Perks & Prizes - Poetry
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Poetry 2003 - Sorted By Title
A
A Best Friend
Someone you can confide in
Someone who’s been where you’ve been
Someone who’s there for you
No matter what you do
Someone you can cry on
Someone who’s never gone
Someone who cares
Someone who will share
Someone you care about
Without a doubt
There are very few
Special friends like you
A Blind Journey to Find That One Love
Is there someone you feel you were meant to be with?
But constantly make the signs fade away?
Concealing them with disregard,
Too fearful and afraid.
You have these forever lasting feelings for him
That you always try and hide.
You go on endless journeys searching for that one love,
Not ever realizing that you're blind.
When you're with him you feel like you're only his,
Wanting his arms to be wrapped around you.
Other days you want to stay far away,
But it's every day you don't know what to do.
On cold and rainy nights, you sit around and talk
Sometimes you just stare and think.
When there's often this comfortable silence,
That only he could bring.
There are times when you wonder if you should be together,
But most of the time try not to think of it at all.
Are you suppose to be friends, is he your soul mate?
Will he be at the bottom to catch you if you fall?
You have these forever lasting feelings for him
That you always try and hide.
You go on endless journeys searching for that one love,
Not ever realizing that you're blind.
You can be your true self only around him,
Not caring about who or what's around.
Feeling like you can do anything,
And completely satisfied with this friend you've found.
Sometimes you want to hold his hand,
Just so that you can feel safe.
You still never fully understand why that is,
When you're with him, it's just a feeling you crave.
You have these forever lasting feelings for him
That you always try and hide.
You go on endless journeys searching for that one love,
Not ever realizing that you're blind.
Believing that you're just meant to be friends
Is this small thought running through your mind?
But there's a stronger thought believing you're meant to be together,
And it often makes you cry.
Are you not completely sure,
If all these feelings you have are real?
Do you want to just pause everything, and give it more time,
To figure out how you truly feel?
You have these constant worries,
Imagining that it would never work.
You're not sure that you can love enough,
And you're afraid of getting hurt.
You get restless wondering what he'd be like to kiss.
Getting this inquisitive feeling of thought.
Will it be breathtaking and soothing as you expect?
You're nervous to find out if it would be or not.
You have these forever lasting feelings for him
That you always try and hide.
You go on endless journeys searching for that one love,
Not ever realizing that you're blind.
Are there long nights when you just can't seem to sleep?
When you stay up for hours talking to him on the phone.
Are there those times you feel that he is right beside you,
Or maybe you want him to be and you're really alone.
All your feelings and emotions for him are endless,
But you still don't realize that you're blind.
Following that endless journey in circles,
Leading back to that friend who can be that one love in your life.
You have these forever lasting feelings for him.
Understand that they will never disappear.
Stop trying to always hide them,
And face love: your biggest fear.
A Crush
She smiles at him
hoping he notices.
She lends him a pen
hoping he'll remember her.
She lets him copy off her homework
that he forgot to do.
But still he'd rather go to HER.
She knows it's just a crush
but he'll never know
nor remember her.
A Dream
I cried last night
when I woke up you were not there
I reached out to feel your warmth
All I felt was the cold sheets
that you left behind.
I searched for you,
but I couldn’t find you.
My head aches
not knowing what went wrong
What made you leave?
I felt a hand touch my lips
and I opened my eyes there
you were lying next to me
A Man Like You
To know a man like you is to know there will always be someone there
whose honesty I can depend on
and whose strength I can trust
It means knowing there will always be someone whose sense of humor can lighten me up
And whose advice can turn everything into perspective
It is knowing there will be that one special someone
whose touch can take me where nothing matters
but the two of us
It means havin' that special someone
All I Ever Did
It’s the month of Love.
And yet I’m still stuck in that dark hole filled with coldheartedness.
Do I really deserve all of this torture?
You taunt me with sweet words everyday
It’s just not fair.
All I ever did was like you for you
And what you give back is nothing but a tease.
Will I ever be the same?
