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Poetry 2003 - Sorted By Date

December 2003

Dad

Though it's been years now
Since you were taken away
The memories are still strong
And I wish you were with me today

I still wake in the night
Crying aloud and calling your name
It's so hard to realize you're gone
And that things will never be the same

Sometimes I talk to you
Though you probably do not hear
I really need to talk to someone because of all my hurt and fear

I wonder if you see me now
If so I hope you're proud
To see all I've survived through
But that chance is not allowed

If I could see you once again
You know what I would do
Release all of my emotions
And say, "Dad, I love you"

But if I could have my real wish
You know what I would do
Leave this cold, lonely world
And come to be with you

Cry After Cry

"We, the people of the United States,
in order to form a more perfect Union..."
Post invisible signs.

Whites Only.
O’dale Vato.
‘Sup Homie.

Label ourselves.
Label others.
Give our money to
Single, crack addicted mothers
So she can go buy more
While Junior sleeps in rags on the floor...
Cry after cry.
What ever happened to
The American Dream?
F. Scott Fitzgerald’s been long forgotten,
And Mom’s apple pie’s gone rotten,
Junior sleeps in rags on the floor.
Cry after cry
For racial equality.
And 40 years after King had A Dream...
We still haven’t learned, and we won’t.
His birthday? A day off.
He was the first true King of America,
And the schools don’t teach us a thing.
And on my day off, I watch the parade on my TV screen
While the crack whore lets her
Junior sleep in rags on the floor...
Cry after cry.
The government says
The power’s with the people.
That’s news to me!
Walk down the street!
Ask the "powerful people" how they feel.

I can’t make a difference
They’ll cry.
Whether I vote for Hillary or Bill or that other guy.

Fitzgerald’s American Dream?
It’s become laziness.
Don’t see immediate results?
Give Up.
From Abortion to the Ab Roller,
From Rebuilding Iraq to Building Up Your Wallet...
To Junior sleeping in rags on the floor.
Cry after cry
For The American Dream,

King’s Dream,
My Dream:
Dream without sleeping.
Make a change.
Live up to your name as a Free American.
Always ask: who? Why?
And ya know what?
Don’t let Junior cry anymore.
He belongs on a pedestal
Not on the floor.
Open up your eyes and Dream!
Junior could be the next Martin Luther King!
Trade in his rags for riches...
Cause in my eye,
Hope is his Dream. And Dream is what
Junior does in rags on the floor...
Cry after Cry.

The Date

Its Friday night, a quarter till eight.
Your friend says, "Smile! It's only a date."
Little does she know the secret you've kept behind,
The little lie kept out of sight.
He shows up with a dozen roses,
But you try to stay in focus.
All you can see is the pain and guilt,
No one knows your world has been a tilt.
Then you notice he's not most guys.
Some just try to get along with their lies.
When the night's over, he kisses you goodnight,
Now you know everything's gonna be all right.
Till the next time, you can't wait.
After all, it's only a date.

You Were A Great Brother And Son

It seems like just yesterday that I met you,
The day my sister brought you home
You were with some of your friends
Not once did you travel alone.
I loved it when I saw you,
You and your smile,
I loved it when we talked,
We talked for quite a while.
We hung out for a whole summer,
Then suddenly stopped to talk,
I saw you this past Sunday
Wow, I was in shock.
As night passed, I felt the feeling of sadness
As my heart went pounding
This news I am hearing is completely astounding
You were a great brother and son
To your parents and siblings,
They will always and forever,
Be in the process of healing.
Tonight is the night
I say goodbye to you in your coffin
Just remember you may be gone,
But will never be forgotten.

Please Forgive Me For All Of My Sins In Life

Please forgive me for all of my sins
I would name them all, but I don't know where to begin
I swear I was listening when you taught me wrong from right,
But I chose the wrong way, and then I lost the fight
Please forgive me for all of my sins in life
Even considering I made the same sins twice
I know I lied and said what I did wasn't true,
But please forgive me,
For I'd be lost without you.
I know I was wrong for doing what I did,
Please forgive me, for I am just a kid.

When Will I Be . . .

When will I be old enough to do the things I want to do?
When will I be tall enough to be eye level with you?
When will I be brave enough to climb a mountain high?
When will I be smart enough to forecast the weather in the sky?
When will I be pretty enough to model for a magazine?
When will I be artistic enough to make a color scheme?
When will I be popular enough to be in the "A" crowd?
When will I be loud enough to scream real loud?

You Never Know How Much You Care For Someone Until They Are Gone

Did you know how much I loved you?
Did you know how much I cared?
You left without a warning,
You left me in despair.
If I knew your life was going to be so limited,
I would have spent more time with you,
Possibly every single minute.
I see its true what they say,
You never know how much you care for someone
Until they are gone.
I would do anything to go back,
And fix the things that went wrong.
Although your physical appearance
Is no longer visible to me,
I know you'll be in the clouds listening,
Every night before I go to sleep.

I Am Extremely Sorry, Mom

How do I face it?
The fact that I was wrong,
I had been despicable
This time all along.
You brought me life,
And made yours mine.
You dedicated your whole life to me,
Every second of your time.
So how could this be,
I show you no respect in return?
It was blurry, but it all came clear
And now I am able to understand.
The concerns you have are because you care,
Whenever I need you,
You are always there.
We are fighting constantly,
Trying to make things right
It's my fault, I am the cause
I found that out this very night.
I know I can't take back causing you stress
But believe me when I say, I love being your daughter
I feel truly blessed.
Please accept my apology,
For without you I'd be lost.
Please know I would do anything to fix things,
I'd pay any cost
I am extremely sorry, Mom,
Unfortunately I can't change what has been done
But know I'll continue loving you, forever and then some.

Why?

Why do seasons change, season by season?
Why do things happen, for no apparent reason?
Why does the year consist of 365 days?
Why do certain street signs say caution to kids at play?
Why do some people have to live out on the streets?
Why when playing soccer, do you have to wear shoes called cleats?
Why do some things go on without knowing?
But most importantly, why am I sitting here writing this poem?

Fight Back

My heart was there,
For you to take.
I thought this was real,
But you turned out fake.

You lied to me,
In many ways that you can't see.
You broke my heart,
And for that I wasn't ready.

You thought you were smooth,
And you thought you were good.
But now I'm here to treat you
Like everyone else should!

You thought you had won,
When you hurt me with your lie.
You thought I would back down,
And break down and cry.

But NO!
I'm not here to please you!
I'm here for revenge,
On what you put me through.

I still love you,
But I've put that aside.
I've come to hurt you,
Because you lied!

This sweetheart you once loved,
Is all ready to put up a fight.
A hard punch to your left eye,
And a good one to the right!

So what's wrong tough guy?
Amazed by what you see?
Of course you are!
This couldn't possibly be me!

Hurting me made you feel
Like you were on top of the world.
But now you tell me....
How does it feel to be beat by a girl?

Untitled

If you see me with tears in my eyes,
Don't worry or look surprised.
If you see me with tears in my eyes,
Know at that moment I've cried my last cry.
Your love was like a hostile takeover
In which I was left with no options.
But baby, my life is better behind the tears,
There is no pain or fears.
So if you see me with tears in my eyes,
Don't worry, my baby,
Behind the tears there is joy inside that words can't describe.
It took a lot of time to finally release the poisonous venom you left inside of me,
Now I'm cured,
I've cried my last cry.

A Blind Journey to Find That One Love

Is there someone you feel you were meant to be with?
But constantly make the signs fade away?
Concealing them with disregard,
Too fearful and afraid.
You have these forever lasting feelings for him
That you always try and hide.
You go on endless journeys searching for that one love,
Not ever realizing that you’re blind.
When you’re with him you feel like you’re only his,
Wanting his arms to be wrapped around you.
Other days you want to stay far away,
But it’s every day you don’t know what to do.
On cold and rainy nights, you sit around and talk
Sometimes you just stare and think.
When there’s often this comfortable silence,
That only he could bring.
There are times when you wonder if you should be together,
But most of the time try not to think of it at all.
Are you suppose to be friends, is he your soul mate?
Will he be at the bottom to catch you if you fall?
You have these forever lasting feelings for him
That you always try and hide.
You go on endless journeys searching for that one love,
Not ever realizing that you’re blind.
You can be your true self only around him,
Not caring about who or what’s around.
Feeling like you can do anything,
And completely satisfied with this friend you’ve found.
Sometimes you want to hold his hand,
Just so that you can feel safe.
You still never fully understand why that is,
When you’re with him, it’s just a feeling you crave.
You have these forever lasting feelings for him
That you always try and hide.
You go on endless journeys searching for that one love,
Not ever realizing that you're blind.
Believing that you’re just meant to be friends
Is this small thought running through your mind?
But there’s a stronger thought believing you’re meant to be together,
And it often makes you cry.
Are you not completely sure,
If all these feelings you have are real?
Do you want to just pause everything, and give it more time,
To figure out how you truly feel?
You have these constant worries,
Imagining that it would never work.
You’re not sure that you can love enough,
And you’re afraid of getting hurt.
You get restless wondering what he’d be like to kiss.
Getting this inquisitive feeling of thought.
Will it be breathtaking and soothing as you expect?
You’re nervous to find out if it would be or not.
You have these forever lasting feelings for him
That you always try and hide.
You go on endless journeys searching for that one love,
Not ever realizing that you’re blind.
Are there long nights when you just can’t seem to sleep?
When you stay up for hours talking to him on the phone.
Are there those times you feel that he is right beside you,
Or maybe you want him to be and you’re really alone.
All your feelings and emotions for him are endless,
But you still don't realize that you’re blind.
Following that endless journey in circles,
Leading back to that friend who can be that one love in your life.
You have these forever lasting feelings for him.
Understand that they will never disappear.
Stop trying to always hide them,
And face love: your biggest fear.

