hey I'm different
They like to fit in the mold, follow the masses, say and do what "everyone" is saying and doing
So when you stand up and be who you really are, they discourage you and your judgments, they discourage your colorful spirit
But I'm strong, that's why the discouragement never gets me down for too long
I'm different that's for sure, I'm different by choice and nothing more
I'm creative, an individual with vision and direction, a leader with promise, a future fashion trailblazer
I am me, I am different

Love

The world
Through a child's eyes
Is not questioned
It is merely accepted
But as one grows older
The world becomes bleak
We lose sight of hope
And joy in our lives
The emptiness takes over
We do things we know are wrong
Violence becomes a way of life
We hurt others to kill our own pain
Not knowing
That all we are doing is deepening it
The tears that we cry
Hit the ground silently
They burn out and fade
No one pays attention
To the lost souls hiding away
It takes a true love
To find them and bring them to the light

Why?

Why do I do what I do?
Why do I have to be me?
I don't understand why God made me this way!
Why do I feel like I'm about to fall?
Why doesn't someone help me?
You're listening, but you're not really listening,
For you see when I'm gone it will be your turn to ask why?
Why didn't I listen to her?
Why didn't I help her?
Why did she have to go?
God WHY not me...

I Turn To You

When my world seems to be turned upside down,
I turn to you to turn it the right way around.
On those days I feel so blue,
I turn to you and see the truth.
No matter what I do
In the end you somehow see me through.
When I feel so lost, I turn to you and find my way.
So now it's my turn to say thanks for allowing me to turn to you!

Sinking

Sometimes all I want to do is run away,
just to escape the pain,
run from it all,
and pray they don't catch me if I fall.
My man is gone and my family hates me,
my life sucks and at night I go crazy.
The loneliness is sinking in,
I can't even explain this pain to my best friend.
All I can think about is the hurt,
the pain I hide makes me feel like dirt.
I can't sleep,
I can't eat,
I've lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks,
I feel so lonely and weak.
Life just is not what it used to be,
dear god what is happening to me?!
Is there anyone out there that can help me?
If there is please hurry because I'm sinking!

Supposed To Be

Lost in a transfixed generation
I'm on the edge of being crazy
I've got my own kind of creation
And baby things are getting hazy

You try to drive me up a wall
But I'm strong enough to knock it down
You know I'm trying not to fall
But when I look at you you're such a clown

I'm supposed to be the one you told me to be
But now I find myself sitting here wanting to flee
I've got a rotten attitude and I'm ready to cheat
Guess that's not the way you want it but I'm gonna be me

I'm not the one that you created
I'm just a scary kind of version
With you in my life it got castrated
I find it hard to be a true person

I read the stories that you wrote
And read the ones that you tried to hide
Heard the excuses that you spoke
And now I'm trying to define my ride

I'm supposed to be the one you told me to be
But now I find myself sitting here wanting to flee
I've got a rotten attitude and I'm ready to cheat
Guess that's not the way you want it but I'm gonna be me

Everything Has Faded Away

What would you say if I asked you not to go?
To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me?
Would you take my hand and never let me go?
Promise me you'll never let me go.
The stars aren't out tonight, but neither are we to look up at them.
Why does .h.e.l.l.o. feel like .g.o.o.d.b.y.e.? These memories can't be replaced,these wishes I wished and dreams I chased. Take this broken heart and make it right. I feel like I lost everything when you're gone. Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me. I thought you should know, you're not making this easy for me.

My Anasazi

There's a place
I'll be going
this place
they say I'll be loved

Now I'm here
and I'm certain
that this place
is one of a kind

We have hiked many miles
and learned how to live
and everyone seems to care

Everything is so different
it's beautiful
in this place somewhere...out there

Filled with nature and laughter
and wonderful people
it's a place
where I finally belong
I've faced trials and heartache
and I've fallen down
but I got back up and now
I'm going home

Now I'm back
with my family
it's been over
three months

Things aren't going
so well
what have I
done wrong

I miss my happy heart
I miss the way that I felt

I go out on my own
and think about that place

Filled with nature and laughter
and wonderful people
it's a place
where I finally belong
I faced trials and heartache
and I fell down
But I got back up and now
I'm moving on

Looking back
I remember
The nature only helped out
That feeling
I had conquered
came from inside of me

Filled with nature and laughter
and wonderful people
it's a place where I finally belong
I've faced trials and heartache
and I've fallen down
But I got back up and now
I'm finally home

By Causing Me Pain

By causing me pain
what do you hope to gain,
I've done nothing but try to love you
and this is what you do.
You walk away in shame as tears roll down my face
and I begin to cry,
I ask myself not knowing exactly why,
what are you trying to say
that things were meant to happen this way.
Only to break apart
only to break my heart
by causing me pain, what do you hope to gain.

Untitled

The sun rages in a flare,
As if it were the calling of thy fate,
My enslaved heart dwells in utmost despair
Amidst the darkness every cry has ached.
Sacred thoughts flickering and yet hidden
Within my deepest core lays the desire
Alluring in form and said forbidden.
Silently, softly, a rekindling fire
Breathing and living a life to ignite
Forgotten tears of a child left to weep.
What once was a darkened, deadly night
Whose soothing voice will now and always keep
Thy deepest love I have come to adore
Passion in him and I forever more.

Untitled

I love you and you love me
when I am with you I feel quivery
I love you and you love me
that's when I feel free
and when I am free
I want to be with thee