Though my heart is bruised
There will always be a place for you
I can only wish you happiness, if not with me, with someone else.
B
Be Mine
There is something in you that I see
Something I want to be a part of me
Our friendship has grown and is much more
Something special worth fighting for
When I’m with you I feel unconditional happiness
Just hearing your voice makes my day
Sometimes I don’t know what to say
Because I look into your eyes and get speechless
There is something I wanted to ask you
But didn’t know how to say
So I wrote you this poem
Because this is the right way
When I’m with you I don’t want to leave
When we talk I don’t want to say goodbye
I want this to be official
I want you to be my guy
Will you go out with me
-- Kristjana G. - August 2003
Bitter Sweet Knowledge
Is it easy to hide
from what you feel?
Because the reality of it
makes it hard to deal.
is it easy to run
down an empty street?
so no one can hear
your conscious speak?
or is easier to say,
"I’d rather not try"
always knowing
it’s just a lie.
Or is it easier to accept
the realities of life.
knowing that the end result
is worth the fight.
The truth of which
is in your "Self."
The Bitter Sweet Knowledge,
of realism to "Self."
Boys And Girls
Boys go for looks,
Which at times can be deceiving.
Girls feel they’re in love,
This joke they keep believing.
Men are secure with their emotions,
And love their girl for who she is.
Women know when the love is fake,
And they know when to dismiss.
Boys only get with girls
To make ’em feel like the man.
Girls will do anything,
To get a boy to hold their hand.
Men know when the love is true,
For time has proved it so.
Women know love can change,
And they know when to let go.
Boys want what’s easy.
And Men want what will last.
Girls just want to feel special,
While women learn from their past.
Boys: a teenage girl point of view
I’ve learned that boys never grow up.
They follow me around like a lost little pup.
Later in life the boys become men.
They go through a new phase and start over again.
God must have put them on earth for a reason.
It’s just too bad they have to be here every season.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes they’re okay.
They even make me warm and fuzzy by the end of the day.
I’ll learn to deal with them as I go on with my life.
Maybe someday I’ll become a fine wife.
Breathe; Push
it closely breathes by
standing in front of love’s entrance
holds the
door open for cohort’s exits
believable
it still stands
by and by, we
take in the air
keeping it under mind behind frames
with lies just to
sort out their own happiness
of lies
anger
HATE!
THEY shoo love away
we start out from the beginning
finish finished
again
the limitless light
no limit
no
on the ground
bitter pills in my mouth, soaked with saliva of a loser
capsules filled with depression I used to try to end this story
as I spit
upon my plate of God
we got out strong
we beat you
I beat you
I stand
tall
don’t push me down
don’t
push us down
you can’t
push us down
inner strength
personal ability to be strong
stand together
open
doors
open openings
no more finished
don’t walk away
I’ve grown my
cradle
stand up for yourself and your belief
FISTS IN THE AIR!
C
Can this be!
Can this be you, holding me, touching me, kissing me
Can this be you or maybe
it’s my mind playing tricks on me
Can this be you touching me in thoughts
You know can this be you or is my mind playing tricks on me?
Can this be you.
Can We be together!
When I look at you make my eyes light up like fireworks
When you hold me
in your arms I feel your warm embracement
You make me feel so warm inside
Can we be together forever?
When you kiss me all my pain and stress goes away
Can we be together forever?
Change My Attitude
I don’t know how you did it, but you did it very well.
He brought out all my weaknesses so every one could tell.
The next weekend he called me up just to see how I felt.
And as I talked to him I said I was all right.
And as you hang up and I start to cry.
I realized you aren’t even worth the try.
Confused
I can’t sit still, my mind is blurry,
But you can’t understand that I’m in a hurry.
I feel like I have to make up my mind quick,
And jump over that candlestick,
That candlestick is a choice that’s making me sick,
Whether it’s remaining friends or moving closer,
When I see you I feel like I’ve been on a huge roller coaster.
You make me feel special as your friend and maybe more,
But I’m just not sure of what will make my heart less sore.