Random Thoughts

Random thoughts flow through my mind, leading me to creative ways
Expressing what's rushing through my head
My body dead asleep
But look deep
'Cause if you could see the thinking goin' on
It would be much like rush-hour traffic
One thought backed up behind another
And on and on
My thoughts are almost like the song that never ends
A continuous flow and a deep rhythm and beat
These thoughts stay on paper drowned in ink
Dreaming to be heard
Jumping to be seen
As I sit in this realm of randomness
I realize my thoughts are much like the life of some others and me
You see just like any thought
We're lost within our purpose
Trapped, waiting to get out.

I Don't Know You Anymore

What's up, Busta?
How you doin'?
I thought I knew ya,
now whatcha doin'?
Always flirtin',
don't go and blow it.
You've changed so much
And don't even know it!

I tried to tell ya to
look at yo' self for
once in your life,
vying for health.
Every day,
you drift away.
Oh boy please say
U won't sway.

Untitled

You know when it happens,
you know when it's right.
Your breath stops in an instant,
and your heart takes a flight.
There is no description,
to tell how you feel.
The only thing you think of,
is the fact that it's real.
It makes you feel,
like nothing else.
You no longer think,
of only yourself.
When you give and receive this special gift.
You'll get down on your knees,
and thank heavens above.
For you have discovered,
this thing called Love

Love

Love is a word I hear often
Many say it without meaning it
Used to describe more than just liking
With one meaning never true

Love is a feeling of contentment
Said to get what is desired
Proceeding to leave deception
Never to be substantial

Love is no fun and all games
It is painful when it is believed
Sorrowful when it is not said
You are to be lonely without it

Love is a way of corruption
No one loves a high school sweetie
Everyone loves what can't be theirs
Someone loves someone else

Love is for a moment in time
It can be forever remembered
Or lost after a week
One thing is for sure...

Love is love

November 2003

Do You Know

Do you know what it's like
To love someone so much
But then to find out
Your love wasn't enough

To have your heart break
In the blink of an eye?
To have the thought of losing them
Make you want to lay down and die?

Do you know how it feels
To cry yourself to sleep at night
Wishing they were there to hold you
And tell you "everything'll be alright"?

Do you know what it's like
To miss someone so bad
To know that their love
Was the best you ever had?

I wonder...
Do you know how it feels?

Momentary Loss of Sanity

Plays a part in my everyday
Life seems to fall apart
Exactly the same way
Over dramatized, over analyzed
Never as simple as I would like to think
Completely unlike what I would like be
Fluctuating depression
An overpopulated mind
Too many voices
A destination that’s unlikely to find
Drowning in redundancy
The deterioration of my kind

Untitled

The wind blows through your hair when you can't feel it and hits you like a wave.

Untitled

When I say I love you I mean it,
When I say I love you I do,
When I say I love you are you going to say it too?
When I say I love you I mean it, I truly do!

Opposite

Sticks and stones won't break my bones
Cause words do that to me

I am the opposite, the opposite of what life should be
This isn't my fault, the way people treat me
This is why I see opposite

I like people who are like me, never, ever preps, can't you see?
Opposites don’t attract for me

Preps are too stuck up to see different ways, so punks and goths are not to be
seen with them

I am the opposite of what life should be
the opposite yes that’s me

Queen Mab’s Apprentice

She dances in the shadows
In the wildest of exotic fantasies
Full of intoxicating mysteries
The most sinful of all desires.
So sweet, so pure, so graceful
Evoking love from the most desolate of places
A siren calling to her eager sailors
One glimpse can seduce the strongest of wills
She is farther from reality than the smallest star
She raises energy, raises excitement, raises completeness
The most beautiful woman
A man could ever see
She is what they want
And what I could never be.

Loveless Fate

You’re walking down a lightless path
That leads to a twisted trail
And you’re falling down
Down
And it never ends.
You don’t know where you’re going
And you forgot where you’ve been
It’s all the same
And you never get to where you’re going
It’s all the same
All devoured in flame
Just a part of the game.
Just wait
Another loveless fate.
The tunnel is dark
And you just can’t see
You’re so lost
Lost
And you can’t find your way.
You don’t know what comes next and you don’t know what happened
But you don’t care.
It’s all the same.
All devoured in flame.
Just a part of the game
Just wait
Another loveless fate.
The fog chokes you
And you can’t pull through
You’re drowning
Drowning
And you can’t breathe
You don’t know how to get through
And you don’t know how you got here
It doesn’t matter
Anymore
Because it’s all the same
Burning with shame
Change your name
Always late
Wasted fate
All the same devoured in flame
Part of the game
Just wait
Another loveless fate
Another loveless fate
Loveless fate.

Ode to the Super Heroes of My Generation

They give their lives to make the world a better place.
They stand for truth, justice, peace, and equality.
They protect the lives and rights of the innocent.
They are the super heroes of my generation.

To our newest heroes, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.
For giving their lives to protect Bikini Bottom
And coming out of retirement
When evil is afoot.

To Quail Man for saving
The pretty, precious and pure Patti Mayonnaise
And an honest dog with more integrity than most humans,
The ever faithful, Quail Dog.

To Really Really Big Man for zooming to save
Innocent and mistreated marsupials from modern life.
And for using his special talents to reveal the future
And save nauseous turtles from a terrible fate.

To the earth, fire, wind, water, and heart powers of Captain Planet.
He saved the environment and animals from destruction,
And like a preacher, he converted a generation of children
Into tree-hugging environmentalists.

To the Power Rangers, the mighty dinosaurs of the 1990s.
They taught kids the importance of teamwork and self-defense
While saving the world from destruction
In really cool spandex outfits.

To Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael
For being able to accept their mutated turtle form
Having open minds to the wisdom of Splinter
And always being ready to take Shredder down town.

And last, but not least, to Mr. Rogers
For showing kids the important things in life,
Kindness, respect, honesty
And the ability to properly zip jackets and tie shoes.

Thank you, super heroes,
For making the world a safe place.

Untitled

I laugh, I cry, I bleed, I'll die
Without you in my life
I smile, I shine, with tears in my eyes,
If I'm not happy come and get me tonight. . .
Here all alone in the shadows of night,
Where it's dark and lonely inside,
I’m scared and you're not there
But I am strong right here forever in the sky
Standing on the bridge in the coldness,
Crying to the water in the night,
Waiting for you to come and rescue me, I'll be waiting all night.

Untitled

I've taken a trip with no plans to return
365, 24/7 -- it's only you I yearn
It all started years ago
You were giving me nothing less, just more
The first time you spoke to me
The first time you touched me
The first time being held by you
I had no other choice I fell in love with you
The times regardless good or bad I still cherish
Everything even from back then I cherish
As we parted my heart was left in pain for days
I wished and hoped and prayed for many more days
I get you back again and problems arise
Deep down all the pain I feel you realize
I love you so much so I'm fighting so hard
People say its best for the long run yet it's so hard
I can't let you slip away and to never come back
But I'm one in a million baby you will come back
I want to be the one who's always by your side
I'm in this for the long difficult ride
I want to hold your last name
Mrs. Phillips they call me
I want to be the mother of your beautiful baby
I want to let the haters know you aren't going anywhere
You only give your love to me I'm greedy and don't share
You're the sunlight to my grayest skies
Together we can face every problem that shall arise
You hold my heart so be careful please don't shatter it
Don't tell me lies or just hurt me; that will definitely break it
Seven months strong we are definitely going to make it last
You're my first, only, and last
Every simple joke enlightens my soul
Whenever you touch me I feel I'm made of gold
Those eyes that melt me with a glance
Always want to just hug, hold, and kiss like the last chance
I think about you every step of the way
I know hopefully you'll never go away
I can't see being so deeply in love without you
You know for sure you my only BooBoo
I need you in my life
You make all simple things right
So DEEPLY in love with you I admit
When you're around I'm a candle that's completely lit.

Untitled

love is when you love a person
not only because they're there
but because you enjoy their company
love is so unpredictable
you never really know when or what is going to happen next
love is something so unique and special
love is when couples struggle not only by themselves
but together as a team
love is not always about pleasure and play toys
but about happiness and joy
love is not always about your lover's appearance
but about your lover's personality and actions
is love when a lover likes nothing but your body?
no, love is when your lover doesn't care how you look on the outside
but what's really in the inside
love is so good at times
but if I was you I wouldn't plan on it any time soon
but if it does happen always be ready for the worst
and always feel the same about your lover as best as you can

Untitled

When I am alone
I picture your green eyes
When I talk to you on the phone
I need no disguise.

You love me for who I am
I love you for who you are
We will be together forever
Underneath the stars.

I’ve loved you since the beginning
I just have never known
All this time complaining
And now our love has grown.

I love you more than anything.
More than anyone ever could
I really hope you feel the same.
And love me like you should.

I never want to lose you
I love you way too much
You say you're going to move,
But I can't lose your touch.

I love you with all my heart
Do you feel the same?
Hoping we’ll never be apart,
In this picture perfect frame

All my feelings are real
Are yours real too?
Trust in everything I feel
And I will trust in you

I never thought I could love
As much as I do with you
You’re my angel from above
My feelings are so deep and true

You’re the only one in my heart
And to live without you,
Would tear my world apart

Love?