I worry if something happens, will we still be friends,
We said that nothing would happen to ruin us in the end.
I cry when I think I’m making the wrong decision,
My life depends on if I figure out this mission.
I don’t get what I should say,
I mean we see each other everyday.
My heart doesn’t want to be broken,
So how should this be spoken?
We’re total opposites in looks,
But in our personalities we like all the same books.
We might not make the cutest item,
But when we’re together we look behind em’.
You’re my friend unlike any other,
I can trust you with my secrets not like my brother.
You play with my hair, you gave me a nickname,
My life seems like a hard video game.
I frustrate myself all the time,
I wish I could go out with you and dine.
My life is confusing to me, how about you,
If you want to know what’s wrong I could name just a few.
If you make my life feel so well, then why does every minute seem not okay,
And by the way,
This is sort of your fault,
Sometimes I feel like I’m trapped in a cult.
I know that you like some one else,
And maybe me too, but I can’t see that your heart melts,
Like mine does when I see you,
With the things that you do.
I wish I had more to say,
But I think I’ll call it a day.
Of writing this poem about how I’m confused,
And how all this thinking is making my heart feel abused.
I really like you and that’s about it, so now I think I’ll call it quits.
Confused
I don’t know what to do
Cause I thought I was over you;
But I guess it wasn’t true.
And now we constantly talk
And away I try to walk
But these feelings I can’t block.
You’re taken and I know
And these feelings I try not to show
Suddenly begin to Grow.
I push you away from my mind
But its hard cause you’re so kind
Am I wasting all my time?
Now I am quite confused
Though my heart is badly bruised
But its you I just can’t lose.
Cry After Cry
"We, the people of the United States,
in order to form a more perfect Union..."
Post invisible signs.
Whites Only.
O'dale Vato.
'Sup Homie.
Label ourselves.
Label others.
Give our money to
Single, crack addicted mothers
So she can go buy more
While Junior sleeps in rags on the floor...
Cry after cry.
What ever happened to
The American Dream?
F. Scott Fitzgerald's been long forgotten,
And Mom's apple pie's gone rotten,
Junior sleeps in rags on the floor.
Cry after cry
For racial equality.
And 40 years after King had A Dream...
We still haven't learned, and we won't.
His birthday? A day off.
He was the first true King of America,
And the schools don't teach us a thing.
And on my day off, I watch the parade on my TV screen
While the crack whore lets her
Junior sleep in rags on the floor...
Cry after cry.
The government says
The power's with the people.
That's news to me!
Walk down the street!
Ask the "powerful people" how they feel.
I can't make a difference
They'll cry.
Whether I vote for Hillary or Bill or that other guy.
Fitzgerald's American Dream?
It's become laziness.
Don't see immediate results?
Give Up.
From Abortion to the Ab Roller,
From Rebuilding Iraq to Building Up Your Wallet...
To Junior sleeping in rags on the floor.
Cry after cry
For The American Dream,
King's Dream,
My Dream:
Dream without sleeping.
Make a change.
Live up to your name as a Free American.
Always ask: who? Why?
And ya know what?
Don't let Junior cry anymore.
He belongs on a pedestal
Not on the floor.
Open up your eyes and Dream!
Junior could be the next Martin Luther King!
Trade in his rags for riches...
Cause in my eye,
Hope is his Dream. And Dream is what
Junior does in rags on the floor...
Cry after Cry.
D
Dad
Though it's been years now
Since you were taken away
The memories are still strong
And I wish you were with me today
I still wake in the night
Crying aloud and calling your name
It's so hard to realize you're gone
And that things will never be the same
Sometimes I talk to you
Though you probably do not hear
I really need to talk to someone because of all my hurt and fear
I wonder if you see me now
If so I hope you're proud
To see all I've survived through
But that chance is not allowed
If I could see you once again
You know what I would do
Release all of my emotions
And say, "Dad, I love you"
But if I could have my real wish
You know what I would do
Leave this cold, lonely world
And come to be with you
Deep Inside
Please don't judge me by my face,
by my religion or my race.