That is a big word for a man your size
Are you sure you mean it
I don't see it in your eyes

That is a big commitment for a person of your standard
Are you positive you want it?
It's not something you can't handle?

That is a big job for a human like yourself
Are you for real about it?
You don't have much wealth?

Yes, you say
You're ready for this
I'm not sure I can grant your wish.

You see this whole time I've questioned through and through,
It is I who is not ready to love you!!

A Crush

She smiles at him
hoping he notices.
She lends him a pen
hoping he'll remember her.
She lets him copy off her homework
that he forgot to do.
But still he'd rather go to HER.
She knows it's just a crush
but he'll never know
nor remember her.

Rose Colored Eyes

The rose-colored glasses shield your eyes.
You’re locked into a world that most people can only fantasize.
Flowing falls and garland flowers fill your vision,
Happiness is the only mission.
In this world of shimmering light,
The creatures are naïve and not too bright.
Now, let’s remove those frames for just a moment now,
And view the world from unbiased eyes.
Scary, isn’t it?
You can’t hide from real life,
And there are always people by your side.
They won’t let you fall or cave or die.
But please don’t return to your rose-colored eyes.
The grace and beauty of that other world,
Come, impart that here.
This world needs all the help it can get.
Please, don’t run in fear,
Stay in this world now, and don’t disappear.
Take help where you can find it,
And please, always keep in mind
You aren’t all alone in this scary place,
We’re always here to help each other,
Each member of mankind.

Midnight Dreams

It's the dark of the night,
And I'm dreaming sweet dreams,
He falls into my sight,
And I don't know what it means.

Because he left me for somebody new,
And she is there at his side,
But I don't know what to do,
For it hurts deep down inside.

Then she tells him to say he loves her,
And I wait for the words to burn,
But he just looks away and says, "I can't" as she disappears,
Then he walks up to me making my heart churn.

And he confesses,"I love you."
I cry in his arms,
I say, "I love you, too."
It just seems like I'll never be harmed.

And he just holds me,
Then gives a kiss oh so sweet,
I feel so free,
Knocked right off my feet.

I pray that it never will cease.
Then my alarm rings,
And the sweetness I release.
Then the pain starts to sting.

I see you everywhere,
And I feel so blue for I can't have you.
Oh, why does it hurt to care?
Won't someone please tell me what in the world I should do?

Lost Feeling...

I used to cry of sorrows
with tears bursting from the eyes

I used swim deep in the oceans
and fly higher in the blue skies

But can you hear the lonesome
sounds of the wind around you

Never is true love a lie
but did you ever feel the winter dew

I float over the riverbeds
with dreams living a true day

I sing low and high
and flew over wings of the night away

Never is true friendship a lie
but did you ever go through harsh kindness

I used to cry of sorrows
with tears bursting from the eyes

I used swim deep in the oceans
and fly higher in the blue skies

But can you hear the lonesome
sounds of the wind around you

Never is true love a lie
but did you ever feel the winter dew

I wake at nights
with a shallow sleep in my eyes

I count the bright stars
twinkling across the wide black skies

But can you compare a thousand worlds
worth this true fortune opulent love

Never is love a lie
but can you cover me like the sky above is

OH!

I walk along the rocky paths
with no intimations of their destiny and fate

I pluck thorns and the daisies
and petal a difference of love and hate

I float over the riverbeds
with dreams living a true day

I sing low and high
and flew over wings of the night away

But can you see the lost colors
of the rainbows in clear blindness

Never is true friendship a lie
but did you ever go through harsh kindness

But yet was I unknown
I had the lost the feeling

Lost feeling

Getting Ready For The Prom

Getting ready for the prom
got my dress
my shoes, take my bath
do my hair, put my shoes on
Getting ready for the prom
put my make up on
take my pictures
but I forgot one thing
WHERE'S MY DATE!

October 2003

My love for you

Roses are red, violets are blue, no one can compare the love I have for you.
Locked deep in my heart are the feelings you never knew.
The love I have for you can never be broken.
The fire deep within my heart can never be blown out.
Even though I hide it, if you look deep into my eyes, deep enough to see my
soul you would know my love for you burns bright.
Instead I'll just tell you.
I love you with all my heart and soul.
This love for you will never die!

Untitled

Life is short, don't take it for granted.
Never lose hope, look at it from a different perspective.
Open your eyes, don't be narrow-minded.
Don't dwell on the pain when the grief has subsided.
Be happy in time of glee, be mournful in time of grief.
Never be afraid to turn over a new leaf.
Try again, if you're not chosen,
pick up the pieces, if your heart's been broken.
And if all else fails, just keep in mind,
God will always be there,
by your side.

Over

Even though we are over
I keep looking at you in that way,
The way I looked at you
When we first got together that day.
Whenever I see into your eyes
I feel all the times I was with you
Those late nights,
Every time you speak to me
I seem to always fall for you one more time
The way your smile gets me,
And how your lips used to find mine,
Is a constant reminder that I'm not
Completely over you not being mine, inside.

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It’s sad to me when people see what’s not meant to be.

He said, she said, Humbug.

Why won’t you hold my hand?

-Because you’re not holding mine.

Steve would have gotten that for me already!

-Yeah, which it explains Steve’s five-year prison term.

Why don’t you kiss me anymore?

-Are those fumes coming out of your mouth?

It makes me sad because I know that what they see, I see also but I cannot break her heart.

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out the window towards the sky
beyond the clouds and moonlight
there I reach for the answer
I plead for your understanding
in front of the candles
I light and pray
in this place I call your home
with its beautiful statues
I cry and ask only this: why?
are you sure this is the time?
aren't there enough angels
blessing the stars
and putting smiles on the faces
of old men ready to join them?
must you take mine?
the only one to put a smile
on my face in the bitter cold
or the intense heartache?
I have myself to give
I have my possessions to give
but I cannot give my angel
I cannot forgive or forget
so I scream in the woods
in the shower in the halls
in the vast empty field
in my vast empty eyes
let me have my angel
for an hour or a day
let me hold her one more time
and kiss her closed eyes
enclose those tiny fingers in mine
catch the light in her face
before it fades forever
and then take me for her
so she can finish the life I began
I will be eternally grateful
I pray to you
let angel stay

A Man Like You

To know a man like you is to know there will always be someone there
whose honesty I can depend on
and whose strength I can trust
It means knowing there will always be someone whose sense of humor can lighten me up
And whose advice can turn everything into perspective
It is knowing there will be that one special someone
whose touch can take me where nothing matters
but the two of us
It means havin' that special someone

Love

love is when you love a person
not only because they're there
but because you enjoy their company
love is so unpredictable
you never really know when or what is going to happen next
love is something so unique and special
love is when couples struggle not only by themselves
but together as a team
love is not always about pleasure and play toys
but about happiness and joy
love is not always about your lover's appearance
but about your lover's personality and actions
is love when a lover likes nothing but your body?
no, love is when your lover doesn't care how you look on the outside
but what's really in the inside
love is so good at times
but if I were you I wouldn't plan on it any time soon
but if it does happen always be ready for the worst
and always feel the same about your lover as best as you can

Love?

That is a big word for a man your size
Are you sure you mean it?
I don't see it in your eyes

That is a big commitment for a person of your standard
Are you positive you want it
It's not something you can't handle?

That is a big job for a human like yourself
Are you for real about it
You don't have much wealth?

Yes, you say
You're ready for this
I'm not sure I can grant your wish.

You see this whole time I've questioned through and through,
It is I who is not ready to love you!

Impatience

Jumping in my veins
Like a virus vying,
Struggling to burst through.
Wiggling my toes,
Letting anxiety
Burst through my speeding,
Tapping fingers.
Startling at any pop,
Any imaginary voice,
Hope has become irritating.
Bouncing my
Chubby leg.
Biting my
Chapped lips.
Staring at my
White ceiling.
Thinking
Out loud,
“What am I waiting for?”

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I don't know what to do whenever you're around.
I begin to freeze whenever you walk by.
I wanted to speak but my lips are tied.
I wanted to walk but my feet are stuck.

Maybe I should show my feelings,
maybe I could show my real self.
Maybe I should be relaxed whenever you walk by.

I dunno what to do.
I am so confused.

My mind goes blank whenever I see you.
I wanted to be your friend but I'm just too scared to do so.

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I'm waiting for you by your locker,
wondering and waiting,
when you'll come talk to her.
I live my life by the moment,
but I wait like this, and it sucks, don't it?
I wait and see,
if you and I were really meant to be.
To know is not too bad.
If I find who you are,
I definitely will not be mad.
I wonder as to what you will look like,
and are you going to come up on your bike?
I know you won't show up upon your horse,
and we won't meet on the beach shores.
I finally met you,
you seem so shy.
To me it caught my eye.
I think you have become my lust,
so I think I best show more bust.
I love you to death,
and I know why,
because I've always have loved the shy guys!
You seem so modest,
and so supreme,
you don't seem too horny
to meet your queen.
You I guess aren't the average boy teen!
So to all of the boys out there,
Don't be too aggressive,
otherwise you wont be the heir to your castle!

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I wanted to fly up in the sky.
I wanted to reach the heavens above.
During the day I wanted to see the things I don't feel.
If only I could see I would be happy.
But I was made like this with an eye that cannot be used.
An eye that has no purpose in the world where I belong.
I wanted to fit in with the people around,
but they pushed me away like an animal that's been trapped in a pound.
If only I could see.

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When I was with you I felt something I've never felt before.
Such a feeling that drop through.
This feeling made me very happy.
Through the night I looked at the moon and saw your face
drawn in the sky.
Stars sparkle in me like your eyes.
Every morning I see you smile at me like the sun in the sky.
I want to be with you but something is blocking the two of us.
How many years do I have to wait?
I wanted to wish that those years were over and we'll be together
like the stars and moon.
But it's better like this because I know soon the right time
will come for the two of us.
I love you, so I'll wait until the right time comes through.
Maybe, just maybe, I'll be with you.
I love you through the end of our lives.

It's Over

I'd laugh, you'd cry
you'd crawl, you'd fall, I'd fly
I'd sing, you'd sigh
we failed because only you tried

Love was a game I played
your feelings hurt, I know you hurt
because I strayed, your love I betrayed
you can't stay another lonely day
cause its too late

Its too late to think about
all the good times
Too soon to forget about the bad
It's too late to save a loved that shined
and that's so sad
It's so hard to forget the feelings shared
It's too late to show you how much I cared
It's too late
way too late for that

I cry, you laugh
you're not the same
your feelings have changed
in a flash
Now I want, I need you back
but it's too late, way too late for that

People change from day to day
you have changed, your feelings caged
I wish I'd stayed
our love we could have saved
now it's too late for that

September 2003

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Moonlight sprinkles its glory on the sand,
We walk hand in hand,
As we leave footprints on their hearts,
Smiles in the sun,
Tell me you’re the one.

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We see the dead and the dead will laugh
We preach about knowing the life after death
We walk around pretending there is a heaven or hell
How do we know?
I guess we don’t
We look at the dead in our dreams
They dance in the ballroom, happily
They disappear
We wonder why
They reappear
They ask us to dance
We tell them not yet
They laugh and proceed to dance with someone else
We see the dead and the dead will laugh
We don’t know what happens in the afterlife
We make up the afterlife
Irony?
Not really, just me

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adolescent love
the wink of an eye,
a toss of hair,
grasp of hand,
arm snug around a waist
and movie theatre romance.

Just

I’m just in awe
Just so confused
I just don’t know
What just to do

Scary heart beats
Odd little thoughts
Just in a haze
Just feel so lost

Feel like I’m on air
In my own little world
Just so empty
Just so not there

Never felt this way before
Where I don’t know what I think anymore
Where my world is fine just the day before
And suddenly it just comes crashing to the floor

Where I can’t think straight
Or just stay on any one thought
’Cuz I’m just so confused
Just I’m just so lost.

Not Just One Woman’s Story

Screams of an aging woman seeking for a way out
Dreams of a girl abused left with memories of his silent touches, he has imprinted her heart with many doubts
Oh! Mother, why did he touch me? Yet he did not treasure me
As a shepherd watches over his flock, and one goes astray
I was the voiceless lamb that lost her way
They would instead look me in the face, and many would pass me by, going on with their day
Hurt, divorced, single, widowed, and abused; that you may be
As you walk outside of your home tomorrow, you may be looking at me
Realizing this is Not Just One Woman’s Story.

Love to friends

I’m going to that place again,
Where I did not want to be,
I’m falling deep into this hole
Without you here by me.

I know I should get used to it,
I know I should say goodbye,
I know that I just have to smile,
But all I do is cry.

I will always love you,
I’m loving you right now,
I should learn to be just friends.
But I can’t, I don’t know how.

Everything I see or hear,
Reminds me of you.
I just wish that one day,
I could be back with you.

You saved me from the darkness,
You saved me from my fear,
You helped me in this bitter world,
And for that I hold you dear.

Eventually we’ll fall apart,
Time will make us drift,
We’ll always have the love we shared,
That’ll be our only gift.

I don’t ever wanna lose you,
So please don’t leave me here,
I’m not going anywhere,
So hold me close and end this fear.

I keep picturing us together,
In the very end,
I guess I’ve gotta realize,
That now I’m just a friend.

Sitting In My Bedroom

Sitting in my bedroom, I dreamt of you.
You and your style.
You and your smile.
But there was something that I missed.
It was that last kiss.
That last kiss when we said good-bye.
I looked back but couldn’t see anything but black.
Sitting in my bedroom, I start to cry. And was wondering why.
Wondering will God ever bring us back together. If so, would we stay forever?
Sitting in my bedroom, waiting with anticipation.
Waiting for that phone to ring. Waiting for that bell to ding.
Sitting in my bedroom, I look around and see that I am alone with fear.
But I think that I can bear.
Sitting in my bedroom, are you there?
I can’t seem to hear.
Sitting in my bedroom, come to find out I’m sitting in pain.
Pain of a broken heart.
Will there ever be a new start?
Sitting in my bedroom I dreamt, I dreamt of you!

You

Last night I lay in bed
Tryin’ to fall asleep
But nothing seemed to work
I even tried counting sheep

Thoughts of you keep occurring
Over and over in my head
And I didn’t want to fall asleep anymore
I didn’t want to go to bed

I wanted to be with you
I wanted you to hold me tight
I wanted you to look into my eyes
And tell me everything’s all right

I wanted to tell you I love you
And I miss you so
I wanted just to be with you
And never let you go

I wanted to make you understand
How much you mean to me
That if I lose you, I’ll have nothing
I wish I could make you see

See, no one has ever done this to me
No one’s made me feel this way
You’re always on my mind
Every second of every day

I need you to be here for me
And Ill be there for you
I need you to stay forever
’Til our last day together is through

You have my heart in your hands
Promise you won’t let go
I couldn’t live my life without you
I just needed to let you know

Just One Look

Just one look,
That’s all it takes,
To let me know
That this is fate.
Just one look,
A glance into
Those clear-as-crystal
Eyes of blue.
Just one look
To make me feel,
Make me know,
That this is real.
Just one look
And then I'm sure
You’ll give me the world
And so much more.
Just one look
And then I know
Without any words
You love me so.

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This heart is full of passion
But no one to love
These eyes are full of tears
But no one to care
This mouth is full of words
But no one to listen
This smile is full of teeth
But no meaning behind it.

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Secretly I wait for your return ’cuz
I know I’ll never be the same ’til
I reclaim the love I lost
I wasn’t ready for the game
Too young, arrogant, and lame
There’s no way I could’ve predicted all
The pain, the shame, that comes
When you’re left with feelings
Not yet digested
And a heart that’s so congested
With a love no longer wanted
I no longer take pride in the
Things I once flaunted
When you left you took the part of me
That wanted to love and live
You stole all I wanted to give
And put it away like leftovers
In a fridge.

Picture Perfect

The sun has risen
Oh what a joy
I watch it go
I watch it grow
Quickly but silently
Its color blinds me
I wish I could be so high up in the sky
I want to fly, instead of sigh
Time passes by
It soon descends
It turns colors
Picture perfect
I wish it wouldn't end
So it could go on
As I intend
Oh, what an end

August 2003

Hold Your Breath

In the bath; vigorously scrubbing away the poison that
will never resign.
Glance to the window
and peer out the shades.
Under the urban ocean
you can’t see the stars too well,
they are cloudy
from the sewage that that runs by your hand.
Swallowed by the city
Drowning; swimming to survive.
Don’t breathe; keep the liquid
from your lungs.

My Angel

I told myself
My angel has to be you
You cuddled with me and made me warm
You'#146;re even sweet as can be
But I felt something missing in my heart
Maybe someone like you
Should help me be true
And help me come through
I wished that you'#146;d always be able to
I know my one and only dream will come true
And the dream came true
You cared for me
You helped me
You cuddled with me to keep me warm
You even said I belonged to you
So now I know I wanna stay with you
I get upset
You'#146;re there to hear what I have to say
I can'#146;t believe how lucky I am to have an angel
And now I know the angel is you

Looking Back

Looking back on what I’ve done
back to when I thought that
you were the one,
I thought you were serious,
when you said together
I could feel it in your kiss,
that you meant forever.
But if that was forever,
my timing must be wrong,
cause at one time I thought,
forever lasted long.
Maybe I’m too scared of commitment,
and that is why I ran,
but the whole time I was wishing
you could be there holding my hand.
But I found myself looking back,
on the things that I had done,
the things that chose my path,
that made me not the one.
And now you hold another,
like I was nothing more
than a lost little girl,
you left standing at your door.
But I hope one day you’ll find
the emotion that I lacked
’cause now I’running away from this
and I’m NOT looking back!

Every Time

Every time I see couples hug and kiss,
It makes me remember us, and you I start to miss.
Every time I hear your name,
I just want to cry and I feel nothing but shame.
Every time I see you at school,
our past together I think of and it hurts but my heart you stole.
Every time our eyes meet for so long,
I start to feel the love that used to be so strong.
Every time I hear ringing from the phone,
I answer hoping to hear your voice but I stay endlessly sad and alone.
Every time I check you out you always look good,
to have you back as mine I wish I could.
Every time I think of what would happen if I’d never had you,
I realize I wouldn’t be who I am. You gave me love and you showed me love
That really is true.
Every time you walk by me I get that feeling inside,
and I know you do too but it’s hard for me, no longer my feelings can I hide.
So please, come back to me. You’re the only guy that I’ve loved so much and
cared for,
I’d do anything for you, I need you this time. Not having you makes my
heart broken and tore.