Please don't laugh at what I wear,
or how I look or do my hair.
Please look a little deeper,
way down deep inside.
And although you may not see it,
I have a lot to hide.
Behind my clothes the secrets lie,
behind my smile, I softly cry.
Please look a little deeper, and maybe you will see.
The lonely little girl that lives inside of me.
Please listen carefully to her,
she`ll show that she is insecure.
Please try to be a friend to her,
and show her that you care.
Please just get to know her,
and maybe you will see.
That if you just look deep enough,
you`ll find the real me.
Depression
When you are depressed you feel like
Everything is your fault.
So much so you want to put your life to a sudden halt.
You feel like the world and the people in it
Would be better off without you
You feel it so much that you know it is true.
You feel so shut out and alone to the that
Your depression has grown.
You hurt so much inside to the point you want to scream and shout
You would think that all that would end with a simple suicide note.
You feel so invisible like you’re not there
Your whole life could pass you by and you wouldn’t care.
People just think you are joking and going through a stage.
But no one is laughing once you are in that coffin case.
You put on this whole act like you are fine and okay
But no one knows you are hurting and you don’t want to stay.
(On earth that is)
Do You Know
Do you know what it's like
To love someone so much
But then to find out
Your love wasn't enough
To have your heart break
In the blink of an eye?
To have the thought of losing them
Make you want to lay down and die?
Do you know how it feels
To cry yourself to sleep at night
Wishing they were there to hold you
And tell you "everything'll be alright"?
Do you know what it's like
To miss someone so bad
To know that their love
Was the best you ever had?
I wonder...
Do you know how it feels?
Don’t Act
Don’t act like you care when you really don’t
Don’t act like you’ll be there when you really won’t
Don’t tell me you love me when you can’t even hug me
I’ve been searching for an answer...give me something...anything
Won’t you please stop acting?
"I didn’t mean it that way, but you know how I play."
"I didn’t mean it that time, but you know it’s on my mind."
See, I try to work it out...I try, yes, I try
But it seems like you don’t want to ’cause all you do is run and hide
And that’s just you...that’s all you know how to do
So tell me baby, why couldn’t we just be
The best of friends and live happily
Well obviously we couldn’t figure this out
’Cause all we did was scream and shout
Don’t act like you care when you really don’t
Don’t act like you’ll be there when you really won’t
Don’t tell me that you love me when u can’t even hug me
I’ve been searching for an answer...give me something...anything
Well I wish things could be better, but it’s too late for that
I’m hoping that maybe someday you’ll grow up and face the facts
You weren’t a man about it
You couldn’t be depended on
You did things when you knew they were wrong
So baby listen up cause you’ll be needing me when I’m gone
This time you really bit the bullet face first
I always knew you would, must’ve been some kind of curse
Don’t Hate
You’re mad cause I let your man hit, girl you need to quit.
He’s telling his boys "yeah I hit that"
I’m telling you, "girl I got that."
So go home now and cry, cry over me
Because what I am you’ll never be.
You wonder why he closes his eyes every time ya’ll are loving?
I know why, cause it’s me he wishes he was hugging.
A guy has to be stupid to choose you over me.
I’m the girl he fantasizes about, I am the girl you wanna be.
You say you love him, awe that’s so sweet,
I’m the girl with who you can’t compete.
Don’t even try cause you know I’ll win.
Please no playa hatin’ cause jealousy is a sin.
Don’t Mind Me
Don’t mind me as I dream
of the things you have not seen
in people that you talk to everyday
For I have found what you have not
some may call it perfect
others a dream
but I have found it and it is true
not all people are shallow
who depend on outter beauty
and not inner like the one I show to everyone
don’t mind me as I dream
of a perfect world that has no shallowness
and everyone looks to the inner beauty
if only you were to experience such a dream like mine
you’d be on cloud 9 and feel light as a feather
for that’s how I feel
Don’t mind me as I dream
Dreams
Dreams come to your mind late at night while you are fast asleep.