Feel’ns

What am I feel’n today?
Am I feel’n sad, mad, or glad?
What makes me happy?
Only one person knows the things that make me sing.
Not his rings, just the little things.
Like on my birthday I just want to lay beside him as he tells me I’m beautiful
And how much he wants to be there
Then I start to see that the small things are what I need.
So if you feel low then go out and find the little things for you and your love that the one above has given you.

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What would you do if every time you fell in love with someone you had to
Say good-bye?
What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be
there?
What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be
10 moments of sadness?
What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to
tell them how you felt?
What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else and you
Could never have them?
Some people live and some people die.
But I want to tell you I love you and you are a true friend...
That I will always be here for you when and if you need me...
If I died tomorrow, you would be in my heart forever.
Would I be in yours?

You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year,
don’t talk that often the next year, and don’t want to talk at all the year after
that.
So I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you
are special to me and you have made a difference in my life.
I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you.
Let old friends know you haven’t forgotten them, and tell new friends you
never will.
Remember, everyone needs a friend, someday you might feel like you have NO
FRIENDS at all, just remember this poem and take comfort in knowing
Somebody out there cares about you and always will.

Meant To Be

Your sweet personality
your soft gentle kiss
whenever I think of you
I remember this
the first time I saw you
the times of total bliss
how I would always be with you

I really miss
your caring, loving touch
caressing upon my face
being held in your arms
was my favorite place
the first time I talked to you
I knew it was meant to be
I was meant to be with you
you were meant for me...

Sometimes It Feels Like The World’z On My Shoulderz

Sometimes I feel like the world’z on my shoulderz,
Too much weight can’t relax.
The stress keepz buildin’, the pain unbearable.
The world borin’. Then I look up into the sky and I wonder why I feel this way:
"Is it normal?" I ask myself.
Then I know that the answer’s yes.
Because we all have to have pain and stress in order to bring out the best in ourselves.
Sometimes I know that I am not alone and that I will never have to
shout for help
Because all the help I need is out here with me.
It’s all of you.

Keep or Lose

I’m here, you’re not
I’m sad, I thought
life would be hard without you around
but there is a wonderful peace that I have found

The tears, they run
Sometimes, were fun
yet most tugged deep on my heart
because our love you didn’t want to start

we kiss, we hug
but no, no love
no real relationship was allowed
so I’m left under an emotional cloud

with me, with her
more pain, I endure
you said I was more beautiful
but it still made me feel like a fool

i miss you, I don’t
the pain, I won’t
ever go through again
I can’t have you as just my friend

You’re on your way
back home to stay
you have to choose
do you keep or lose

Not Ready

Not Ready

I’m saying no
You’re saying yes
Is this the way it goes
I’m not hoping so
Are you playing a game
I’m making this right
Don’t wanna take it to another night
Scared out of my mind
But you just keep bugging and holding me tight
Boy if you want me
You better play by the rules
Or it’s gonna start a fight
oh yeah
I’m taking it slower
You’re moving it faster
Do you really want me boy
I’m tying the ends
And you’re bending them
I’m putting my foot down
I ain’t messing around

I’m All Gone Because Of You

Everyday I’d sit up
And look up at the sky above
And wonder why
My heart is still alive

Because you’ve torn me
And broke me
Apart
And now I’m lost and cold
And can’t begin a new start

The lights grew dimmer
My life no more shimmers
Crying my tears dry
Till there is no more to cry

Because you took my heart
And I’m sad
Because you stole my love
And made me hurt so bad

I’m so alone
I’m hurting inside
I’m all gone
No more light in my life

No More Of Us

We had something
Now it’s gone
Oh well
I’m moving on

Can’t keep pretending
That you’re still with me
Got to stop the hurting
Walk out and leave

Ooh it’s all over baby
No baby you’re crazy
No more of you and me
Ooh it’s too late for you
No baby you crazy
No more of you and me

Packed my bags
Headed out so fast
I can’t look back
Even though this feels bad

Can’t keep thinking
That you still love me
Got to start healing
Walk out and leave

No more of you and me.

Plate

I feel like a plate that has been passed around in pieces,
because it has been dropped and broken in so many places.
First, the center where the heart and soul lies
It has been crushed and scattered about, because of a lost love.
Next, the edges are chipping away the little bit of pride left,
but turned into instability of esteem,
developed from confratation of the love I get from my family.
Last but not least, the only one that has not been broken yet: the outer core of self-wisdom and the past of my self-confidence.

Hurting

People never know how much they hurt you.
Until the damage is done.
Time after time the words fly by.
So what happened to the love?

Every time this seems to happen,
Your heart hurts more and more.
Until finally you think it’s over,
But then they come back for more.

Haven’t they hurt you enough?
Will this torture ever end?
You try to keep a stiff upper lip,
But you feel those tears again.

They run down your reddened face,
Now harder than before.
You pray dear Lord please help me.
Because I can’t take much more.

Now the fighting is over,
With truces on their way.
I guess I’m OK for now.
But what about another day?

Jessica M.

I hide my pain behind my smile,
I try not to let it show.
I keep it all inside me,
I won’t let someone know.
I don’t want any pity,
For all the pain I feel.
These open wounds inside me
I know someday will heal.
It hurts so bad it stings
It pierces my soul.
Something’s missing from my heart
I know there is a hole.
My friends don’t even notice
What I’m hiding deep inside.
Everything I feel that hurts
I always push aside.
I know that when it’s time
My pain will fade away
But for now I am still hurting
Each and every single day.

Boys And Girls

Boys go for looks,
Which at times can be deceiving.
Girls feel they’re in love,
This joke they keep believing.

Men are secure with their emotions,
And love their girl for who she is.
Women know when the love is fake,
And they know when to dismiss.

Boys only get with girls
To make ’em feel like the man.
Girls will do anything,
To get a boy to hold their hand.

Men know when the love is true,
For time has proved it so.
Women know love can change,
And they know when to let go.

Boys want what’s easy.
And Men want what will last.
Girls just want to feel special,
While women learn from their past.

Bitter Sweet Knowledge

Is it easy to hide
from what you feel?
Because the reality of it
makes it hard to deal.
is it easy to run
down an empty street?
so no one can hear
your conscious speak?
or is easier to say,
"I’d rather not try"
always knowing
it’s just a lie.
Or is it easier to accept
the realities of life.
knowing that the end result
is worth the fight.
The truth of which
is in your "Self."
The Bitter Sweet Knowledge,
of realism to "Self."

Tears

Tears of joy I cry,
tears of happiness too,
today is great for me and should be great for you.
If everything’s so perfect then why are you so glum?
Who has died?
Who has cried?
Who has ruined the family fun?
I see you crying not tears of joy but sad tears of defeat,
I hear you cry sad tears of deceit,
I ask," why do you cry tears of sorrow?"
You reply, "No reason, your happiness I shall borrow."
Why don’t you tell me now why you cry so sadly?
Because I know the battle is not won,
so why must you hurt so badly?

haiku

the breeze feels so good
the breeze smells like strawberries
i love a good breeze

Expensive Love

Their love is sweet and true,
And it is good lesson for me and you.
Their love for them is so expensive,
Although for us it’s too intensive.
They keep each other like a treasure,
We think of it as it is pleasure.
They show the world their precious ways,
It brightens all our days.
They hold each other up so tight,
The world is crying from such sight.
They love each other in their hearts,
For that their love will never dominate in parts.

Be Mine

There is something in you that I see
Something I want to be a part of me
Our friendship has grown and is much more
Something special worth fighting for

When I’m with you I feel unconditional happiness
Just hearing your voice makes my day
Sometimes I don’t know what to say
Because I look into your eyes and get speechless

There is something I wanted to ask you
But didn’t know how to say
So I wrote you this poem
Because this is the right way

When I’m with you I don’t want to leave
When we talk I don’t want to say goodbye
I want this to be official
I want you to be my guy

Will you go out with me

I Love You

It’s been so long we’ve been apart
But I’ve always loved you from deep within my heart
I regret for what I have done
Now what I once had is lost and gone

I lost the one who stole my heart
The one who’s life I was once a part
I lost the greatest guy there could ever be
The one who meant so much to me
I lost the one who I truly cared about
The one I haven’t had any doubts

Why didn’t I realize all this
Before I knew what I would miss
Now it’s that time for me to let you go
But it’s hard when my heart says no

I know you have moved on
And a new life for you has begun
I’m really happy for you
And I wish the best of luck for you two
I hope she’s the one you dreamed for
The one that can show her love even more

I just have these last words to say
I think of you from night to day
Each night before I go to bed
I have you in my head
Before I sleep I like to pray
I pray for us to be together again someday
Now these words I’m about to say is true
I MISS YOU AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

I Told You I Love You

You once gave me a rose, because you loved me I suppose.
But as I sat by it, day by day, I watched it wither, wither away.
It reminded me of love, like the rose, it withers and grows old and
becomes cold.
I knew it was all too good to last.
As each petal fell upon the table glass it reflected my heart, in pieces,
and then came streams of hurt down my face like silk and lace...

I told you I love you.

My Eyes

This pain I conceal inside is not found only in my eyes, but in my heart.
And like the walls around my heart; the hurt will never fall completely apart.
Maybe its time for a brand new start.
How can one escape a world of sorrow, a world so accustomed to, a world that I’m so familiar with?
Can I just abandon a life style of pain?
It sounds so easy, but easier said than done.
Do I have the power to stop something I never begun?

My eyes are like the ocean, the windows to my soul,
Sometimes the tide is high sometimes the tide is low.
A sea of mixed emotions dwells at the pit of my heart,
So look deep within my eyes and tell me where it stops.

I drown in a pool of sorrow that runs into the river of pain,
Which breaks into the heart of the ocean that can never be fixed again.
And did I plan for this to happen the way that it did,
Did I ask for the undertow of grief to sweep me off my feet and carry me into the deep?
And still my eyes won’t seep.

Will a wave of love ever crash upon my beach;
To anyone will I ever reach?
Touch a heart or fill a soul, bestow the love that once was stolen from me?
Will there ever be a tide of hope?
Some times I wonder how I cope.

And as I drift in this sea I wonder if anyone misses me,
If anyone thinks of me, or why it’s so hard to be me.
So when you look at me think about the ocean or the sea, so quiet and still,
Until you look for real, there’s a deeper side to me when you look into

My eyes.

You Make Me Feel...

I’ve been meaning to tell you how you make me feel and I just don’t
understand it, how I love you still.

You make me feel like I’m your last resort. You go through all your phone
numbers and you sort and you sort and you sort.

Finally you come across my phone number, the one you said you lost, and since
nobody else is home you decide to give me a call.

Well, I got news for you, bud! I’m not waiting for your call.

I’m not a fool! No, not one at all!

You make me feel like I’m nothing to you. I wish you knew how I felt,
just put on my ole’ shoe.

You make me feel like I’m running in place, I’m running to reach out to
you, but yet I drift in space.

I’ve been meaning to tell you, you make me feel so unwanted, unloved,and
left out. I thought you were my friend!

I’ve been meaning to tell you, you make me feel . . . Well, at least you
make me feel.

Why do I love?

Why do I love that which returns my love void?
What love is this that loves so much that it hurts?
What love is this that leaves my heart in open pieces?
What love is this, which is in abundant supply,
That I know not of?
What love is this that loves Agape, for I feel it not.
Why do I try so hard to love that which loveth me not?
Why do I love at all?

Feelings of Hurt

If I bled for every time you hurt my feelings you would have sucked the
life out of me!

If there were a drop of blood for every mean word you have said to me the
ocean, seas, lakes, ponds, rivers, and streams would be full of me,
overflowing with the warm liquids of my veins.

Every ditch and puddle would be a scarlet blanket lain perfectly to fit
and form the ground,
Caressing it with its warmth.

It’s still warm; I can see the steam rising from it on a cold day.
"Why?," you ask me. Because every time the wound begins to heal you tear it open again.
You go straight to the source; you break an already broken heart,
spilling the warmth of my body.

If I were to bleed for every time you verbally abused me, the water you
drink and bathe in would no longer be water but a pool of my sorrows and
the rain, the rain in which your children play, would be my tears.
And the tears that you cry and the sweat that you sweat by the labor of your own
hands would no longer be yours but mine.

I lie on the ground and weep in a puddle of my own grief and look to the
sky, dying over and over again.

Lover of Pain

Why does love bring so much pain?
Why does something so pleasant bring so much misery?
It’s like exchanging a little bit of pain for a little bit of love
And a little bit love for a little bit of pain, so why then is there a use for love?

I ask these questions and yet I love, then why ask questions
You know not of?

Why does loving someone bring so much pain?
(I know not the answer and yet I still ask)
And so, if love bringeth such pain then I, being the lover of pain, bear so much of it,

Because I love
To love!

Friends We Were

Friends we were, but I know not what we all are now.
I don’t know what happened, I don’t know quite when or how.

It happened so quickly and I guess God has a plan.
I hope it is good whatever he may intend.

Friends we were, but a season brought, for us, a change,
and now nothing we do or say will ever be the same.

Friends for a season, but it quickly came to pass.
Somehow I knew it was all too good to last.

Confused

I can’t sit still, my mind is blurry,
But you can’t understand that I’m in a hurry.
I feel like I have to make up my mind quick,
And jump over that candlestick,
That candlestick is a choice that’s making me sick,
Whether it’s remaining friends or moving closer,
When I see you I feel like I’ve been on a huge roller coaster.
You make me feel special as your friend and maybe more,
But I’m just not sure of what will make my heart less sore.
I worry if something happens, will we still be friends,
We said that nothing would happen to ruin us in the end.
I cry when I think I’m making the wrong decision,
My life depends on if I figure out this mission.
I don’t get what I should say,
I mean we see each other everyday.
My heart doesn’t want to be broken,
So how should this be spoken?
We’re total opposites in looks,
But in our personalities we like all the same books.
We might not make the cutest item,
But when we’re together we look behind em’.
You’re my friend unlike any other,
I can trust you with my secrets not like my brother.
You play with my hair, you gave me a nickname,
My life seems like a hard video game.
I frustrate myself all the time,
I wish I could go out with you and dine.
My life is confusing to me, how about you,
If you want to know what’s wrong I could name just a few.
If you make my life feel so well, then why does every minute seem not okay,
And by the way,
This is sort of your fault,
Sometimes I feel like I’m trapped in a cult.
I know that you like some one else,
And maybe me too, but I can’t see that your heart melts,
Like mine does when I see you,
With the things that you do.
I wish I had more to say,
But I think I’ll call it a day.
Of writing this poem about how I’m confused,
And how all this thinking is making my heart feel abused.
I really like you and that’s about it, so now I think I’ll call it quits.

Don’t Mind Me

Don’t mind me as I dream
of the things you have not seen
in people that you talk to everyday
For I have found what you have not
some may call it perfect
others a dream
but I have found it and it is true
not all people are shallow
who depend on outter beauty
and not inner like the one I show to everyone
don’t mind me as I dream
of a perfect world that has no shallowness
and everyone looks to the inner beauty
if only you were to experience such a dream like mine
you’d be on cloud 9 and feel light as a feather
for that’s how I feel
Don’t mind me as I dream

Just One of Those Days

It’s just one of those days
Where everything seems strange
Nothing seems real
When I don’t even know my name
It’s like I’m in a different game
Can you tell me the rules?
I can’t feel a thing
Pinch me
It’s gotta be a dream

It’s just one of those days
Where everything’s a haze
Every word I speak
Buries me soo deep
Everything I do
Makes me look like a fool to you

It’s just one of those days
Where I can hardly breathe
I feel so incomplete
I have to cry myself to sleep

It’s just one of those days
When nothin’ feels the same
I’m trapped in reality
It’s seems like the end of the game

It’s just one of those days

TheTruth That Lies Inside

I look into your eyes
and see into your heart
and the pain inside of you
is tearing me apart
when you’re in such a state
I see the pain reflect inside of me
So you look into my eyes
and tell me what you see
I know what you see . . .
It’s YOU
and the love I feel for you
I love you more then anything in the world
why couldn’t you see?
You were blinded by someone else
but now you can see
who you truly love, need, and want
and that lucky woman would be . . .
Me.

Lust

Lust is pleasure
without the pain.
Passion is what we
feel when we
look into those
eyes!
Pleasure is how
we feel when we kiss!
Pain is what happens
when you leave!
It never seems to end,
it is like a burden
that seems to be there
no matter how many times
you say you care!
If you don’t care then
don’t say you will always
be there!

Finally It’s Here...

I was forced into a world with someone I knew nothing about
Someone even though… I loved without a doubt

For a year it took going backwards to learn what a fantastic love we shared…
It took bruises, it took tears... it took time.

We became friends... that’s what’s important, and so this day we are what
you’d say... best friends.

I may have said in the heat of the moment I regret the way we started....
but truly now, I regret nothing for what I started... for it’s finally here.

The chance to truly feel, the chance to truly show how much our love has
grown.
I love you today, and always will.... you’re forever in my heart.

It’s finally here... who’d have known

Untitled

I’ve been there for you and all the things you want to do even though
You’ve put me though so much hurt.
I didn’t listen to people and what they said to do because I felt
Everyone should have a chance.
What is done is done.
What’s in the past is in the past
But for some reason I feel as if you
Need to stop taking me for granted
Because you’re going to look around one day
And I’m not going to be there to hold your hand
And help you through what ever it is that you are going through.
I love you so much and I know you don’t like to see me cry
But I want you to know that I do cry
Because how could you still do the things you do if you know.
So tell me what I’m to do to make you understand
That I love you and I’m in love with you
And nothing you do can do can make me feel any different.

Never Want To Lose You!

The first time I met you
We were just cool
I didn’t see you for a while
Then it came true
Now i can’t live a day without you
I need to have you in my life
I want to be your soulmate, your love, and your wife.
I love you more
Then I’ve ever loved before
I would do anything to make you see,
that you mean the world to me.
the very first time I said I love you
I knew deep inside that it was true.
From that point on I knew,
that I was forever stuck with you.
This is a promise,
A promise to me and you
That we will always be by each other’s side.
A promise to always stay true,
to always stick together and never make one another cry.
You are my boyfriend,
but my best friend too.
And this is why...
I don’t ever want to losyou!!!

Untitled

sad
you live
you die
you love
you hate

Untitled

it’s big
it started minor
and grew bigger
you didn’t want to
tell anyone it’s small
for others it’s big for
the ones it happened
to you’re so scared
you don’t know what
to do finally you tell
everyone!