Sometimes you wake up never knowing what you dreamed of,
Sometimes sleep never comes because you believe you can’t dream.
And when you do it’s not of love or some spectacular feeling you ever felt before,
Instead it’s of your own demons that feed off your soul until you feel like you can’t go on.
And you wake up to sweat-covered sheets and your own rapid breathing.
But then there are the dreams that make you want it so much to come true.
Of love, happiness, laughter and joy- so many of life’s precious feelings.
Then night comes and tears caress your pillow because those feelings will never come
And you drift off to that magical land where for hours which seem like minutes,
you’re happy.
As teenagers we dream magical dreams and dreams that we want to come true.
Dancing was all I ever dreamed about when I was a little girl.
The rhythm of exotic music would fill my ears and move my body.
Watching Center Stage or going to a ballet even at a club would bring a smile
to my face.
But that smile would abruptly come to a halt as soon as I heard my mother’s voice,
You’ll never be skinny or pretty enough to fit into one of those leotards.
Would haunt me in my dreams until I let myself let go of the one thing I loved to do.
I go through life day by day and see the emptiness in people’s eyes and pain fills my heart.
It’s like someone ripped these young kid’s souls out of their bodies and it brings back memories.
Whether it is because of drugs and alcohol, suicide or abuse, heartaches or divorce,
I saw one thing that made me dream of a more logical and helpful life.
I went through many things in my short time on Earth and my advice is all I can give to these young kids.
And this time I will stand strong and ignore you.
You’re not smart enough to become a psychologist or why be around depressed people all day long.
This is what I chose for MY life, not anyone else’s.
So mom, you may have ruined your life and crushed my life-long dream.
But this time I won’t let somebody, especially you, stand in my way to help people dream dreams of happiness and the rest of life’s most precious feelings.
E
Even Though You’re Not My Father
I was told you were my father.
Unfortunately god took you away,
Before I could say the word father.
But to me it does not matter,
I know I had a father,
And I know that my father loved me.
I might not visit you often, father,
But in my mind you always visit me.
I was only a child,
But it does not matter,
I know that for my childhood you loved me so.
I take you white flowers to match your white gown and wings.
I was told you were my father,
So what if you’re not,
To me you’re my angel
That guides me day and night.
Every Time
Every time I see couples hug and kiss,
It makes me remember us, and you I start to miss.
Every time I hear your name,
I just want to cry and I feel nothing but shame.
Every time I see you at school,
our past together I think of and it hurts but my heart you stole.
Every time our eyes meet for so long,
I start to feel the love that used to be so strong.
Every time I hear ringing from the phone,
I answer hoping to hear your voice but I stay endlessly sad and alone.
Every time I check you out you always look good,
to have you back as mine I wish I could.
Every time I think of what would happen if I’d never had you,
I realize I wouldn’t be who I am. You gave me love and you showed me love
That really is true.
Every time you walk by me I get that feeling inside,
and I know you do too but it’s hard for me, no longer my feelings can I hide.
So please, come back to me. You’re the only guy that I’ve loved so much and
cared for,
I’d do anything for you, I need you this time. Not having you makes my
heart broken and tore.
Expensive Love
Their love is sweet and true,
And it is good lesson for me and you.
Their love for them is so expensive,
Although for us it’s too intensive.
They keep each other like a treasure,
We think of it as it is pleasure.
They show the world their precious ways,
It brightens all our days.
They hold each other up so tight,
The world is crying from such sight.
They love each other in their hearts,
For that their love will never dominate in parts.
F
Feel’ns
What am I feel’n today?
Am I feel’n sad, mad, or glad?
What makes me happy?
Only one person knows the things that make me sing.
Not his rings, just the little things.
Like on my birthday I just want to lay beside him as he tells me I’m beautiful
And how much he wants to be there
Then I start to see that the small things are what I need.
So if you feel low then go out and find the little things for you and your love that the one above has given you.