July 2003

Untitled

I’m not saying I love you, because that would be untrue

I’m not saying I don’t, because that would be dishonest to you

I’m not saying to wait for me, because you might be waiting too long

I’m not saying to go away, because that would be entirely wrong

I’m not saying to forget me, because I’ll always be there

All I’m saying to you is that I’ll always care

Thankful

I’m thankful for what God has given me
And for my parents, who taught me so much
I am thankful for all God has let me see
I am thankful for my family’s tender loving touch
I am thankful for every breath I take
And every step along the way
Every move that I make
I am thankful for everyday
I am thankful for my friends
I’m so grateful that they’re here
It’ll be that way till the end
Thank God they’re always near
I am thankful for this rare happiness inside
I am thankful that there’s always someone by my side

Untitled

I have been on this road before,
I can’t seem to find the open door.
I took two wrong turns, neither was right,
I can’t seem to stay out of trouble tonight.
I hope I find a window, I need to escape,
My pride has been stolen, and my soul has been raped.
I am not proud of who I’ve become,
I’m ashamed of the things I have done.
I need to get out, I need to breathe,
I don’t want to stay, I have to leave.
I can’t make good decisions,
I’m in no state of mind,
Please bring me with you,
Don’t leave me behind.
I’ve been on this road before,
Please help me find the open door.

My Path

I went down that path.
I was following someone, only because I thought I
liked him.
But I was wrong.
I went down that path and I got my self in a lot of trouble.
My grades and my dreams were ruined.
When I was riding down that path I saw my family and I saw the hurt look in their eyes.
I saw the future and I saw nothing besides an underage mother who was
smoking and had nothing good in her life.
I really didn’t want that to be me.
I have finally decided to turn around.
I turned around and now I’m going in the opposite direction.
I’m going down the other path. It’s taken me a year and things are getting better.
I have seen all my old friends and now they’re just a speck of dust.
They don’t mean anything to me anymore.
I didn’t like their choices and I didn’t like mine so I did something about it.
As I’m heading down this path I see my future. I see me going off to college.
I see my new friends and their choices that I agree with.
Yet they do have some I don’t agree with.
They have good intentions so I ignore their other choices.
This path has its share of potholes and bumps but I have my friends to help.
I know they won’t stay with me forever and I know that I’m gonna have to go over a few bumps by myself.
I think I can handle it.
I’m strong.
And every day I’m getting stronger.
Yet I know that one day I wont be able to handle it and I’m just gonna need to take a pit-stop to get every thing working right again.
I have told my "friends" that I’m not turning around for anyone and I’m not gonna stop for them either.
If they want to be with me then they have to follow close behind or ride right next to me down this path.
As of now there are a few too many potholes and bumps and right now I’m dealing with it all by myself.
I wish that there were someone sitting next to me to help me through these tough times.
Well... for now all I can say is... Goodbye and good luck with the choices you make.

Unintentional Sculptors

Some are like clay
one touch and they are molded
influenced constantly by spoken pressure
I'#146;ve found that I create
them
unknowing
and they end up as predictable as the rest
each a malleable ball of grey
that
mimics my long kiln-dried form
but
when I found you, you
had already been hardened
and the design known as You
is so much different than mine
and I sit in my form, amazed
that you are so established

You add clay to me
and I place pieces on you
and now
now we can walk through the fire together

PLEASING YOU

I would go on my hands and knees
begging you please
if you could just for one day
say "I love you" for you,
no matter what your exterior!
I would go on my hands and knees
just so you could see
I’m only human, I feel love, hate, and devotion.
Must I cause a commotion to get your
attention to please you?

I’M GONE

It’s so amazing
how apart we’ve grown
so now it’s time
for me to leave you alone

We had good times
and bad times too
and all I could ever think about
was you and only you

And when you moved
it hurt me bad
not to mention
how I felt so sad

We finally broke up
I realized you was gone
so I decided
I was ready to move on

Then two days later
we talked again
and then we decided
we were more than friends

There was a time
we didn’t talk for a while
then we seen each other again
and couldn’t do nothin but smile

That same night
we talked on the phone
and once again
you’ve left me alone

So now I will give us
only one more chance
for us to make
our relationship enhance

After this chance
I will move on
and let YOU realize
I’M the one that’s gone!

Boys: a teenage girl point of view

I’ve learned that boys never grow up.
They follow me around like a lost little pup.

Later in life the boys become men.
They go through a new phase and start over again.

God must have put them on earth for a reason.
It’s just too bad they have to be here every season.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes they’re okay.
They even make me warm and fuzzy by the end of the day.

I’ll learn to deal with them as I go on with my life.
Maybe someday I’ll become a fine wife.

When

When I was with you I wanted you to obey my every whim,
When you wouldn’t I went to someone else,
When you found out I knew that I had hurt you very deeply,
When we split up I knew it was only you that I wanted,
When I tried to get you back you said that you would always love me,
When I heard those words I knew there was a chance,
When you said I had hurt you too much I knew that I wouldn’t win,
When I was with you I was sad and missed you.
When I met one of your friends I thought that he wasn’t for me,
When he asked me out I told him I would think about it,
When I said yes he was overjoyed,
When I am with him I think of you,
When I think of you I realize how much I loved you,
When he said I loved you, I thought he was lying,
When he said he would wait I knew he wasn’t

And now when I am alone I no longer fight with myself but I find I don’t
love you anymore, and I am happy that we are still great friends

Your Smile

Your smile is like the sunshine
lightening up my day.
Your smile is like a rainbow
that has swept across my eyes.
Your smile is like a peach
so sweet and delicious.
Your smile is like chocolate
one look and you’re hooked.

One More Time

The rain falls softly on my window pane
Yet I see a glimpse of sunshine
Through the pain
The rain continues to fall
And my heart continues to call
To let love grow in it once again
The sun has come and shown over the mountains
A new day has come and let me sing
Of the love I have for You once again
Let me breathe the fresh spring air
Through my lungs and out again
Just once again
Let me breathe Your love all in
Just one more time
Once again

June 2003

Trapped

I feel trapped
concealed to this place
nowhere to run
nowhere to get away
not even for one day
those watchful eyes
always lurking, searching
awaiting my next move
leave me alone
let me be me
I'm sick of being told what's right for me
let me be the one to decide
what's going to happen
in my life

Skip

Skip my dog is fun,
The most funniest dog around,
Skip is the coolest!

Deep Inside

Please don't judge me by my face,
by my religion or my race.
Please don't laugh at what I wear,
or how I look or do my hair.
Please look a little deeper,
way down deep inside.
And although you may not see it,
I have a lot to hide.
Behind my clothes the secrets lie,
behind my smile, I softly cry.
Please look a little deeper, and maybe you will see.
The lonely little girl that lives inside of me.
Please listen carefully to her,
she`ll show that she is insecure.
Please try to be a friend to her,
and show her that you care.
Please just get to know her,
and maybe you will see.
That if you just look deep enough,
you`ll find the real me.

Oh So Blue For You

Thinking of you
That's all I do ever since I saw you
Dressing nice just for you, and thinking if I am good for you.
Maybe I'm right, that I'm not the one for you
But am I right when I'm saying " Oh so blue for you"?
Asking myself why I see you everyday, maybe because
you have one of my classes everyday.
Trying to tell you I love you, but can't get it out.
OH SO BLUE FOR YOU
Just can't keep my eyes and mind out of YOU!

I Loved You

I loved you, and well, I kind of thought you loved me too.
I loved the sound of your voice, and you told me that you liked mine.
I dreamed about you, and you told me same here.
I told you one lie, and you believed me.
I thought you could tell that that one lie wasn't for real.
You told me we needed to spend some time apart,
And I believed that it was because of having a stressful time right then.
I believed you just as you had believed me, and took your word for it.
You told me about someone that you had met that you really liked.
I told you to pick which one of us, but then you said you liked us both.
I cried and cried night after night,
Missing the nice sound of your deep voice in my ear,
And the sweet sound of your laugh.
Then later on you told me that you missed me.
I told you I wanted you and only you.
You told me that you too wanted to go back with me.
Now again here we stand together again,
I made you make one promise to me . . . and only this one:
That while we're going together that you won't go with anybody else.
You said, "promise."
That one promise I hope you can keep, for if you don't,
I don't think I could stand it, being without you and being sad that you had broken OUR "promise."
I love you AGAIN and I really hope that you mean it this time!

May 2003

Untitled

I can only remember the very first time I cried,
how I wiped my eyes and buried the pain inside.
all of my memories good and bad that’s past,
didn’t even take the time to realize,
staring at the cracks in the wall,
’Cuz I’m waiting for it all to come to an end,
still I curl up right under the bed,
cuz it’s taking over my head all over
again

Space

You are cordially invited to join me,
On a journey that will be out of this world.

Our home will be the endless galaxies, and our playground the Milky Way.
We will be able to spend our forevers star gazing.

For making the universe our new life, we would cut loose
From the strings of society and be like shooting stars.
We would now travel endlessly without fear,
For our fears would disappear into the black hole of space.

In this place we would not be escaping life,

There is nothing more in this world I wish for,
Except for you to join me in forever land.

If you know who you are and what you mean to me,
Then you’ll join me in a place of heaven, where two souls become one!
But instead of just discovering it.
We would be able to talk of anything and everything.

Pain

Life is like a needle–
stabbing you hundreds of thousands of times,
The needle is your problems
and you are its victim

Untitled

Every day I walk down the street
Just thinking of how to control myself
My love for you is so strong
It makes my world turn
You make me the happiest person alive
When I hear you nearby
My love for you will stay forever
Even when I am gone
I will look down on you and make sure nothing goes wrong
I love you in every way and I will love you till the last day.

Untitled

As I walk I feel
As I feel I see
But when I can’t feel
I can’t see

Breathe; Push

it closely breathes by
standing in front of love’s entrance
holds the
door open for cohort’s exits
believable
it still stands
by and by, we
take in the air
keeping it under mind behind frames
with lies just to
sort out their own happiness
of lies
anger
HATE!
THEY shoo love away

we start out from the beginning
finish finished
again
the limitless light
no limit
no
on the ground
bitter pills in my mouth, soaked with saliva of a loser

capsules filled with depression I used to try to end this story
as I spit
upon my plate of God
we got out strong
we beat you
I beat you
I stand
tall
don’t push me down


don’t
push us down


you can’t
push us down

inner strength
personal ability to be strong
stand together
open
doors
open openings
no more finished
don’t walk away
I’ve grown my
cradle
stand up for yourself and your belief
FISTS IN THE AIR!

A Best Friend

Someone you can confide in
Someone who’s been where you’ve been
Someone who’s there for you
No matter what you do
Someone you can cry on
Someone who’s never gone
Someone who cares
Someone who will share
Someone you care about
Without a doubt
There are very few
Special friends like you

TEARS

You see no tears
but they fall before you
Sense not my fears
yet they lay at your feet and my years
they breeze through your hair
like flashes of sunlight
and for all this inside
you’ve never been mine
You sense no unrest
yet it tears at your hair
my worries outguessed
but my head left etched
by the years of games you’ve played
and the hours of unrest
for which I’ve paid
and my anger?
it fucks like the devil
with a gun at its head
and for all this inside
I might as well be dead

Understand

Understand my troubled mind
Understand my aching heart
Understand my loneliness
Understand my emotional scars
Understand my sense of humor
Understand my need to cry
Understand my need for emotion
Understand my craving for trust
Understand my nervousness
Understand my want for openness
Understand my need for holding
Understand my need to try
Understand my want of happiness
Understand my thirst for knowledge
Understand my past, present, future
Understand my want for love
Understand my crazy life
Understand my personality
But most of all understand me!

Untitled

It’s funny how the past isn’t the past at all.
It always seems to remain the future, never forgotten.

Through apologies and forgiveness the past is the present.
No matter how sorry u.r., it’ll be thrown in your face no matter how much
U want to forgive and forget someone, somehow, some way there’s a reminder.

I said I was sorry, that didn’t last too long. Forgave him for
His faults, because he’s only human, a man, that is, it didn’t matter. In
His head there was only my mistakes and not his own, no understanding. So
I learned that forgiveness comes from within.

Was I really sorry? Yes.
Did I learn from my mistakes? Yes. So therefore, I gained forgiveness and
Realized the past isn’t the past, it’s the present, and will determine the
Future.

Can this be!

Can this be you, holding me, touching me, kissing me

Can this be you or maybe
it’s my mind playing tricks on me
Can this be you touching me in thoughts

You know can this be you or is my mind playing tricks on me?
Can this be you.

My angel

My angel are you really here with me or is it my imagination,
are you really my angel
the one that I adore and Charish.

Or are you the one
that I’ve been dreaming about all my life.

My angel are you there.
I can hardly see you are there,
are you there in the mist of the air
or am I imaging that you are there?

Oh yes, I see you,
there you are my angel
the one that I’ve been hoping and waiting for.
You’re finally here my angel.

Depression

When you are depressed you feel like
Everything is your fault.
So much so you want to put your life to a sudden halt.
You feel like the world and the people in it
Would be better off without you
You feel it so much that you know it is true.
You feel so shut out and alone to the that
Your depression has grown.
You hurt so much inside to the point you want to scream and shout
You would think that all that would end with a simple suicide note.
You feel so invisible like you’re not there
Your whole life could pass you by and you wouldn’t care.
People just think you are joking and going through a stage.
But no one is laughing once you are in that coffin case.
You put on this whole act like you are fine and okay
But no one knows you are hurting and you don’t want to stay.
(On earth that is)

LIVE IT

I learned to love, then I learned to hate.
For now I know my life is in the hands of unknown fate.
I have moved passed the madness and learned to smile.
I have moved passed the hate and perpetual denial.
One person changed my life from bad to good.
But that same person made me feel like a child misunderstood.
So I took the blows and I took the breaks,
And I took a step back when there was nothing else to take.
Then I noticed one fight had turned into a war,
And I myself could not take it anymore.
Life is too short to live it unhappy and cold.
So live it free, live it bold.
Let go of the regrets, let go of your own hell.
Live it, and live it well.
I let go of the hate, I let go of the madness.
Then floated away my frustration and then floated away my sadness.
Finally I can breathe, and again I can feel.
This is my life, and I have learned to deal.
Be prepared for the worst, hope for the best.
Your unknown fate will deal with the rest.

Lost

Sunshine fills the skies

As I look into your deep blue eyes.
And I wonder how I got here,

Am I really that far?
Is my home anywhere near?

I feel lost in the depths of my soul
I’m calling out for you,

My heart feels like an empty hole.

With all of this confusion,

And never the more.
Am I dreaming,
Awake on the floor?

Hold my hand and promise me you’ll never let go
Help me escape
I can’t believe it, have I really sunk that low?
My heart is broken
as it is hard enough to mend.

From now until the very end,
And yet, you are my best friend.

How can I feel this way?
When I look back, I remember
My skies weren’t so gray.

A photographic picture of you and me
The days back then, when we used to be free
I fear that I may or might not
Smile and laugh again with glee.

Is there ever an end?
To people’s happiness and pretend?
This must all be an illusion,

How dreams can bend.

I try and run from this nightmare.
I am positively sure,
Everything turned out to be

Such a blur.

There is never going to be a solution,
To a heart

So here they are, these final words.
From me to you, memories from back then.
How can I ever be reassured?
I will never love again.
broken girl.
My entire life crumbles
Before the very world.

Untitled

you ever wonder why people are just bitches
they say one thing and do the next
and expect you to treat them just like the best
cause they figure that they’re different from the rest
and when you speak your mind they get upset
and start to treat you like their ex
doing shit that don’t make sense
but everything they’ve done you’ve already expect

True G

He’s one of those vatos’ that can spit true game,
And when he kicks a line it never sounds lame.

When you need him he’ll have ya back,
He’ll grab his fire and be ready to attack.

He’s a good friend as you can already see,
When his time comes he’ll go out like a true "G"–

Untitled

We both have someone else, yet we want to be together
The first time around we said we’d stay forever
Do you think a second time will work? Will it be better?
All I know is that I want to be together

I can’t stand it without you, I want you to hold me

I want us to go back to the way it used to be
You were my first love, I regret breaking up in the past
Since you were my first, I’d hope you were the last
I miss the way you made me laugh, to the point I’d start to cry

I miss the way you’d do it, will you please give it another try?
I don’t know what I’d do without you, I miss your beautiful lips
Your lips were so soft, I’d love to give them a passionate kiss

Your eyes made me fall, they made me fall so much in love,
You’re just so incredibly perfect, you must have been sent from up above
How do you feel? Do you at all feel the same?
Or is the feeling that I have, just really really lame?
Do you want to hold me? Like the way I want you?
I hope you feel the same way, I hope you really do

I can’t wait until the day, the day we’ll be together
I’m almost positive this will be forever
I really can’t wait, I know love is what I feel and felt
Whenever I see you, I just want to melt

You always know the right things to say, everything comes out so right
I’d do anything, just to be in your arms tonight.

Don’t Act

Don’t act like you care when you really don’t
Don’t act like you’ll be there when you really won’t
Don’t tell me you love me when you can’t even hug me
I’ve been searching for an answer...give me something...anything
Won’t you please stop acting?
"I didn’t mean it that way, but you know how I play."
"I didn’t mean it that time, but you know it’s on my mind."
See, I try to work it out...I try, yes, I try
But it seems like you don’t want to ’cause all you do is run and hide
And that’s just you...that’s all you know how to do
So tell me baby, why couldn’t we just be
The best of friends and live happily
Well obviously we couldn’t figure this out
’Cause all we did was scream and shout

Don’t act like you care when you really don’t
Don’t act like you’ll be there when you really won’t
Don’t tell me that you love me when u can’t even hug me
I’ve been searching for an answer...give me something...anything
Well I wish things could be better, but it’s too late for that
I’m hoping that maybe someday you’ll grow up and face the facts
You weren’t a man about it
You couldn’t be depended on
You did things when you knew they were wrong
So baby listen up cause you’ll be needing me when I’m gone
This time you really bit the bullet face first
I always knew you would, must’ve been some kind of curse

A Dream

I cried last night
when I woke up you were not there
I reached out to feel your warmth
All I felt was the cold sheets
that you left behind.

I searched for you,
but I couldn’t find you.

My head aches
not knowing what went wrong
What made you leave?

I felt a hand touch my lips
and I opened my eyes there
you were lying next to me

Can We be together!

When I look at you make my eyes light up like fireworks
When you hold me
in your arms I feel your warm embracement

You make me feel so warm inside
Can we be together forever?

When you kiss me all my pain and stress goes away
Can we be together forever?

Understanding!

When ever I feel down or confused or sad all I have to do
is pick up the
phone and call you
even though you might not want
to talk about that particular subject
you always listen and take things under consideration.

You are always willing to be there for me
and understand the things
that I go through in my life.

Whenever you need me
I will always be there
to get you through what you’re dealing with in your life
all you have to do is pick up the phone and call me.

I love you
you are my life.
Thanks for understanding me!

You are mine!

I know that you will forever be mine.
Even when we are going through the
hard times and the good times,
you always seem to be the courageous one
out of the both of us.

When I’m crying yo